Being Self Conscious

Thoughts & Insights
Issue #11 November 17, 2008 - www.ThinkItOut.net

Being Self Conscious

Self Conscious. When did the term take on negative or weak connotations? I wonder.

It hit me today, that the multitude of healers, energy workers, average Joe's, and seekers of change are all chanting, looking for, and finding the same answer.

We need to be self conscious.

Not ill at ease. Not an object of scrutiny. Reverse the term and try it on in your mind: conscious self.

Take it one step further. Conscious of my self. How's that feel? Conscious equates to awareness, right? Aware(ness) meaning: "knowing, realizing, conscious" in the dictionary. Not Old English. Awareness meant something more like cautious back then. But that was then, this is now. Self awareness isn't even in my old Webster's dictionary, so in my mind that means I get to make up whatever definition I want. It's my life, and I have a terrific talent for deduction. So, self awareness equals, self conscious. Makes sense to me. That leads me to make the statement that perhaps much of the seeming roadblocks to progress, change, and or success in life right now are tied up in simple semantics.

What does the word spirituality drum up in you? How about work? Try on live.

Is to "live" simply to exist? Or is it an ongoing, malleable process of change and resultant feeling? For myself, I voluntarily opt in for the latter.

If you truly think about (and allow yourself to feel) any of these words: self conscious, awareness, spirituality, work, live ... are they not truly, each one, exactly what you make them?

Take work for example. I can work on a project, whether it is hard physical work outdoors, or work on a writing project seated at my desk. Either can involve non-stop commitment of large portions of time. I've sat writing at my desk for up to twelve hours before. In my mind, I was productively working. My energies seemed to be self sustaining, and I felt great achievement and elation when I finally put down my pen.

What do I make of that? My work came from my heart as a living, breathing, valuable thing; a thing of worth. There's another one: worth. Though my heart's work has not yet made the Oprah show, that doesn't mean that it does not have worth. Perhaps the value in my work is destined to be attained post mortem. I don't know. I hope not, but all I can do right now is believe in its worth to me and to others. Why? Because it feels right. I choose to believe that my work will make a difference for the better for many people. I can't worry or waste energy wondering when or if that's going to happen in a big worldwide way... I know that it has happened in small ways for many people close to me.

That makes me feel good, but I still must be self conscious. I cannot let the lack of worldwide acknowledgement put up a roadblock to my continued work. I also cannot let the positive achievements I have attained, and acknowledgements from people I've helped, let me think I cannot do better or more or different than what I've done before, nor let that small kudos be enough to pacify my need and desire to produce more.

What came before and what's upcoming aren't here now. If I am self conscious, I know that what's important is that my work feels right when I'm doing it. And when I complete my work, it is good, fulfilling, productive work that makes me feel positive, enlightened, contributory ... So, I choose my view: Work is a good thing, something to look forward to, and enjoy, and embrace for what it can do for me and for others right now.

So, why do so many people (including myself occasionally) say, "I have to work," as if it is taking on the plague or a ten ton weight upon their shoulders? Is your work really that horrible? Is mine? No.

So, is it the semantics associated with the word? Is it that and something more? Are we often mindlessly carrying on a tried and true habit of trying to convince others of our extreme burdens in the unconscious hope of eliciting some draft of empathetic energy? In my experience, it is much easier and much more fulfilling to generate your own energy from good positive work well done. Really, it's all in your chosen definition of the word. The power is all in your mind.

I wonder, if we welcome the light of being self conscious, can we change this problem of semantics and break these old habits?

Here's a thought to ponder: Humans are the one creature on earth who seek and strive to control every single thing on the planet ... except themselves.

I don't know about you, but I believe good work makes anything possible, even conscious self control.

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