Every entrepreneur I work with wants to maximize their confidence, as well as their moxie. It's natural to have doubts and fears when starting or operating a solopreneur business based on exposing your talents ideas, products and services to the public. Overall confidence, and entrepreneurial confidence, doesn't come naturally. It has to be built over time. And moxie, well, that's a by-product of confident living.
Here are five things you can do to increase you confidence and ramp up your moxie. Select those that appeal to you, and don't forget to repeat them as necessary, or as desired.
1.CELEBRATE yourself!
MAKE a list of ten accomplishments you feel good about.
We usually underestimate our accomplishments, and fail to celebrate them. Making a list of ten "deeds" is a tool you can pull out of your confidence satchel, whenever you need it. Be sure to list accomplishments in a variety of categories. These categories can include Career, Fun and Recreation, Health and Well-Being, Personal Growth/Spirituality, Finance, Friends and Family, and Environment (Home and Work). Remember, the little things you do can add up to dramatic success.
A friend suggested I give myself a quarter every time I do something online that supports my business, such as updating a social networking site, or changing something on my website. I've been putting quarters into a large, hand painted crystal goblet. It's motivating to watch the goblet fill up. If I wasn't doing this, I might forget to acknowledge all the bite-size accomplishments I have each day. Baby steps, one after the other, are cumulative. Keep the big picture in mind, but focus on the baby steps, and you'll arrive at your destination sooner than you think!
2. ASK for feedback.
TALK to someone you trust, who has confidence in you and in your abilities.
Before you speak, ask them to make a list of ten reasons they believe in you. As they share their reasons with you, listen carefully and write them down. Be sure to give a nod to each reason, and not discount it. Thank them when they're done. Confidence is gained through feedback. There's no such thing as building confidence in a vacuum. We need people to mirror who we are back to us.
Some time ago I participated in an intensive leadership development program. In this program, the key element responsible for my growth as a leader was the feedback they built into the experience. I didn't always receive it gracefully, but it changed my life.
Do you long for feedback, but balk at asking for it? Start small using this exercise with someone who cares about you and holds you in high regard. Ask for feedback often enough, and soon you'll be asking for critical feedback as well. The best teacher is often a well-intentioned critic.
3. RECORD your progress.
WRITE down three things you've fine-tuned or made headway on over the last twelve months.
Are you so future focused that you forget to look back at what you've done and give yourself an A for effort? It's important to know where you're going, but equally critical to know where you've been. One of the best ways to measure progress towards your goals is to write down important things you've tackled in the recent past.
One thing I've made headway on recently is downsizing. For example, I've edited my wardrobe, among other things. I believe wardrobes need updating to match who a person is becoming. My clothing choices are now crisply sparse, yet there's more items I want to part with. In fact, I'm thinking about giving everything away I'm not gaga over. This would motivate me to add only items I'm mad about; that flatter me, express my unique style, and meet my personal standards for comfort (no itchy or unlined wool, tight collars or 3" heels).
I've often asked my clients to make "done" lists instead of to do lists. This exercise honors the same principle of assessment.
Progress usually leads to more progress, and taking inventory can be motivating. What have you made progress on over the past year? What's next?
4. PICK a stage name for yourself that makes you feel authentically charismatic.
Then keep it as your own little motivational secret.
Charisma is thought to be a special grace given by God to certain people. You know. The ones who are particularly charming, can light up a room just by entering it, and have a natural power of persuasion and attraction? Sometimes charismatic people use their dynamic charm to pull the wool over the eyes of others so they can manipulate and control them. Hitler, Stalin, and common, every day abusers fall into this category. But theirs isn't the kind of charisma I'm talking about. I'm referring to savoir-faire; that special something that reflects the comfort you have being in your own skin; authentic personal pride. An immense gulf exists between confidence and bravado. Bravado is fueled by the wounded self. Confidence emanates from an authentic person who believes in his or her self.
Need a little more of that X factor to bolster your self-assurance? Try giving yourself a secret stage name. Maybe it's a voluptuous name that revs you up, and brings a pink glow to your cheeks. Or a symbolic name, that makes you feel more empowered and alive. Whatever it is, it should be memorable, dynamic, and convey your unique "star" quality.
Since my stage name is a secret, I won't divulge it here. Suffice it to say I love it so much I'm tempted to have my name legally changed. However, that would complicate too many things. It's simpler to have it in my back pocket, and continue growing into what it symbolizes for me.
What secret stage name would make you feel like you just won an Olympic medal? Make one up, and stick it in your bag of confidence builders.
5. ENGAGE in something you've been meaning to start.
SELECT a day, and then schedule three times that day that you'll work on your project non-stop for fifteen minutes.
If there's something you've been meaning to start, or have started, but put on the back burner, a good way to get engaged is to set up a few mini sessions. Procrastination should be included in describing the quintessential human. Unfortunately, t's human nature to postpone doing things, that for whatever reason, we've put off or neglected. However, procrastinating makes most of us feel bad about ourselves, and that's just plain harmful to our self-confidence and determination.
Three fifteen minute mini sessions can trick you into visiting what you've been avoiding, because you'll have given yourself an out after a quarter of an hour. You can do almost anything for fifteen minutes, right? When you bundle these fifteen minutes into blocks of three, you end up with something that might be called momentum, especially if you repeat this step often.
I used to call the time I spent reading and talking with my son before his bedtime our "Fifteen Minutes". We both looked forward to this time each day. Sometimes he would say, "Mom, you forgot my Fifteen Minutes". What could be more important than spending time with my son?
What can you accomplish in 15 minutes? 30 minutes? 45 minutes? You'd be surprised!
Be sure to use these confidence building techniques whenever you need a boost. They contain the principles of acknowledgment, feedback, assessment, motivation and engagement, five things that will increase both your confidence and your moxie. Ready, set, go!
Val Olson, MA, LPE, CPCC, is President and Founder of The Val Olson Company. A career savvy author, mentor, speaker and advocate for creative, multitalented women entrepreneurs, she's been a business coach, executive coach and consultant since 1997. Val holds an MA in Human Development, is a Licensed Psychologist Emeritus and is certified as a Professional Co-Active Coach.
Are you ready to rock the world with your ideas, authentic charisma and talent, and fulfill your promise in a community of creatively/intellectually gifted women entrepreneurs? Val provides 1:1 mentoring and business coaching, group support, idea incubators and resources for business and life success.
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