5 Ways To Eliminate Working Mommy Guilt Forever

Working mommy guilt can be one of the biggest drawbacks to working outside of the home. However, I want to assure you that this does NOT have to be the case! In fact, guilt is completely unnecessary and a waste or your precious (and very limited) energy.

Why do so many working mothers experience guilt, anyway? The root of the problem lies in your beliefs and the unrealistic expectations you set for yourself. When you do not meet the impossible expectations you set for yourself in the multiple roles you play, you more likely than not engage in negative and destructive self-talk and label yourself as a "bad mom".

It may be surprising to hear; however, that it is not the absence of the mom during the day that most affects her children; it is the guilt the mother experiences that does the most harm! You might be wondering how this can possibly be this case. Guilt oftentimes shows-up as resentment, anger, diminished energy, and low self-esteem. Negative emotions like those mentioned above lead to negative actions. And, who is usually the brunt of your behavior?

If you are serious about enjoying motherhood while having a successful career, then it is important to take action to ensure guilt doesn't limit your ability to achieve the results you want for you and your family!

So, what can you do to end the guilt trip you put yourself through? The following are simple strategies to help you eliminate guilt forever:

1) Examine your self-talk. Your thoughts have a direct impact on our emotions (e.g., guilt) and the way you feel directly your behavior and your results in life. As such, it is essential that you take some time to assess what you are regularly thinking about or telling yourself that is leading to the guilty feelings. Once you have determined the self-sabotaging message you are feeding yourself, replace it with a positive affirmation that will support you.

2) Use the feelings of guilt to determine if a behavior change is necessary. If you are feeling guilty about not spending more time with your children because you are working long hours for example, then ask yourself if you want the situation to change and identify alternatives that would allow you to reduce your hours. Or, perhaps you are overcommitted and involved in a plethora of different volunteer groups and organizational meetings each week. Shed those activities that are not a priority so you can focus your attention and time on what IS most important to you.

3) Be present. Does this sound familiar…u feel guilty when you are spending time with your family and not working, and u feel guilty when you are working and not spending time with your family? It is a vicious cycle, but it does NOT have to be. One way to nip this cycle in the bud is to be 100% present at work, when you are working. And, when you are at home, be 100% present with your family. This is the number one reason I am able to go on overnight work trips and leave the guilt behind. I know that when I am home with my son, I am 100% focused on him and dedicated to his needs. I do not allow anything else to distract me or take me away from our quality time together (e.g., e-mail, phone calls, etc.).

4) Make the time you spend with your children special. Since you don't have the "luxury" of spending all day, every day with your children, treasure every bit of time that you do have together. One of the best parts of being a working mom is that the time you spend together during the week and throughout the weekends can be extra special. Plan fun activities and really be in the moment with your children. Sometimes this time together is what you need to refresh your outlook.

5) Make a list of the reasons that you work outside the home. Taking note of your motivation for working can help get you through those tough days. Your reasons will be personal to you. Some mothers work out of financial necessity. Others gain a sense of deeper meaning and fulfillment when they contribute to the world through their work. They also believe that the happiness they experience is a positive side-effect for their children. Other working moms want to retain their identity and set a good example for their children. Keep your list handy and pull it out anytime you feel that working mommy guilt creeping up!