5 lessons I’ve learned being a tutor

“We learn more by looking for the answer to a question and not finding it than we do from learning the answer itself”
Lloyd Alexander

Tutoring isn’t something anyone dreams about. At least, I didn’t. All the year I studied hard and in summer I had to work to earn some money for next year in college as plenty of students do. I usually work in cafes as a waiter. As you see, my student’s experience was way too regular. And I was satisfied with it for a while.

I accept these rules of student life and don’t think how to make them better. I didn’t even want it.

But someday I was invited to my fellow’s sister party on her engagement. Funny, but at the engagement party, where there are a lot of young women, I spent all the evening with 12 year old girl.

We met in the backyard of the house where I tried to relax after working day. She sat next to me and started asking me about the college, how probable it is cool to be a student, be an adult and so on. Common questions kids ask older person. I tried to keep the conversation going asking her about school and suddenly realized I wanted to listen to her.

She told me that have trouble with spelling, and we began to play the game which I remembered from my childhood, besides my main course in college was literature and writing, so I knew something in this area. Surprisingly, she was excited!

She liked the game and keep asking me to come and play with her. It was so delightful to make this girl laugh, teaching her, so I went home really pleased. But next day I returned to my routine work. Then I didn’t know that there is no way back. For the next two years tutoring became my hobby which brought money.

Though this first experience inspired me, I was too afraid of being a tutor. One thing is to have fun with the little girl at party playing spelling games, but absolutely another is being a tutor to improve someone’s skills.
Anyway, I chose this way and I don’t regret. Tutoring is the art, and like any art it helps you to understand yourself better, to feel the life, and become a true part of it.

Tutoring taught me a lot of things, but most of all I am thankful for:

1. Listening. When you teach someone who is younger than you, who needs you to be a lighthouse for him or her, you learn to listen. As if you don’t not listen, your tutoring ship could crash into the sea of misunderstanding and fear. By listening, you show the person he or she is important to you and it helps to start trusting each other. Furthermore, listening to what other people say makes everything simpler. Because people usually say what they need and you just need to be here to hear it.

2. Cooperation. When you help someone, you should talk to him/her equally. There is no room for wise advices, censures, and long lectures. You are partners and your goal is to improve the pupils’ skills. You are a team. And there is no worse team than that where players blame or shift responsibility to each other. The success depends on how your partnership is prosperous.

3. Supporting. When there is something pupil couldn’t make, be patient and supportive. Compulsion just makes it worse. To be supportive, when your pupil, friend, or child is going through hard times, is the best you can do. The main reason why people stop trying is the fear of judgment. If your aim is a progress and good relations, be supportive. And, what is important too, it is always coming back.

4. Mistakes. We all make mistakes as it is impossible to know everything. Tutoring taught me to admit my mistakes, don’t be afraid of saying “I don’t know” or “I was wrong”. At first, it seems to be awfully humiliating to say that to your pupil. But it is not! Actually, it is the new chance to learn something new, refresh your knowledge and make closer connections with person as if you admit your mistakes you become weaker in front of others, so in fact you act brave and free, and kids always appreciate it. Everyone appreciates it.

5. Talking. I mean right words. Being a tutor, I learned words which could make everyone do everything, speaking metaphorically, after hearing these words people get wings. “I believe in you”. “You definitely could do it”. “I am proud of you”. We all so much need these words. Let’s say them every day. Because it is fantastic watching people making their dream come true. It really is.