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Articles from Tina Tessina | Selfgrowth.com
- Dr. Romance: Holidays with Family and In-laws - by Submitted on Nov 17, 2020 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance: Marriage means relating to in-laws and extended family. This is what "cleave to each other, forsaking all others" in the old marriage vows meant: Once married, you are now each other's primary relationship, and your relationship with your original family has to change ...
Views: 585(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: How to Apologize - by Submitted on Dec 10, 2019 from Tina TessinaUh-oh. You messed up, and now your boyfriend, relative or best friend is really mad at you. Do you even know why? Dr. Romance explains how to figure out what's wrong and resolve the anger. Dr. Romance’s 4 Steps: How to apologize 1. Surrender to your responsibility. ...
Views: 743(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: How to be civil to an Ex - by Submitted on Dec 10, 2019 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: The divorce was ugly, your ex was a jerk, but you still need to have contact because of your kids or finances. You hate to have to deal with the ex, but you have to. What can you do to make it better for yourself and your kids? Here are ways to ignore your ex's ...
Views: 830(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: How to Create a Good Roommate Situation - by Submitted on Aug 11, 2020 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance: More and more people are sharing quarters since the pandemic. Being social distanced all alone is difficult, and financial problems are making roommates seem more desirable. Here's how to set up a situation you'll be glad about. The best way to have a good ...
Views: 676(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: How to Decide Whether or Not to End Your Marriage - by Submitted on Oct 16, 2020 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance: Should you stay in your marriage? Marriage can be frustrating and disappointing, especially if you don't have the skills to fix it. But giving in to the frustration and leaving may turn out to be the worst thing you ever did. Consider these reasons to stay: 1. ...
Views: 670(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: How to Propose Marriage - by Submitted on Dec 10, 2019 from Tina TessinaOK, guys, you're (gulp) ready to pop the big question. But you've seen those videos of lavishproposals that went wrong. How do you ask her in a way that's got an excellent chance of getting a happy "yes!" in response? Here's how to set ...
Views: 837(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: Improving Relationships between parents and stepchildren - by Submitted on Apr 15, 2019 from Tina TessinaAh, the ugly step parent, celebrated and villainized in fairy tales. Do you have to take on the role? "Dr. Romance" licensed psychotherapist and author, says you don't, and shows you how to manage to be the kind of step-parent that causes your children to say "My step-parent was the best ...
Views: 915(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: Into Each Life - by Submitted on Sep 20, 2017 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: As a parade went by, one of the horses pulling a float entry left a memento in the middle of the road right in front of where we were watching from the sidewalk. From that point on, every band or group that came marching down the road marched bravely on, right through the ...
Views: 1500(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: Is it normal to argue with your spouse about your kids? - by Submitted on Jan 29, 2021 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance: It is not necessary to argue about parenting your kids. Couples usually argue about how their parents raised them, and they want to do the same (or the opposite) of what their parents did. How Not to Pass Your Family Dysfunction on to your kids: 1. Don't do it the way ...
Views: 813(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: Is there a right way to ask for more sex? - by Submitted on Feb 08, 2021 from Tina TessinaIf you and your partner are not on the same page sexually, you need to learn how to talk with each other about sex: Dr. Romance's Guidelines for Creating a Sexual Agreement: * Set up a problem-solving session: * Having a time to talk about sex will help you create trust and sexual ...
Views: 812(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: Make your love life sparkle! - by Submitted on Nov 20, 2018 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance's Top 5 ways to take your marriage from good to great. 1. Talk frequently and honestly to each other about your frustrations, about sex, about anger, about disappointment, about your appreciation of each other, about the meaning of life, about everything. No topic should be ...
Views: 964(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: No Two Miracles Alike - by Submitted on Dec 26, 2017 from Tina TessinaJust as no two snowflakes are alike, no two miracles are, either. I believe in miracles, but the ones that are important to me don’t involve big, showy events. I like the everyday miracles: The food we eat becomes body cells, muscles, thoughts and even emotions. Our ...
Views: 1195(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: On Dating at Work - by Submitted on Oct 30, 2020 from Tina TessinaWork can be the ideal environment for falling in love: you are in close proximity for a long period of time, you may have developed a good working partnership, and from there it is a short step to romance. However, workplace romance can present big problems. ...
Views: 773(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: Peace Begins at Home - by Submitted on Dec 20, 2018 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: This is often called the Season of Peace, as in "Peace on Earth; Good Will to Men" Yet there is so much unrest in the world today: the world is still involved in wars, terrorism seems to be endemic worldwide, and domestic violence and hatred still dominate the news. ...
Views: 1225(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: Reluctant to Marry Again - by Submitted on Sep 29, 2020 from Tina TessinaWhen a relationship that probably began in hope and joy has ended in failure, grief and pain, It's very understandable to be concerned about repeating an action that was so hurtful. Here are some Happiness Tips for recovering from divorce. Dr. Romance’s 3 tips for letting go of the ...
Views: 673(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: Resolve to Make Your Love Life Sparkle! - by Submitted on Jan 03, 2012 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance wishes all of you a happy, healthy and loving 2012! We all are inspired to make resolutions in the new year, to celebrate new beginnings. Rather than resolving to exercise or diet, try: Dr. Romance's Top 5 Resolutions to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great Resolve ...
Views: 2027(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: Spouse's Child - by Submitted on Jun 12, 2016 from Tina TessinaIt’s not the first thing everyone thinks of, but the existence of an out-of-wedlock child will have a big economic impact, and the financial responsibility will grow with the child. 1. Unless you can settle with the child’s other parent out of court, court costs can be very expensive. ...
Views: 1343(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: The Family of the Heart - by Submitted on Nov 28, 2017 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: No matter what you observe: Ramadan, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Solstice or Christmas, this is a celebratory time of year, and most of us are thinking of family, whether they’re near or far. My family is somehow both, since I lost all my aunts and uncles and my father before I was ...
Views: 1238(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: Through the eyes of love - by Submitted on Dec 20, 2017 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: When I was about 7, I had a doll, originally a "Betsy-Wetsy" doll, who had eyes that would close and who drank a bottle and wet her diaper (big toy technology when I got the doll, about 1949) I had had the doll a few years, left her out in the sun and rain, so her latex ...
Views: 1229(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: When Love is Kind: Mutuality in Relationships - by Submitted on Jan 16, 2012 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Many people ask me, “How will I know if I'm in love?” Answer: Anyone who's in love usually knows it; the real question should be are we mutually in love, or am I wasting my time? If you want to be secure in your primary relationship, knowing how to create mutuality and ...
Views: 1876(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: When Love is Kind: Mutuality in Relationships - by Submitted on Apr 02, 2019 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Many people ask me, “How will I know if I'm in love?” Answer: Anyone who's in love usually knows it; the real question should be are we mutually in love, or am I wasting my time? If you want to be secure in your primary relationship, knowing how to create mutuality and work ...
Views: 1005(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: When Therapy Isn’t Working - by Submitted on Jun 13, 2019 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes:As a therapist, I have worked with many clients who had been going to a previous therapist for years, and getting nowhere. Some therapists just listen and sympathize, but will not challenge a client to move through and past trauma and stuck places. If talking to friends and ...
Views: 815(1 vote) - Dr. Romance’s guide to dating safely: - by Submitted on Aug 21, 2018 from Tina TessinaI have encountered so many people who have been disappointed, ripped off or worse when dating online, that I drew up some guidelines for keeping yourself safe. Dr. Romance’s guide to dating safely: Be skeptical, not gullible. When you're meeting dates online (it is not dating until it's ...
Views: 1057(1 vote) - Family Violence Q&A - by Submitted on Jul 21, 2012 from Tina TessinaQ: My spouse and I often have arguments over the “small stuff.” How do we get past this so that we are not constantly bickering? A: I’ll bet neither of you would argue with your boss or work colleagues, or your children’s teachers the way you argue with ...
Views: 1848(1 vote) - Friends in Need: Interventions for Domestic Violence - by Submitted on Aug 03, 2012 from Tina TessinaLast month, I received the following letter from an old friend, Lloyd Barnhart. "A topic I would like you to cover/explore is that curious phenomena which permits otherwise independent women to be dominated…even abused…by males with whom they share some sort or relationship. Why is it that a ...
Views: 1816(1 vote) - Friends with Benefits - by Submitted on Aug 05, 2012 from Tina TessinaIf you’re thinking about having sex with a friend, be very careful, because it is not easy to preserve a friendship once you have sex. We think we can control our feelings, but it's not so simple. If one of you becomes romantically attached as a result of the sex, the friendship will ...
Views: 2920(1 vote) - Gentle Persistence - by Submitted on Aug 12, 2012 from Tina TessinaHave you noticed that nagging, whining, complaining, sternly directing, yelling, criticizing and freaking out don’t seem to get you what you want from a partner, family member, friend, colleague or child? In a previous article, "Asking for What You Want," I explained how to ask cleanly and ...
Views: 2606(1 vote) - Getting Along with Each Other - by Submitted on Aug 16, 2012 from Tina TessinaIn 1998, Richard and I had a marvelous opportunity to sail around the world as the ballroom dance teachers on a cruise ship. Many of the places we saw then, such as Oman, Jordan, Turkey, Morocco, Indonesia and Israel are in turmoil now, and not as safe for tourists. Last year, when Palestinian ...
Views: 2420(1 vote) - Getting Along With Each Other - by Submitted on Jun 09, 2015 from Tina TessinaIn 1998, Richard and I had a marvelous opportunity to sail around the world as the ballroom dance teachers on a cruise ship. Many of the places we saw then, such as Oman, Jordan, Turkey, Morocco, Indonesia and Israel are in turmoil now, and not as safe for tourists. Last year, when ...
Views: 1317(1 vote) - Handling the Green-Eyed Monster - by Submitted on Sep 06, 2012 from Tina TessinaI can’t escape it, it’s in the news every day, and it fills my counseling office. Yesterday, the news told of a four-year-old who was shot to death by his own father, because the father was jealous of his divorced wife’s new relationship. "O, beware... of jealousy; it is the green-eyed monster" ...
Views: 2206(1 vote) - Happy Valentine's Day from Dr. Romance - by Submitted on Feb 17, 2019 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance's Guide to Finding Love Today "This book is all about preparing you -- not just for confident and competent dating -- but for a successful, loving, forever adult relationship. In today's world, most of us need some kind of guidance. If you're conflicted at all about dating...if ...
Views: 730(1 vote) - How Not To Be A Wicked Stepparent - by Submitted on Nov 23, 2015 from Tina TessinaAre you a stepparent? Are you struggling to make the right decisions for your newly created family? If so, here are four tips to help. 1. Give your blended family a chance to bond. Don’t worry if everyone doesn’t settle in right away; bonding takes time. Hopefully, you all got to know each ...
Views: 1310(1 vote) - How Not to Fight: Myths about Fighting In Relationships (And What to Do about Them) - by Submitted on Sep 09, 2012 from Tina TessinaIn my counseling practice, couples are often surprised to learn they can communicate and solve problems effectively without fighting; but sometimes you may find it’s not so easy to give up your struggles. You may have trouble letting go of the fighting habit because of two factors: social ...
Views: 2675(2 votes) - How to Cope with Toxic Friendships - by Submitted on May 03, 2015 from Tina TessinaResearch shows that the happiest and healthiest people are those who are well-connected to friends and family, but all friendships are not beneficial. A healthy friendship has mutual caring, mutual respect, mutual responsibility and good communication. Breaking up with an important friend ...
Views: 1534(1 vote) - I am so sad because I don't see this marriage working - by Submitted on Sep 26, 2017 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: My husband complains that life is a habitrail that he has to get on everyday and he is not being reloaded. I have tried everything I know how to make things better for him. I don't know how to reply anymore, and honestly I am not sure there is ...
Views: 1231(1 vote) - Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things that Can Ruin Your Relationship - by Submitted on Jan 29, 2021 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance is pleased to announce the publication of a new edition of Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things that Can Ruin Your Relationship “With a Ph.D., fifteen books, and 40 years of counseling experience, under her belt, [Redbook Love Expert] Tina ...
Views: 847(1 vote) - My Newest Book Release - by Submitted on Jun 07, 2019 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance's NEW book! Find it on Amazon! This is a perfect book for any woman who wants to do more than talk about changing her life, it's a road map to her goal. The 10 Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make Before Forty 2nd ...
Views: 783(1 vote) - New Book: Dr. Romance's Guide to Finding Love Today - by Submitted on Jul 26, 2018 from Tina TessinaAnnouncing: Dr. RomanceTM’s Guide to Finding Love Today Please order and review on Amazon.com "I learned so many skills from reading this Guide. When I went out this weekend I was SO aware of going out to have a good time instead of going out in hopes of ‘meeting someone.’ Hung out with ...
Views: 1215(1 vote) - Surviving Loss and Thriving Again - by Submitted on Jun 10, 2012 from Tina TessinaNone of us wants to think about it, but the standard definition of a totally successful relationship is the old, traditional “til death do us part.” Any time we love, whether it’s a life partner, a dear friend, a child, a sibling, a parent or even a beloved pet, we are risking the loss of that ...
Views: 2116(1 vote) - The Colors of You - by Submitted on Apr 14, 2012 from Tina TessinaAs life develops, many of us have an urge to focus on the deeper issues—our dreams and goals, and our emotional and spiritual development. When this happens, life gradually becomes more about meaning and satisfaction and less about obligations and accomplishments. As you mature, you can focus on ...
Views: 1583(1 vote) - The Courage to Hope - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2012 from Tina TessinaWe’ve heard a lot about hope recently, but one thing was not said. Hope is scary. Anyone who dares to hope runs the risk of disappointment and feelings of failure. With the overwhelming focus on success in our culture, the threat of failure and disappointment is blown out of proportion. In my ...
Views: 1884(1 vote) - The Good Boss and the Bad Boss: Motivation and How to Create It - by Submitted on Jul 07, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Many of my clients have come in complaining of a lack of motivation; from not being motivated enough on the job, to not being able to diet, quit smoking, or get out of bed in the morning. They desire to achieve both positive and negative motivations — positive motivations ...
Views: 1296(1 vote) - The One Who Got Away - by Submitted on Oct 04, 2015 from Tina TessinaWhen I was a girl, growing up in the small township of Rockland, New York, there was a tiny post office, which was a small room with a separate entry in the house next door. Rockland’s official postmistress was Clara Weiss, who seemed very elderly even when I was a very small child. She ...
Views: 1121(1 vote) - True Beauty: Honor the God or Goddess Within - by Submitted on May 24, 2016 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Extreme makeovers are all the rage these days, with botox injection parties, and reality shows. Plastic surgery is on the rise. Many people are trying to match the extraordinary measures actors and actresses go through to look perfect on the screen. ...
Views: 1282(1 vote) - Turning Poison Into Medicine - by Submitted on Jun 01, 2013 from Tina TessinaThe revered Sufi poet, Rumi, wrote: “We turn poison into medicine and our sorrows into blessings” I’m thankful for many things. I live a wonderful life, surrounded by loving friends and my beloved husband, Richard; I have the privilege of doing ...
Views: 1642(1 vote) - Turning Poison Into Medicine - by Submitted on Jul 13, 2015 from Tina TessinaThe revered Sufi poet, Rumi, wrote: “We turn poison into medicine and our sorrows into blessings” I’m thankful for many things. I live a wonderful life, surrounded by loving friends and my beloved husband, Richard; I have the privilege of doing ...
Views: 1154(1 vote) - What is the key to Hugh Jackman and Deborra-Lee Furness long- term marriage? - by Submitted on Apr 09, 2019 from Tina TessinaAccording to twentytwowords.com, Hugh said “You love each other — and respect each other. You truly want to be together.” Respect and caring are so important in determining who will stay together. Respect and caring create what I call mutuality in the relationship. Mutuality means that love, ...
Views: 812(1 vote) - Why Couples Fall out of Love - by Submitted on May 25, 2015 from Tina TessinaIn my counseling office, I frequently deal with people who’ve heard the dread phrase, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you.” How can it happen that a couple who were once thrilled with each other can fall out of love? It seems like a mystery, but it’s not. And, ...
Views: 1229(1 vote) - Yes, You Can Have A Happier Holiday - by Submitted on Nov 30, 2015 from Tina TessinaRichard and I just indulged in our early December tradition – we watched our favorite Christmas movie, "Scrooge!." the musical starring Albert Finney, which kick-starts our holiday spirit every year. No matter what you observe: Ramadan, Kwaanza, Chanukah, Solstice or Christmas, this is a ...
Views: 1313(1 vote) - Your Bestest Friend – You - by Submitted on May 04, 2014 from Tina TessinaI have a friend, Maggie, who has been my friend since 1968, and she calls me her “bestest” friend as a way of appreciating our connection. It always makes me smile, and I feel the same about her. Often, my clients have trouble learning to appreciate and trust themselves, and I think ...
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