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Articles from Tina Tessina | Selfgrowth.com
- Dr. Romance on shared laughter - by Submitted on Aug 18, 2014 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: A lighthearted approach to serious matters often is the most productive one. Imagine what your days would be like if you focused on having fun and making yourself and your partner laugh. Fun is also good for your health: Telling your partner the cute thing your kid said (or ...
Views: 1496(1 vote) - Dr. Romance On Spreading Kindness - by Submitted on May 08, 2020 from Tina TessinaKindness is the lubrication for life, love and relationships. When you spread kindness, it comes back in many ways, and it’s the foundation of happiness. "Dr. Romance" shows how kindness works and why it’s important to learn to live kindly, even in today’s cynical ...
Views: 685(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on spreading kindness - by Submitted on Dec 29, 2020 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance on spreading kindness Spreading kindness is the best way I know to be happy. If you want to spread kindness around, here are some ideas: *Kindness begins on the inside – learn to be as kind in talking to yourself as you are to others – then, keep improving. Self-talk sets the bar ...
Views: 587(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Ten Things People Don't Know about Therapy - by Submitted on Dec 29, 2020 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: I recently had a first session with a client who said, about halfway into the hour “Wow. I like you. I’m surprised.” I laughed, but I knew what the client meant. As a psychotherapist in private practice, I encounter a lot of people who waited far too long to come in for ...
Views: 588(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on The Colors of You - by Submitted on Oct 08, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr Romance writes: As life develops, many of us have an urge to focus on the deeper issues -- our dreams and goals, and our emotional and spiritual development. When this happens, life gradually becomes more about meaning and satisfaction and less about obligations and ...
Views: 1407(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on The Freedom of Maturity - by Submitted on Mar 14, 2016 from Tina Tessina"And then, not expecting it, you become middle-aged... You achieve a wonderful freedom. It is a positive thing." -- Doris Lessing Maturity or middle age means different things to different people, writes Dr. Romance, but for most, reaching a mature age means developing a new set of ...
Views: 1288(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on The Importance of Humor - by Submitted on Nov 26, 2018 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: We are such an inventive species. We are also a species with a sense of humor. I think the two are connected. It takes a sense of humor to be able to stumble around in an unfamiliar situation until you figure it out. Current research has ...
Views: 912(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on The Meaning of Life - by Submitted on Aug 11, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: A seeker goes to Nepal and climbs into the Himalayas to find a teacher, a guru he’s heard about. After months of searching and struggle, he finds the famous man, and asks his burning question: "What is the meaning of life?" "The meaning of life is a ...
Views: 1205(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on The Pursuit of Happiness - by Submitted on Feb 01, 2018 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: The founding fathers of our country saw the “pursuit of happiness” as an inalienable right – so important they embedded it in the DNA of the United States of America, by writing it into the Preamble to the Constitution. It was a profoundly new idea at the ...
Views: 1257(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on The State of the Union Meeting - by Submitted on Sep 05, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr Romance recommends couples increase their mutual respect and appreciation by having a regular "State of the Union" meeting. Here are two simple techniques you can use in all kinds of relationships: couples, families, even work partners and friends, to enhance your cooperation, ...
Views: 1177(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Turning Poison Into Medicine - by Submitted on Mar 18, 2019 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: The revered Sufi poet, Rumi, wrote: “We turn poison into medicine and our sorrows into blessings” I’m thankful for many things. I live a wonderful life, surrounded by loving friends and my beloved husband, Richard; I have the privilege of doing work which I love, and I’m ...
Views: 973(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Winning the War Within - by Submitted on Sep 10, 2016 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Do you sometimes feel locked in a struggle with yourself? I know I do. Why is it that we know what we want to do, but it’s such a struggle to actually get it done? Even Saint Paul writes, in a letter to the Romans, “I do not do the good I want, but the ...
Views: 1366(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on You Be The Judge - by Submitted on Oct 05, 2017 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: In my therapy practice, I witness a lot of confusion about the proper role of judgement in life and relationships. Often, when I ask clients to analyze whether a person they’re dating has good character, they tell me they don’t want to be judgmental. People in twelve step ...
Views: 1108(1 vote) - Dr. Romance On Your Heart's Desire - by Submitted on Sep 25, 2017 from Tina TessinaYour heart's desire -- what could it be? So many people, including many of my clients, are searching to know what it is would satisfy them, to give their lives focus and direction. "To find in ourselves what makes life worth living is risky business," writes Marsha Sinetar ...
Views: 1511(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Your Job on Earth - by Submitted on May 11, 2018 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: It's easy to get discouraged when we become aware of the suffering throughout the world: natural disasters; racial prejudice; addiction and self-destruction; political oppression in its many forms (starvation, war, torture, misinformation, imprisonment, denial of ...
Views: 1008(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on: Apology and Forgiveness - by Submitted on Apr 19, 2018 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: In my clinical experience, I've encountered many clients who are afraid to admit they're wrong. This comes from a culture of blaming and accusing -- where one's early family may have picked a "culprit" when something went wrong, and focused on blame, rather than ...
Views: 1280(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on: Getting To Yes - by Submitted on Jul 19, 2011 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: The average person pays more attention to what she's saying or thinking about than what she is hearing, or how her words are "landing" on the other person. This self-involvement gets worse during an argument. You can become a much more effective communicator by using what I ...
Views: 1039(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on: Getting To Yes - by Submitted on Jul 10, 2018 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: The average person pays more attention to what he or she's saying or thinking about than what he or she is hearing, or how his or her words are "landing" on the other person. This self-involvement gets worse during an argument. You can become a much more effective ...
Views: 1120(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on: How to Have Happier Holidays! - by Submitted on Dec 12, 2018 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: No matter what you observe: Kwanzaa, Chanukah, Solstice or Christmas, this is a celebratory time of year. For some it's a joy, for others a nightmare and pressure to spend too much, eat too much, and socialize in ways you don't like. If your holiday expectations ...
Views: 930(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on: No Cooperation? Solve It Yourself! - by Submitted on Aug 06, 2019 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: What do you do after you have tried everything and your partner, friend, child or colleague still won't negotiate? In previous articles, like “Asking for What you Want,” “Couples Can Cooperate for Success” and “Gentle Persistence” we’ve explored a lot of communication ...
Views: 857(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on: Should I Start a Family? - by Submitted on Jul 25, 2020 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: The skills couples need to keep intimacy alive in a long-term relationship differ from new relationship intimacy skills, and they're not obvious because people don't talk about them. Most couples need to lower their expectations of romance and glamour and raise the ...
Views: 656(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on: Staying Strong in Crisis - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2020 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: As I write this, we have all been asked to shelter in place, staying home as much as possible, because of the pandemic. This puts pressure on both individuals, who may be very alone now, and couples, who may be struggling with needing alone time and space. Everyone is ...
Views: 579(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on: The Power of Politeness - by Submitted on Apr 18, 2016 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Politeness and sensitivity are not held in high esteem in the media these days. The nastiest politicians get the most air time. Many media spokespeople, stars and commentators, “gangsta” rappers, nasty radio talk show stars and “edgy” comedians; as well as personalities ...
Views: 1633(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on: Why does my partner insist on being right? - by Submitted on Apr 17, 2021 from Tina TessinaWhen your partner refuses to help solve the problem, you have no choice but to focus on your own need until you get cooperation. As long as you offer every opportunity to cooperate and you extend an invitation to your partner to join you whenever he or she wishes, you are free to focus your ...
Views: 567(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on: Without Ego - by Submitted on Jan 05, 2018 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: When reading philosophical teachings and writings, I often wonder why the body and the ego are seen so negatively, as if they somehow are antithetical to spirituality. Although ego, body and mind are not all we are, each is part, an ...
Views: 1220(1 vote) - Dr. Romance says: "Lighten Up - Cures for Marital Boredom" - by Submitted on Jun 25, 2019 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: The old folk songs say it: Oh, love is handsome, love is fineLove is a jewel when it is new; But when love's old, it waxes coldAnd fades away, like morning dew. Folk wisdom says it: If newlyweds put a penny in a jar for every time they make love in the first year, and ...
Views: 798(1 vote) - Dr. Romance Video: 5 Tips to Move on Emotionally after Divorce - by Submitted on Aug 20, 2012 from Tina Tessina(To view the video, go here: http://youtu.be/98RZAsK9c6c) Going through a divorce is devastating. You not only lose the marriage and break up your family; you also lose all the hopes and dreams you had for happiness here. Dr. Romance helps you to pick yourself up from the rubble and move on ...
Views: 3312(1 vote) - Dr. Romance Video: Creating a Blended Family When You Have a New Wife - by Submitted on Feb 20, 2012 from Tina Tessina(View my YouTube video on this topic here: http://youtu.be/hB-SuKLvJlk.) Dr. Romance's 4 tips to smoother step-parenting: 1. Give your blended family a chance to bond. Don’t worry if everyone doesn’t settle in right away; bonding takes time. Hopefully, you all got to know each other ...
Views: 2683(1 vote) - Dr. Romance Video: Dating after Widowhood - by Submitted on Apr 08, 2013 from Tina TessinaTo view the video, click here. Dr. Romance's 3 Tips for Finding New Love For a while after a relationship ends, you may not feel like considering a new relationship, which is probably good. Jumping right from one relationship to another usually doesn't work. A relationship that ...
Views: 1593(1 vote) - Dr. Romance Video: Dr. Romance on How to Be a Loving Couple when You Have Kids - by Submitted on Mar 11, 2019 from Tina TessinaIf video doesn't load, click here Parenthood is an overwhelming job. Kids, especially babies, seem to need you there constantly. It's very easy for parents to get so into the role that they lose sight of the couple relationship they used to have. "Dr. Romance" shows ...
Views: 1002(1 vote) - Dr. Romance Video: How to be Civil to an Ex-Husband - by Submitted on Apr 16, 2012 from Tina Tessina[View the video here: http://youtu.be/1DM_RHzOBEk] The divorce was ugly, he was a jerk, but you still need to have contact with him because of your kids or finances. You hate to have to deal with him, but you have to. What can you do to make it better for yourself and your kids? Tina B. ...
Views: 1871(1 vote) - Dr. Romance Video: How to Deal with Partying Roommates - by Submitted on Apr 02, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: [My roommates] are loud, they're drunk, they keep me up or wake me up at night. What can I do? Dr. Romance Responds: The best way to have a good roommate situation is to talk about your arrangements in advance, including writing them down so they're clear. It's important ...
Views: 1666(1 vote) - Dr. Romance Video: Infidelity -- Stay or Go? - by Submitted on Jul 23, 2012 from Tina TessinaIf video doesn't load, click here. Discovering your partner has been unfaithful is a shock. Your first instinct may be to run, but if you have a shared history, children and finances, you may wonder – should you stay or go? Dr. Romance shows you how to decide. When you get ...
Views: 2473(1 vote) - Dr. Romance writes: Should you stay in your marriage? - by Submitted on Dec 10, 2019 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Should you stay in your marriage? Marriage can be frustrating and disappointing, especially if you don't have the skills to fix it. But giving in to the frustration and leaving may turn out to be the worst thing you ever did. Consider these reasons to stay: 1. You ...
Views: 815(1 vote) - Dr. Romance's Guidelines for A Great First Date - by Submitted on Aug 20, 2018 from Tina TessinaGoing on the first few dates with a new person can be nerve-wracking. These Dr. Romance guidelines can help you be safe, find out the important things you need to know, and have fun. *Safety First – Before you go on this date, make sure you have thought about who will be in ...
Views: 896(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: "Don't Call Your Ex!" - by Submitted on Nov 28, 2018 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance "Don't Call Your Ex" Dr. Romance’s How to handle being dumped DO put it in perspective If you're dumped, it hurts, but count your lucky stars. You don’t have a relationship if the other person's not really interested. DO understand that there were problems already ...
Views: 1877(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: "Don't Panic" - by Submitted on Jun 21, 2018 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: There is always something in the news or on TV to scare us. Hysterical articles in the media sell papers, and attract eyeballs to websites, but are usually exaggerating the facts. If you listen without evaluating what you’re being told, it’s easy to become ...
Views: 997(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: "How to Deal with a Partner's Annoying Quirks" - by Submitted on Aug 20, 2019 from Tina TessinaMany guys, especially younger ones, are well known for having 'courting behavior' and then relaxing into their old, slobby selves once you're committed. It's not that men are from Mars, women from Venus - it's more like all of us have grown up on different planets. Couples can get caught up in ...
Views: 810(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: 16 things to consider before moving in together or making financial commitments: - by Submitted on Jul 22, 2020 from Tina TessinaMoving in together is a financial commitment, and so is marriage, so it’s important to consider the tough issues you’ll face as a cohabiting or married couple. Dr. Romance's Financial Questions to Ask Before Marriage or Moving in Together The family you grew up in shapes an ...
Views: 829(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: 3 Ways to Ruin Your Relationship - by Submitted on Apr 09, 2020 from Tina TessinaEspecially during trying times like isolation, relationships can be devastated by simple, thoughtless things. Bad behavior will ruin your marriage faster than any temptation from the outside. Dr. Romance points out the worst mistakes to make in a marriage. Dr. Romance's 3 ways to ...
Views: 738(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: 4 Tips for handling Post-holiday blues - by Submitted on Jan 18, 2018 from Tina TessinaDr Romance writes: Everyone is relieved when the holidays are over, and sometimes disappointed. If you're worn out, it's worth your while to take the time to recharge a little, and pamper yourself. Here are some hints: * If you are disappointed, and the holidays let you down in some way, ...
Views: 954(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: 5 tips to moving on emotionally after divorce - by Submitted on Mar 11, 2020 from Tina TessinaGoing through a divorce is devastating. You not only lose the marriage and break up your family; you also lose all the hopes and dreams you had for happiness here. Dr. Romance helps you to pick yourself up from the rubble and move on emotionally. Dr Romance's 5 tips to moving on ...
Views: 837(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: Creating a Blended Family When You Have a New Partner - by Submitted on Dec 10, 2019 from Tina TessinaOnce you have gone through the wrenching experience of loss or divorce, it's not easy to pick up the pieces and find a new love. If you have children, they have been through a lot of upset, also. So when you do find a new love and want to create a blended family in a new way, these ...
Views: 1078(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: Dating Advice Every Single Parent Should Know - by Submitted on Aug 27, 2020 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance asks: Are you a single parent? Wondering whether you're too old to be back on the market? Well, wonder no more. Here are guidelines to help you date safely and successfully Parental Dating Guidelines • Make sure you know a lot about any new person before ...
Views: 943(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: Dating after Widowhood - by Submitted on Nov 17, 2020 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance's 3 Tips for Finding New Love For a while after a relationship ends, you may not feel like considering a new relationship, which is probably good. Jumping right from one relationship to another usually doesn't work. A relationship that follows too quickly is called a ...
Views: 685(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: Detox Your Life - by Submitted on Aug 02, 2018 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Many of my clients come in with complaints about personal habits that feel toxic in their lives. Just as you can detox your body when you’re feeling sluggish, it’s also possible to detox your emotional life. Here are some of the most common ways your life can ...
Views: 1103(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: Four Steps to Success - by Submitted on May 03, 2011 from Tina TessinaIn my private counseling practice, writes Dr. Romance, clients often tell me, “I want to be happy!” We then set about making it a reality. As a psychotherapist, I know that Your habits, your relationships, your environment, and especially what you think about them determine more about how ...
Views: 1722(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: Four Steps to Success - by Submitted on May 29, 2018 from Tina TessinaIn my private counseling practice, writes Dr. Romance, clients often tell me, “I want to be happy!” We then set about making it a reality. As a psychotherapist, I know that your habits, your relationships, your environment, and especially what you think about them determine ...
Views: 896(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: Got a Tough Ex? - by Submitted on Jan 06, 2014 from Tina TessinaRelationships: Three Tips to Dealing with a Really Difficult Ex-Spouse Dr. Romance’s three tips to dealing with a difficult ex. 1. Choose your battles. One of my clients once said “I don’t want to die on that hill.” She meant: that battle isn’t worth what it will cost me – I’ll ignore ...
Views: 1826(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: Guidelines for Co-Parenting after divorce - by Submitted on Feb 11, 2020 from Tina TessinaNo matter how angry or hurt you may be after a divorce, if you have children, you’ll still share a lifetime with their other parent, your ex. Dr. Romance offers guidelines for moving past the anger and hurt, and finding a way to co-parent your children that is good for ...
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