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Articles from Tina Tessina | Selfgrowth.com
- Dr. Romance : Do men have biological clocks? - by Submitted on Aug 07, 2020 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance on men and biological clocks: Yes, a man can feel the need to grow up and have a family, especially when he finds a woman who inspires those feelings in him. The problem is, how can you be sure the match is a good one? You’d think the positive signs in a date would be ...
Views: 733(1 vote) - Dr. Romance Comments on The College Admission Scandal Involving Lori Loughlin and Her Husband Mossimo Giannulli - by Submitted on Mar 15, 2019 from Tina TessinaHow can you make sure your marriage doesn't fall apart when you find yourself involved in a major scandal or other disaster? First things first, don’t blame each other. When we’re under attack it’s easy to panic, and panic can lead to fighting. Stay as calm as you can, and remain a team. ...
Views: 902(1 vote) - Dr. Romance Happiness Tip: 11 Things Married Women Want - by Submitted on Sep 15, 2020 from Tina TessinaFor you men who ask, "What Do Women Want?" Here are Dr. Romance's 10 Things Married Women Want: Women value intimacy, safety for themselves and their children, and emotional connection. Therefore, they long for the following qualities in a man: 1. Good Judgment Good ...
Views: 696(1 vote) - Dr. Romance Happiness Tip: A Year of Peace - by Submitted on Jan 03, 2020 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Happy New Year, everyone! This is the time when a lot of energy is spent on making resolutions, most of which we don’t manage to keep. So, this year, especially given recent tragic events, I propose a different kind of resolution. Will you join me in resolving ...
Views: 581(1 vote) - Dr. Romance Happiness Tip: Comforting the Little Orphan Girl - by Submitted on Oct 09, 2017 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: When life hands me a very difficult time, and I feel defeated and overwhelmed, I enter a hopeless and helpless state of mind I think of as The Little Orphan girl. This is the way I felt, as a teen, when I lost nearly my whole family, father, aunts and uncles, between the ...
Views: 1592(1 vote) - Dr. Romance Happiness Tip: Creating Connections: Draw Them In - by Submitted on Aug 30, 2012 from Tina TessinaMany years ago an Edwin Markham poem inspired me, and I’ve tried to live by it: "Outwitted" He drew a circle that shut me out —Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.But Love and I had the wit to win:We drew a circle that took him in! As Markham says, we could see people who are distant or ...
Views: 3145(1 vote) - Dr. Romance Happiness Tip: Creating Connections: Draw Them In - by Submitted on Jul 23, 2019 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Many years ago, an Edwin Markham poem inspired me, and I’ve tried to live by it: Outwitted He drew a circle that shut me out —Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.But Love and I had the wit to win:We drew a circle that took him in! As Markham says, we could see people ...
Views: 760(1 vote) - Dr. Romance Happiness Tip: Creating Family Acceptance - by Submitted on Aug 27, 2020 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Lately, I’ve gotten so many anguished questions from people who are being criticized and rejected by family for making relationship or career choices the families don’t like, usually for cultural or religious reasons, that I changed my mind about what I was going to write ...
Views: 607(1 vote) - Dr. Romance Happiness Tip: Gentle Persistence - by Submitted on May 28, 2019 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Have you noticed that nagging, whining, complaining, sternly directing, yelling, criticizing and freaking out don’t seem to get you what you want from a partner, family member, friend, colleague or child? In a previous article, “Asking for What You Want” I explained how ...
Views: 858(1 vote) - Dr. Romance Happiness Tip: Give Yourself a Gift - by Submitted on Dec 27, 2019 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Want to give yourself a holiday gift that will last the rest of your life? Try giving yourself the gift of happiness. Research shows that happiness and satisfaction depend more on the inner person than on external circumstances. The secret to living a happy life is to get ...
Views: 636(1 vote) - Dr. Romance Happiness Tip: How Not to Fight - by Submitted on Nov 30, 2017 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Myths and Expectations about Fighting: There are many myths and expectations about fighting in marriage. Couples come into my office frequently believing that fighting is a necessary part of being a couple; that all married couples fight; and it’s a normal part of ...
Views: 1277(1 vote) - Dr. Romance Happiness Tip: New Year's Resolution: Letting Go of Anxiety - by Submitted on Jan 04, 2018 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance asks: What is the best New Year's resolution you can make for your happiness? To let go of Anxiety. These days, it seems that there’s one disaster after another. Not only do we have do deal with an angry Mother Nature, but all sorts of fanatics and psychopaths are on the ...
Views: 1106(1 vote) - Dr. Romance Happiness Tip: The Magic of Reassurance - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2012 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: There are a few simple communication techniques that work like magic in relationships, whether with committed partners, friends, co-workers or relatives. One of the most effective is reassurance, which is simple to do , and calms both of you down, which allows your ...
Views: 1998(1 vote) - Dr. Romance Happiness Tip: What Is A Dysfunctional Relationship? - by Submitted on Nov 16, 2017 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Unless you're completely out of touch with any media, written, audio or video, you have been bombarded with words like "dysfunctional relationship", "codependency" and "toxic family system". You may have noticed that there's a lot of information available about these ...
Views: 1239(1 vote) - Dr. Romance Happiness Tip: Your Inner Mentor Can Create New Meaning - by Submitted on Nov 27, 2012 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Sooner or later all of us question the meaning of life. The sooner we get to it, the better chance we have of finding a satisfactory answer. As a therapist I watch many of my clients pass through stages of personal growth. Once they work through the issues that have held ...
Views: 1898(1 vote) - Dr. Romance Happiness Tip: Your Inner Mentor Can Create New Meaning - by Submitted on May 21, 2020 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Sooner or later all of us question the meaning of life. The sooner we get to it, the better chance we have of finding a satisfactory answer. If you're at home alone, due to the pandemic, this is a great time to learn introspection, the awareness of self. As a ...
Views: 830(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Anger: Cleansing Squall or Hurricane? - by Submitted on Apr 06, 2011 from Tina TessinaAnger is the emotional energy within each of us that rises up when something needs to change. If you act on the need to create change, your anger can be channeled effectively; but it’s not redirected to something effective, your frustration will build, sometimes to hurricane force. Anger ...
Views: 1237(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Anger: Cleansing Squall or Hurricane? - by Submitted on Mar 30, 2018 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Many people who come to me for therapy have trouble with anger. It may be trouble in expressing anger effectively, losing control with their anger, or becoming the victim of someone else's abuse. Understanding how anger works and what it really is can help you manage ...
Views: 1054(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Asking for What you Want - by Submitted on Sep 20, 2017 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: In my counseling office, I see a lot of damaged relationships because people don’t know how to ask for what they want, or don’t think it’s OK. Whether it's your couple relationship, family connections, friends or work colleagues, not asking for what you want means you’ll ...
Views: 1061(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Careers in Psychology - by Submitted on Jun 04, 2020 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance is delighted to be interviewed on Careers In Psychology Dr. Tina Tessina PsychoTherapist / PhD LMFT The best therapists often refer to their career as a calling, a natural talent that was laying in wait until their clients, friends and families managed to bring it ...
Views: 1024(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Creating Holiday Magic - by Submitted on Dec 05, 2017 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Recently, as we were eating in an Italian restaurant, the music being played transported me back to holidays with my Italian/American family. Traditional, sentimental Italian songs were such a large part of our gatherings for the holidays. After a huge, slow, multi-course ...
Views: 1238(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Creating Peace - by Submitted on Dec 31, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr . Romance wishes you a Happy New Year, everyone! This is the time when a lot of energy is spent on making resolutions, most of which we don’t manage to keep. So, in the face of all the violence we have experienced this year, I would like to propose a different kind of resolution. Will ...
Views: 1290(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Creating Unconditional Love - by Submitted on Feb 01, 2019 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Love, commitment and relationships seem to be in disfavor these days. I'm seeing a lot of articles and TV shows saying love doesn't last, so why bother. No matter what the media is saying, I believe that all of us want to be loved, and I know from experience that a ...
Views: 790(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Dating after Loss - by Submitted on Jun 19, 2020 from Tina TessinaGrief is an essential life skill -- knowing how to survive grief means feeling safe to take another risk, and grieving actually expands one's capacity to love.Expression of grief, and respect for the dead, is very important to the grieving process. A symbol of grief for the loss of one ...
Views: 1043(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Dating as a Single Parent - by Submitted on Feb 26, 2021 from Tina TessinaAs a single parent, you probably have so little free time that dating seems an impossible task. Yet, single parents are dating in unprecedented numbers, so if you’re looking for another “head of household” to date, you can find one. As a responsible parent, you’ll want to be very cautious about ...
Views: 872(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Dating: The Fine Art of "Squirrel Hunting" - by Submitted on Sep 11, 2018 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: The most frequent problem I hear from single clients is that of how and where to search for a partner. Other clients are searching for friends. Many of them have been searching for a long time, without success; others have been afraid to go out and search at all. Most ...
Views: 1018(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on dealing with disappointment - by Submitted on Nov 26, 2018 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: OK, so you're disappointed. Your dream has ended in the trash. So, after you get finished with laying on the floor, kicking your heels, and screaming; or going on a drunken binge, or beating someone up, you find you're still disappointed, and all ...
Views: 1040(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Dealing with Disappointment or failure - by Submitted on Jan 08, 2021 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: OK, so you're disappointed. Your dream has ended in the trash. So, after you get finished with laying on the floor, kicking your heels, and screaming; or going on a drunken binge, or beating someone up, you find you're still disappointed, and all that acting out ...
Views: 466(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Emotional Hygiene - by Submitted on Jul 09, 2019 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Life is frequently not easy, and we often encounter problems and difficulties that require us to pay attention to our own feelings. Relationships, whether with family, spouses and partners, friends or even colleagues, can create emotional fallout that we need to take care ...
Views: 730(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Finding Love During Quarantine - by Submitted on Mar 10, 2021 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Normally, I recommend getting face to face as soon as possible, because you get so many clues, including pheromones, that you don’t get over phone, texting, email or video. However, these are not normal times, and we’re sheltering in place, so face to face is out, unless you ...
Views: 765(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Friends in Need: Interventions for Domestic Violence - by Submitted on Sep 23, 2013 from Tina TessinaLast month, Dr. Romance received the following letter from a reader: “A topic I would like you to cover/explore is that curious phenomenon which permits otherwise independent women to be dominated...even abused...by males with whom they share some sort or relationship. Why is it that a ...
Views: 1573(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Getting Out of Your Own Way - by Submitted on Jul 17, 2016 from Tina TessinaRecently, Dr. Romance has been asked a lot about how people can overcome paralysis and self-sabotage, so I thought I’d pass on my ideas on the subject. Getting in your own way is all about how you relate your yourself. In addition to not managing your time effectively, ...
Views: 1096(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Giving Thanks - by Submitted on Nov 30, 2018 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance wishes you a Happy Thanksgiving! A lot of people aren’t very good at looking at the positive. I hear a lot of negativity, blaming and complaining daily in my counseling office, and I find the more negative people are, the worse their lives work. Talking about how bad it all is seems ...
Views: 1067(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Gratitude, Kindness and Happiness - by Submitted on Dec 08, 2020 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Happy Thanksgiving! The founding fathers of our country saw the “pursuit of happiness” as an inalienable right – so important they embedded it in the DNA of the United States of America, by writing it into the Preamble to the Constitution. It was a profoundly new idea ...
Views: 507(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Grief: From Surviving to Thriving - by Submitted on Aug 24, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance has had many clients who are grieving, and wrote this to help. None of us wants to think about it, but the standard definition of a totally successful relationship is the old, traditional "til death do us part." Any time we love, whether it’s a life partner, a dear ...
Views: 1363(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Grief: From Surviving to Thriving - by Submitted on Sep 05, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance has had many clients who are grieving, and wrote this to help. None of us wants to think about it, but the standard definition of a totally successful relationship is the old, traditional "til death do us part." Any time we love, whether it’s a life partner, a dear ...
Views: 1341(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Guidelines for Relating with Love - by Submitted on Mar 27, 2020 from Tina TessinaIf you're lucky enough to be living with someone else while you're isolating to avoid this virus, you may be having some difficulty with being alone together for more time than you're used to. The following guidelines will help you get along better and perhaps even improve your ...
Views: 723(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Handling The Green-eyed Monster - by Submitted on Sep 26, 2017 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance says: I can’t escape it, it’s in the news every day, and it fills my counseling office. Recently, the news told of a four-year-old who was shot to death by his own father, because the father was jealous of his divorced wife’s new relationship. "O, beware... of jealousy; ...
Views: 1198(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Handling The Green-eyed Monster - by Submitted on Dec 13, 2018 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance says: I can’t escape it, it’s in the news every day, and it fills my counseling office. Recently, the news told of a four-year-old who was shot to death by his own father, because the father was jealous of his divorced wife’s new relationship. "O, beware... of jealousy; ...
Views: 992(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on How Can You Improve Your Sex Life In Marriage? - by Submitted on Jul 10, 2020 from Tina TessinaAfter years together, is there a lack of sex in your marriage? Is this negatively impacting your relationship? Have no fear -- it is easy to reboot your sex life at any age. I recommend that couples follow five easy steps to get things going again: First of all, you have to find out what’s going ...
Views: 710(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on how Couples Can Cooperate for Success - by Submitted on Jun 11, 2018 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: You have probably entered relationships madly in love, convinced that your feelings for each other were so strong your dream would carry you through the tough times, but wound up feeling more like you were living in a nightmare than a dream, struggling with conflicting ...
Views: 887(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on How Not to be Shy at a Party - by Submitted on Jan 02, 2019 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Happy New Year! Are you dreading all the social occasions this time of year? If you're an introvert, you can enjoy parties, too, when you learn to respect who you are and don’t let negative fantasies take over. Limit your social engagements to those that ...
Views: 923(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on how to keep your marriage safe from infidelity - by Submitted on Dec 10, 2019 from Tina TessinaInfidelity can be devastating to a marriage. While couples can recover, it is far better to never have cheating in the first place. Here's how to "cheat-proof" your marriage, and head off problems before they begin. Dr. Romance on how to keep your marriage safe from ...
Views: 885(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on How to Stretch Time - by Submitted on Aug 18, 2016 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Would you like to stretch time – to make the time you have go farther, and use it more for what you really want to do? Stretching time is not difficult if you have the prerequisites: self-awareness, a sense of purpose, thoughtful action, and a playful ...
Views: 1547(1 vote) - Dr. Romance On Infidelity -- Stay or Go? - by Submitted on Jan 14, 2019 from Tina TessinaDiscovering your partner has been unfaithful is a shock. Your first instinct may be to run, but if you have a shared history, children and finances, you may wonder – should you stay or go? Dr. Romance shows you how to decide. When you get the devastating news that your spouse has had an ...
Views: 952(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Jealousy, Faithfulness and Distance - by Submitted on Jun 07, 2011 from Tina TessinaSo many couples are now separated part-or full-time because of military deployment and/or work travel and schedules, I get a lot of questions about faithfulness. Your marriage vows may have said, "'til death do us part" but no one said anything about what happens when a military career or ...
Views: 1889(2 votes) - Dr. Romance on Learning Forgiveness - by Submitted on Sep 20, 2017 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance on Learning Forgiveness Dr. Romance writes: Learning to forgive those who hurt us is an essential life skill, because it helps develop inner maturity, frees us from emotional bondage to the other person, and helps us develop the ...
Views: 1799(2 votes) - Dr. Romance on Relationships 101: Do Opposites Attract? - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2021 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: It seems logical that like would attract like, but in my private practice as a marriage counselor and psychotherapist, I often see people drawn to their opposite ‑‑ because it's new and exciting. However, what’s exciting in the newness of romance often becomes unbearable ...
Views: 629(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Resolving Inner Anarchy - by Submitted on Sep 26, 2017 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Recent events have me thinking about political anarchy: riots, bombings, civil wars, threats, and other bad and dangerous behavior around the world. Politically, anarchy means obeying no laws. It’s frightening to watch a mob take over. Anarchy is the result of two things: ...
Views: 1670(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Setting Boundaries and Saying No - by Submitted on Mar 15, 2018 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Knowing how to set appropriate boundaries can make the difference in whether your relationship succeeds or not. The topic frequently comes up in my counseling office, and most people think boundaries are set by telling other people what the limits are. But boundaries are ...
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