There’s a contrast in the idea that you have to work at allowing yourself to be open to receive what you desire. Without meaning to, you block or delay receiving if you “work” at allowing it.

A reader of my article, “The Give and Receive Confusion,” contacted me to say how much she resonated with the message and that she was working on allowing herself to receive. I’m grateful she contacted me because it inspired me to revisit this.

You may think allowing yourself to be open to receive is about getting the desired outcome, but it is, in reality, more about how you explore and expand your Self Awareness and Attention through the dynamics or process of what it means to be open to receive—which can be either a smaller or larger “conversation” you have at the inner (and outer) level.

Let’s look at an example. Let’s say you have a particular expense you need to take care of and the money, anticipated or not, comes in (or is in your account) to help you meet it. There may be more than the two ways you can feel about this than will be considered here—but, how you feel is absolutely important to the experience before, during, and after.

One way might be to think, “Isn’t this just how it always seems to happen? Look at this money that came to me. I could really use it in so many ways—I could be ahead for once; but instead, I have to give it over to this expense. And then I’ll be back where I started or even behind. I can’t catch a break when it comes to money. As fast as it comes in, it goes out.”

Another way might be, “How perfect that I received what I needed when I needed it to take care of this! And, if it happened this time, it can happen again and again—after all, it really has happened before. I love how I feel about this. It definitely feels like my need was anticipated, (maybe) even before the need showed up; and, I’m able to meet it, even though for a while, I wondered how I’d be able to. It comes in so it can go out, which is the point of energy exchange, the give-and-receive circulation. It allows me to express appreciation for products and services. It even allows me to express appreciation that I appreciate this. And the more I appreciate, the more I receive to appreciate.”

If you notice you work on allowing yourself to receive—either in specific instances or nearly all the time, you want to put your attention on why you doubt this. If you’re open to allowing yourself to receive what’s in your best interest, you know it (best interest means whatever helps you grow and expand your attention and awareness, and supports self-empowerment in all areas of your life—received in its right time). If you feel a need to work at it, another conversation is going on and you want to listen in.

Effortless allowing walks hand in hand with genuine appreciation—and here’s the “tricky” part—for everything that comes to you. Such appreciation comes from a deeper understanding that a “bigger tapestry” is being woven all the time, and it’s never just about particular “threads.” Know that if you haven’t been living this all along, it’s beneficial if you allow this to open in your life in right timing, usually aligned with how and when you integrate this, and may be a step-by-step process instead of an “instant” flip. Small improvements are powerful. You learned the alphabet and small words first; then expanded your ability to read and use language to your advantage. The more you read, the better you get at it.

If you feel blocked or challenged about allowing yourself to receive, you are engaging a level of poverty consciousness. This may or may not be obvious to you; but it is a form of anti-prosperity thinking. And, it’s not just about your bank account; it likely touches more than one, if not every area of your life to some degree. This includes how you perceive yourself, others, and your life experiences. And, you may not have money issues, but block receiving your good in other areas of your life.

If you don’t feel enriched in a particular area of your life, you know it’s because you “affirm” that you aren’t, which creates more of the same. And, each experience brought about through this feeling-thinking asks for you to feel and think what WILL allow desired results. If you by-pass the programmed habit to self-judge, you can move forward faster.

Allowing yourself to receive is meant to be as natural as breathing—done without effort, without reminding yourself to inhale and exhale. What messes with this is all those limiting beliefs heaped on us and that we hold onto. This is influenced by outside opinions that say our lives have to look a certain way or we’re failures. That’s a “store” you might want to stop shopping in.

What if the way to remind yourself of the truth of your true inner power is a matter of putting your attention on what does and doesn’t support this truth? This means feelings, thoughts, beliefs, actions, and particularly self-talk and even what you say to others. Our “struggles” are more often caused by our doing what doesn’t work rather than doing what does. We may even feel too busy or frustrated to pause and look at this.

We also feel a contrast with being one with allowing ourselves to receive because of the “work hard” model vs. the “live on purpose” model. We carry this “work hard” mentality into everything we do—you have to work hard to succeed in business, finances, relationships, and the like. And, this is in direct contrast to a desire and even an inner knowing that being in flow and following inspirations is where the experiences and the joy we desire occur—in the way we know they can. There is a difference in taking actions that work and being aligned with and passionate about this vs. what we typically assume working hard means—it usually means we do a lot of busywork and worrying rather than what produces desired results and experiences.

Another contrast is that even if we’ve experienced that not everything we ask for is in our best interest or aligned with our life purpose, there is a philosophy that says if we do “this thing,” we can have everything we ask for—that if we don’t have everything we ask for, we’re not doing what we’re supposed to. Maybe what’s “wrong” is our believing the last part of that philosophy—that we’re supposed to be able to have/create/manifest everything we ask for—rather than questioning whether or not it strengthens our ability to connect with our inner power or makes us feel disconnected, less, or lacking. This causes you to try to measure up to expectations of others rather than attune to and tune up why you’re here, which is for your own soul purpose. The threads weave the tapestry, but it’s about the tapestry.

The belief that you lack inner power—or use of it—causes you to believe there’s something you need—rather than allowing that you have what you need, but it’s likely buried under beliefs and self-doubt.

This conversation can be paralleled to losing weight by dieting (losing old beliefs rather focusing on better ones). You can either view it from the perspective of the harder challenges that usually go with this process—what stands in the way of your desired result (often about what you have to give up), or a matter of doing what works to help you feel healthy, strong, happy with yourself, and fulfilled. The typical approach causes you to focus on what you believe you have to lose rather than on what you desire to gain.

You can expand how you allow yourself to receive if you pay attention to when you do anything that’s opposite that natural state—and let go of your attachment to it. Awareness of this will do more to get you on track faster than most techniques.

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Author's Bio: 

Success = Better Questions to Get Better Answers. Is it time to learn how to more effortlessly have desired experiences in life and business? Let Reinvent Yourself: Refuse to Settle for Less in Life and Business coaching program or e-book show you how. You Are More! Empowerment Coach Joyce Shafer, author of I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say ( Details about the program, her books and e-books, and current free weekly newsletter at