The Keys to Creating Positive Change

In my view, writing is the best way to get thoughts across to others because people tend to drift off into their own thoughts during a conversation, thinking about what to say next or remembering a time when, or thinking about how quickly they can get out of the conversation and that can produce misunderstandings and distortions that the written word can side step to a degree.

I had a supervisor when I worked with teenagers in care that never heard anything after the first few words that were spoken to him. He was already sure of what would be said next and was virtually deaf after that as he went inside to some alternate reality that barely touched upon the one that he supposedly shared with his staff and clients.

It is futile to think that anyone or everyone will read and relate to our words as they were written and meant, one hundred percent of the time, as everyone translates as they read and filters for their own particular viewpoint, whether in agreement or against what is written.

The risk inherent in writing is always there and it stopped me for years, as I had a phobic level fear of being criticized. In school I avoided writing as much as I could, which got me in trouble with my teachers on a regular basis, but I preferred that to being exposed on the page, naked for all to leer at and to be seen to be so shallow and incompetent. I don’t know if I truly thought those words, however looking back they cover the experience exactly as I it felt then.

Writing is a solo sport for most of us, although there are at times, manuscript partnerships and groups of writers for scripts and plays, however, for the most part, writing is done alone and like any thing that is done alone and for the author, it takes things like dead lines or self discipline to produce marks on a page with any regularity.

One of the qualities of character that I lack in astonishing amounts is self discipline, and the sad ability to accomplish any task or commitment I make to someone, indeed anyone else, before, or instead of keeping my word to myself. My current commitment to myself is to write approximately one thousand words a day, every day and it is a challenge for me at the moment.

Before you dissolve into tears for my weakened condition, please realize that this is for the most part in the past, as you can see that I have written extensively so far on this issue of not writing. I am only putting you through this to demonstrate that change can happen, and that we humans can change in major ways and degrees. There are several keys to change in any area and even though circumstances are infinite and varied in our lives, the ways we have to deal with them are very few.

Some of the ways we deal with circumstances in our lives are avoidance, denial, resistance, overwhelm and surrender. None of these techniques have produced great results for me no matter how hard I have applied them in my life, as they tend to inflate or inflame the issues rather than resolve them.

There are, I have discovered, some little known (to me) methods of dealing with life’s ups and downs that do have positive results, which I mention here as ‘Keys to Success in All Facets of Life.’

These Keys, not necessarily in order of importance, are Paying Attention, Action, Vision, Acceptance (as opposed to surrender) Planning, Passion, by which I mean recognizing and directing positive energy towards the parts of life that we are most engaged by, and Compassion, which to me is thinking with your heart rather than your head.

Paying Attention is very important since most of us are triggered by a variety of sounds, words, tones, inflections and facial and body signals into a trance that removes us from being present with whatever is really going on in and around us.

A negative form of paying attention is ‘body checking’ which is an internal scan for symptoms that is sure to find something and the chronically ill are masters of.

Paying Attention is a state in which the mind is open to gathering information rather than engaged in processing it. In the Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle describes this state far more clearly than I could, so if you haven’t read his book I recommend it.

Vision is the ability to dream, to see a future that has value and is exciting enough to plan for. Without a vital energizing future in mind we end up doing whatever is in front of us and that is usually someone else’s dream. One of the human characteristics that other creatures lack is the ability to envision the future and it is a gift that is often left unwrapped or used in a negative way by imagining disastrous outcomes or failures.

Which is why Passion is important as a key to change. Most of us have been raised in environments that are filled with negativity, with die warnings to ‘Look Out!” You’ll fall!
or worse yet, ‘You’ll Fail!’ as well as such gems as ‘who do you think you are?’ and ‘money doesn’t grow on trees you know’ which become mantas in our daily hypnotic states.

Getting in touch with a positive passion for something in your life, creating a vision which includes taking baby steps towards building the experience of it and expanding that experience will bring positive change that can be held and built upon.

Planning and Action are twins, they work best together and are the catalysts of concrete and ongoing change in your life. Planning is an action and when aligned with a passionate vision will break the achievement of the dream into doable steps or parts. These parts become actions that are done on a regular basis and it is these small steps that make the dream a reality.

The last Key that I mentioned earlier, is Compassion, which made a huge difference for me a few years ago. I decided to be more compassionate to myself and I made a commitment to catch myself when I was berating myself and gently, not harshly, edit that thought and to choose a more loving and accepting thought that might help me feel more worthy and acceptable. As these thoughts began to become more frequent in my mind regarding myself, they became more frequent regarding the people around me and I began to receive grateful comments and positive feedback on my loving and heartfelt nature.

These are not the only keys to change and you can easily come up with more, however this is a very good start if you want to initiate positive change in any area of your life, no matter what the area or circumstance you desire to change.