Why Women Worry- The psychological dynamics that steal away emotional security
By Dwight Bain, Nationally Certified Counselor & Certified Life Coach
Women worry about many different topics, from men to body image to relationships to their mother's approval or if they will be financially secure to provide for their kids. Little girls worry- their moms worry and grandmothers worry... it's universal and touches every group on the planet- but women often worry far more than the men around them realize. No matter what she may be worried about the same psychological drive is usually fueling this stressful emotion. I believe the real source behind the worry most women feel is control.
Not control in the sense of being a manipulative monster, (like Jane Fonda's character in the film "Monster-in-Law"), rather it's the need to know what's happening around her so she can feel empowered, safe and in control of her emotions and environment. Think of it this way.
The Worry Formula
When control goes up, worry goes down because the more a woman can understand the more she will automatically feel a sense of security and confidence inside. However, as a situation begins to feel out of control, worry dramatically increases, leading to more serious conditions like
- Social Phobia
- Stress disorders
- Major physical symptoms, (like migraine headaches)
- Generalized Anxiety Disorders or
- Panic Attacks
Women process information verbally which is why they need to talk through so many issues they are thinking about to feel comfortable. When a woman feels connected through communication she feels confident and alive, instead of overly concerned or afraid.
Listen instead of Lecture
Men would do well to figure out that they could make rapid improvement in their relationships with women simply by listening, instead of lecturing the women in their life. Many women aren't looking for a quick 'mr. fix-it' answer, they are looking for a safe place to sort through the things that are bugging her.
When a woman feels safe in the relationship, her worries fade and psychological energy can be spent on living life, instead of living in fear of what might happen next.
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About the author- Dwight Bain is dedicated to helping people achieve greater results. He is a Nationally Certified Counselor, Certified Life Coach and Certified Family Law Mediator in practice since 1984 with a primary focus on solving crisis events and managing major change. He is a member of the National Speakers Association and partners with media, major corporations and non-profit organizations to make a positive difference in our culture. Access over 150 counseling and coaching articles at http://www.LifeWorksGroup.org