Want to change how you feel right now? Ask yourself, "what can I do great today?" Think about it. What's the one great thing that you did today?
Perhaps it was some great insight that you got from meditating or a newsletter etc. Maybe you did something to help someone else. Did you contribute to someone else's well being? Whenever you contribute something from your heart and soul to someone else and it makes someone's life a little bit better, you end up doing something great and that impacts how you feel. I call that the "benefit cycle' ... quite the opposite of the "vicious cycle" which we all try to avoid.
After you've become aware of doing something great, you might begin to think "what else can I do today that is great?" That's the snowball effect of doing great things. You feel better because you have made a contribution to someone else's growth and well-being which, in turn, has a positive effect on you. Now, you are tapping into your creative mind and thinking about what other contributions could be great. The answer lies with you. It may be some creative endeavor. Perhaps it's just going outside and appreciating the wonders of the world and the universe. That's up to you. Use your imagination. Make it happen ...
Check back over your life and make a mental or written list of all the great things that you have done and accomplished. Perhaps you've built something fantastic or created a fabulous family and some wonderful offspring. Many of us have a tendency to review only the "bad" things that have happened to us. They overshadow the great things that we have done and it ends up detracting from our happiness. Give yourself some credit and watch your mood change for the better.
It's too easy to come down on yourself for your shortcomings and your failures. It's too easy to think that you could've done more and you're not adequate enough or good enough. Throw the "Shouldas, Couldas and Wouldas" in the trash. That's your internal critic talking. What about your internal contributor? Don't forget to make that list.
What did you do yesterday or last week when you did something great and maybe even contributed something to other people and the universe? Check it out and give yourself some credit for it. Stop knocking yourself. Drop the negativity. Begin telling yourself a NEW story. One that is different from the way that you have talked to yourself in the past. The world's a better place because YOU are in it. It's a better place because you have done some great things and tomorrow, the next day, you will do something great and acknowledge it.
YOU ARE YOU! Look at some of your mentors. You admire them because they made great contributions and did great things. You don't admire those people who have done terrible and questionable things. You admire your heroes because they have done something great. Become your own hero. Do something great right now, this very minute. You CAN do it.
DON'T sit idly by waiting for life to come to you. TAKE the initiative and DO something great right now. :)
Paul J. Hannig, Ph.D. LMFT is a licensed Marriage and Family therapist in private practice in Southern California. For over forty years, his goal has been to help his clients define who they are, overcome obstacles, deepen relationships, and evolve to the next stage of their lives in the most successful and productive way possible. For more information, visit his website at www.psychotherapyhelp.com.