"There are three ways of dealing with difference: domination, compromise, and integration. By domination only one side gets what it wants; by compromise neither side gets what it wants; by integration we find a way by which both sides may get what they wish..."
Mary Parker Follett
The above quote is an ideal reminder that there are multiple ways to deal with conflict. Is there a bias being displayed about the best way to resolve a conflict? Sure, in this instance the favored approach is integration.
What is integration? Let’s substitute the word collaboration in place of integration. Now we are talking about the collaborative mode of resolving conflict. This means that you work with the other party or parties to find a solution that completely satisfies the concerns of all. It means all of you really have to dig and discuss and be honest about what is or is not working for you. This may not be easy but it is definitely rewarding.
What about domination? After all the quote mentions and discards domination as an approach. Well in place of domination go head and insert the word competing. This is the conflict resolution mode where you pursue your concerns at the expense of others; you use power to win your position. This is not always wrong! There are definitely times when it is OK to tell your team how a conflict is going to be resolved. This is specifically true when your team needs to work within clear safety guidelines or follow non-negotiable standards, processes or policies. It is what is and there is no room for debate.
Compromising might mean that you and the other party or parties split the difference. Maybe you adopt part of your proposed solution and part of their proposed solution. The problem can be that this hybrid solution might not be the actual best solution. It might just be the solution that calms everyone down and keeps the peace (for now).
Remember, we all have our favorite go-to conflict resolution styles and there is a time and a place where each mode is needed. The key to YOUR success in resolving differences is knowing what style to use and when.
Margaret developed a passionate belief that it takes courage and skill to be human at work and that all individuals have a responsibility to treat each other with dignity, respect and compassion.
Motivated by her beliefs and the desire to make a difference in the lives of others, Margaret acted on her vision by founding Meloni Coaching Solutions, Inc. Her vision is to create a group of successful individuals who are at peace with their authentic selves; a group of people who help and support others; a group who bring humanity to the office and thrive because of it. Margaret sees a world where achieving peace and achieving success go hand-in-hand.
Margaret’s students and clients often find that what she really brings them is freedom to bring their authentic selves to the office. As a former Information Technology Executive, Margaret always knew her preference was for the people behind the technology. Now Margaret brings those beliefs to individuals from many professional backgrounds. The common thread across her client base is the desire to experience peace at work and the recognition that peace is not absence of conflict, peace is the ability to cope with conflict. For these people, Margaret Meloni is truly ‘A Path to Peace’. ™
You can learn more about Margaret and her courses, programs, and products at: www.MargaretMeloni.com
Additional Resources covering Conflict Resolution can be found at:
Website Directory for Conflict Resolution
Articles on Conflict Resolution
Products for Conflict Resolution
Discussion Board
Margaret Meloni, the Official Guide to Conflict Resolution