As I started on the process of life recovery, I felt that there was no one there who would really listen to me and actually hear me. Today I realise there are a few people who do listen to me and hear me; and this includes my wife and a few “skilled” others.
Listening is a learned skill that requires practise. I was fortunate that when I had the opportunity to do what it is vocationally that I really love, that I had to go back to school to upgrade my education. A large focus in both the lecture portion of my studies and the practicum was the art of deep listening.
I am fortunate that I have been blessed with some skilled listeners in my life. There are thousands out there who do not feel heard. Are you one of them?
I missed so much in my life by not being a great listener. Often I was thinking of a clever retort when others were talking. Today, I can listen deeply and hear what others are saying. It helps me with life in general, and also in the 12 step meetings I regularly attend. A quote that reminded me:
Listening
For weeks I sat in the back of the rooms, silent when others shared their experience, strength, and hope. I listened to their stories and found so many areas where we overlapped --
not all of the deeds, but the feelings of remorse and hopelessness.
I learned that alcoholism isn't a sin, it's a disease. That lifted the guilt I had felt.
I learned that I didn't have to stop drinking forever, but just not pick up that first drink one day, one hour at a time.
I could manage that.
- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 344
Thought to Ponder . . .Learn to listen; listen to learn.
Today I listen intently to people most of the time. I have learned to be in the moment and just “be” for others, and it is something I enjoy doing for my own benefit and for the benefits of others.
Need someone to truly listen? Contact me at khbray@hopeserenity.ca. We are trained to listen.
Keith Bray is a Certified Life Coach successfully coaching clients by phone.