Receiving an illness diagnosis is one of the most dreaded events in your life. It arrives uninvited, unwelcomed and most of the time unexpected. When receiving the news from your doctor aside from the phrase, “I’m sorry to tell you…”, you often notice a shift in the clinician’s energy, darkening the room like a cloud passing over the meeting. Shock is the most prevalent experience following the diagnosis, but once the shock melts away the most common experience is fear.
What is it that we fear? Most people when receiving a chronic or life-threatening illness diagnosis fear dying. The truth is that we all fear dying. You probably don’t believe me but stop and think for a moment about your death anxiety prior to the diagnosis. Do you have a will? Do you have life insurance? Do you have a healthcare proxy? This is about preparation which his great, but it’s based on fear that we’re going to die. The truth is that we are going to die; the hope is that it’s not very soon. If you can see that we all have death anxiety it makes battling fear easier.
Fear is rooted in the unknown. Although you may have friends or family who has experienced a health challenge; it’s very different experientially when it’s you who is the patient. The fact of the matter is that we don’t talk a lot about our mortality until someone dies. The idea that death exists is kept at arms length as if it were contagious. It’s natural to want to retreat following your diagnosis, but the best way to combat fear is by experiencing it and putting fear in its place.
Education is the primary component in the process of eradicating fear. The underpinnings of fear are based on lack of knowledge. Your first response to your diagnosis was most likely based on the stories you’ve heard from others and although some of them may be true, we all have created urban legends about our experiences, even when it comes to illness. Get educated! Don’t rely solely on the pamphlets in your doctor’s office or the advertisements found in most major magazines, rely on the community you now belong to based on your diagnosis. Find the national advocacy/education/support organization that serves your specific diagnosis. (Keep in mind that some organizations are umbrella organizations encompassing a vast continuum of illnesses)
What stories do you have in your head that correlate to illness? You already have meaning attached to illness before you’ve received your diagnosis. This is the time to throw the baby out with the bath water because there isn’t a template for illness. The stories you’ve been told or tell yourself feed the fire of fear. As time progresses so does technology, pharmaceutical research and increased efficacy of allied health professions. Your story doesn’t have to be a copy of those who have come before you. This is your journey to wellness and you get to be the author, editor and publisher. Utilize the information you acquire to enhance your story of health and healing. Use your education to edit out the horror stories and replace them with possible options and alternatives.
We’re a culture that is afraid of illness and yet overwhelmingly we don’t take precautions to ward of disease. Is it really a surprise at the number of people in Western culture who are diagnosed with an illness? The surprise is that it’s you and like most of us you thought you were immune to the diagnosis. Fear impedes your curiosity short circuiting your quest for possible solutions to your health challenge. Don’t let fear detour you away from your destination…health!
Greg Katz, MS, MFT, has spent the past twenty years serving as a Health Sherpa for those facing chronic and life-threatening illness. He is committed to increasing your Health Advocacy Quotient and feeling empowered on your journey to wellness. Get access to the special report "The 5 Pillars of Health and Healing" at www.survivingstrong.com.