Choosing Friends Wisely

When I was a child, my father would often say to me "Leyla, birds of a feather flock together"… I did not understand what he was saying to me… I was a child. As I grew older, and was in high school, he would say to me; "Leyla, you tell me who your friends are, and I'll tell you who you are."

I guess I was slow or something, because I still did not grasp what he was saying to me. I could not understand what he meant by telling me who I was, he was my father, so he should know who I was.

With this said, when I was younger, I did not choose very wisely who I hung out with. And while my parents tried to guide me in the right direction, I was lead astray simply by the people I hung out with.

This lead me to a life where I was thrust into an abusive marriage and a world of substance abuse.

For years, I suffered through poverty, and negativity. But still, I surrounded myself with individuals who were my "friends", yet they were going no where in a hurry.

When my husband completed suicide, I was left homeless. I went down hill even faster. Six months after the fact, I knew I had a decision to make. So I made it.

It was a struggle for me and I battled my own health issues. Then on my 29th birthday in 2002 my life changing event occurred.

I had been mis-diagnosed with an illness and had been over dosed on medication by my doctor. It caused me to become very ill, where I ended up having a seizure and my heart stopped. I was inturbated, and placed on life support and was in a coma.

When I came out of the coma, and out of the hospital, I was diagnosed with having residual brain damage. I was told to get a good hobby and live out my life the best I could, that there was no chance of recovery. And therefore, no occupational therapy to help me regain any function.

After crying for 20 minutes, I made my determination to never again allow anyone to place a label on me, and shelve me away.

In my determination, I also knew that a lot of the people I had surrounded myself with had to go. They were still in the same place they had been 5, 10, 15 years previously, and they would be in that same place in another 5, 10, 15 years and more.

In my determination to succeed and finally live the life I was meant to live, I re-learned to talk, read, write, talk, type, and use the internet. I did this in the space of a month and a half.

Later that same year, I met my husband and moved to Arizona. While in Arizona I attended a seminar where I heard the speaker talk about associations and then he said a key phrase "birds of a feather flock together."

20 plus years later and finally the light bulb in my head came on…

Look at your closest circle of friends that surround you right now, are these individuals living a life which you are emulating to achieve? If not, then it is time to do an inventory of what it is that you truly want to achieve in your life, and if those whom you surround yourself do not fit into the plans, then it is time to start making new friends.

Start surrounding yourself with friends that have already achieved the success you want to attain. Don't allow yourself to lower your standards to meet those friends who are going no where fast. All you will achieve will be what they have…

I know this sounds harsh, but in all truthfulness, how serious are you about success and how determined are you to succeed?

Ask yourself that question, and then make the changes.