Sexual abuse is a life altering experience that impacts on many aspects of your life daily.
I liken it to being held hostage with a gun to your head. You spend your days trying to prevent the gun from going off. This may be a graphic description for some; however, if you have experienced sexual abuse you will resonate with this description.
The depression that sets in, addictions, hiding because you don’t feel safe in the world, the anxiety that creeps into your daily activities, leaves you wrapped in a cocoon of fear. It is similar to a bullet sitting in the chamber of the gun. You never know when it’s going to discharge with a deafening BANG!
Having lived the majority my life with all barrels loaded, I never really understood the impact the abuse had on my life or on the ones closest to me. My husband and children were also hostages, caught up in the fallout from my sexual abuse.
My children missed out on having a fun loving, carefree mother due to the severe bouts of depression, I would drift in and out of when they were younger. Attending their school activities would bring on a huge anxiety attack which would cripple me and result in me staying home, or leaving early. I would then berate and give myself a hard time because I couldn’t get my act together to be with my children to see their faces light up as they crossed the finished line at their athletics carnival. Back then, I wasn’t even aware that the symptoms I was experiencing was anxiety. I simply thought I was a no good frightened Mother.
I no longer hold that opinion of myself and know that I did the best I could with the information I had. I am a great, fun loving, nurturing, understanding mother with a wonderful sense of humour!
My husband felt helpless, isolated and did not know what to do to help me erase the pain I was feeling, when my memories of being sexually abused surfaced with a BANG!!
He took care of the practical things like cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing, folding the clothes, caring for the children, running the household but was at a loss to know how to best support me emotionally.
He wasn’t sure if he was supporting me the best way.
He would sit and listen to me, hold me in his safe arms, wipe my tears and be there for me. This I felt was what I needed, to feel loved and safe and he did this with all of his heart. For me, that was enough.
However he was also a hostage in this nightmare called abuse. He wanted to be able to fix it, to make my pain go away. His love and the love of my children eased the pain.
It is important for the survivor to get back their sense of control and personal power. No one can fix this; however, loving and safe support is essential.
Gail O’Keeffe is an Author and highly experienced Inspirational Mentor for survivors of childhood sexual abuse. http://www.yourgrowingjoy.com
Gail helps women who have experienced childhood sexual abuse to fast track their healing and empowerment utilising cutting edge energy psychology techniques.
She has facilitated and conducted numerous online TeleClasses and Your Growing Joy Mentoring sessions.
Gail’s greatest gift is her genuine love of people. She has a very warm and nurturing personality, a wonderful sense of humour, in-depth intuition, with a natural ability to reach out to others and touch their hearts.
Gail has encountered many changes throughout her life. This stirred the passion to study and embrace tools, strategies and techniques that has enabled her to navigate her sometimes very difficult path of life.
She has now integrated that wealth of information with her own experiences and developed a common sense approach for overcoming the trauma of childhood sexual abuse.
Gail brings a special brand of empathy to her role as a Mentor, teaching empowering cutting edge strategies and techniques to women that assists them to lead happier and more fulfilled lives.
She specialises in mentoring, supporting, facilitating, and inspiring women to live successful, happy and content lives. Free of indecision, guilt, stress, confusion and painful histories.
Gail is also the founder of Care Notes: Discover the little joys of life!
A 20 week f'ree e-course for survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Visit here to receive your weekly dose of self-care.
Gail resides in Brisbane, Australia with her husband of 23 years, her two children and cat.
Qualifications:
Inspirational Mentor, Author, Survivor, Certified Life Transformation Coach and Teacher, Thought Field Therapy (TFT), Pellowah Healing Technique©, Kinesiology, Shell Essences, Aura Light Healing, Faculty Member of I.I.H.S.C., Undertaking Diploma of Counselling, Majoring in Abuse, Grief & Loss.