Do You Think Of Yourself As A Success Or A Failure?

What is success? When it comes to thinking about success or failure, most people think it’s either or, one or the other. But I have found when you look at success and failure as two sides of the same coin, you may find yourself to be a lot more successful than you realize.

What is success to you? How do you judge success?

Most people judge themselves as successful by the following criteria:
• How much money you make?
• How many possessions you have?
• How much of an expert are you in your field?
• How few mistakes have you made?
• How happy are you?

We tend to find someone who is successful at something we want to be successful at, and then compare ourselves to them. But what if they are successful in business but have a terrible marriage? What if they are an expert at relationships but terrible at money management?

My point is that everyone is successful at some things and a failure at other things. And you are no different. It’s just that we tend to beat ourselves up over the failings and downplay the success we have in our lives. Do you do that?

I know I did. I had to learn how to notice my successes and make them more important than my failures. That’s hard to do when the failures seem to be affecting your life in a big way or for a long time. But that’s the test. Can you still see yourself as a success in the midst of failure?

For years I thought of myself as a failure…one failed business after another…why couldn’t I do anything right?…how could I ever be successful?…and on and on. It was only when one day I sat down and did an exercise of writing down all of my successes that I made a great discovery. Some of my failures were also successes. Some of the mistakes I made pushed me into activities that I found more enjoyable. Some of the smaller success led to larger success.

That revelation turned things around for me because I was able to accept myself as fallible but resilient. I was able to be easier on myself and I actually had more and more successes. The best part was that my inner happiness was able to shine forth. I was blooming. Perhaps I was just a very “late bloomer.” Whatever the case, it didn’t matter. I was able to enjoy the now moment more fully and see myself as a success.

So I am recommending that you so several things to acknowledge your success:
• Take some time to stop and identify your successes, big and small.
• Celebrate them, embrace them.
• Make them more important than your failures.
• Stop beating yourself up about mistakes---learn from them instead.
• Remember that set-backs always stimulate growth---and growth is good.

When you do that you will find more peace, happiness, and success come your way.