Empowering behaviors and beliefs can seem paradoxical to us because for the most part, what we have been taught is actually contrary to leading a truly confident and empowered life.
What we learn is not only contrary; it's often outright backwards. We think that how we think about ourselves is independent of how others think of us. In fact, we think that what others think about us is more significant than what we think about ourselves.
For example, from the time we are two, we are unconsciously taught to seek for love, security and self-esteem outside ourselves. This is where we first start "looking for love in all the wrong places". We are taught that the opinions of others are more important than our own, and that our significance comes from our associations, titles and material possessions.
Considering that these are all external to our very Being, it is no wonder that we give our power away regularly. We even make the mistake of trying to "get" love from others when we don't even give it to ourselves.
Actually, we are love by nature. If you are a part of Life, Spirit (wake up call - if you are not, then how are you alive to even read this?) then your source of love is coming from the inside out. This is where love originates, from Spirit.
The problem is, we have lost sight of ourselves, our True Self that is. Instead, we become so lost in the illusion of the "Mental Me" the part of our brains that forms the "story of who we think we are", that we think that we are these thoughts of ourselves.
Yes, there is an area in your brain called "autobiographical memory". I call it simply ego or Mental Me. Ego means "I" in Latin. You see, the ego isn't "bad"; it is just a function of your nervous system to help you feel like a separate individual, it is your "social identity". Where the danger comes in is, when we lose sight of our inner spiritual self and buy into the belief that life is all about the "survival of the fittest" and that we are all alone we get into trouble. We unwittingly train our brains to focus on lack and FEAR (Fictitious Evidence Affecting Reality).
Now here's something very important. Perception rules and reality is relative. Your brain will wire into your body what you keep your focus and feelings on long enough to form a belief. It then will slip into your subconscious mind and affect how you perceive the world and others. Here's the important key: how you see yourself is really going to be reflected back to you from others, meaning if you don't love yourself, you will continuously interpret the behaviors of others as being unloving toward you.
In fact, you are likely to actually attract the people, situations and circumstances to prove you "right" - that you are unlovable or whatever other lie you believe. This is called the "Mirror of Life". The brain is not discriminatory. It is a faithful servant to find what you are looking for especially unconscious beliefs, as these are very powerful.
If you don't give yourself love, don't ever expect to receive healthy love from others. Oh, you may attract lots of dysfunctional drama "love", but you will always be searching for love when you don't feel it for yourself first. Or, you will somehow not achieve the level of success and happiness you desire because you have unconsciously cut yourself off from the awareness of the love within for you from the Universe.
It's all here, right now - if you can only perceive it! Love flows to and through you, but you can block it with self-rejection. The first step to core confidence, true empowerment is to learn how to love and accept yourself. Then you can come from a place of abundance instead of neediness.
Then you can free yourself from the shackles of shame and live the abundant whole life with whole relationships, first to self and then others. As you give love to YOU, you will magically start receiving it from others. I have absolutely experienced this for myself as I came from a place of "enough never enough", I'm unworthy, unlovable etc. Empowerment is just that, power from within.
And it begins when you look within and remember who You are and that you are already ok - just because you breathe. What do you think?
Website: Visit http://www.ValenciaRay.com for your free jump-start report & audio, "7 Common Myths That Block Your Vision for Your Life - And What to Do About It"
Valencia Ray MD is a former eye surgeon who with clear intention sold her medical practice to now show women entrepreneurs and professionals how to eliminate blind spots that block their true potential and limits their vision for business success, happy relationships and good health.
Every week she gives uncommon tips and strategies in her Mind Muscle Minutes and blog, to expand your vision for your business, relationships and a healthy lifestyle, and how to make it happen! You can claim your free reports and learn more at http://www.ValenciaRay.com.