When the Pain Turns to Anguish and the Anguish to Despair

Has Your Pain Turned into Anguish and Despair?

Today, I want to talk about something that is very painful and deep inside some of us. Something that eats at you and gnaws away at your very being. It seems like it never gets better, but only worse.

What I am talking about is our pain, but not just any pain. I am talking about that pain that is so intense that it has turned into anguish. Anguish of the soul, mind, and even your body. All you can do is cry out to God amongst your many tears while it feels like your very heart is going to explode from the pain.

I understand if you are in this place in your life. I know this pain and anguish. I’ve been there. I know what it ‘s like to feel like you can’t go on another day, to think that there’s no way your body can stand the pain any longer; it’s just going to explode! I know what it feels like to cry so long and hard in anguish of soul and know there’s nothing you can do to make the problem go away or solve it. No matter what you do, you can’t change it.

This pain turned to anguish can then turn into despair. When a person has intractable pain, anguish of soul, a breaking heart, and despair, there is no hope but in God. When I was in this dark place, feeling like “this can’t be happening to ME,” all I could do was cry out to God. At first, I blamed Him for what I was going through. They say this is a normal response, that we want to blame SOMEONE, but I was mad at God for letting this happen, for letting it come down to this. Once I calmed down and got some Godly counsel from a true man of God, he helped me understand that God didn’t cause it (although I’ll admit it took me a long time to fully believe that. I kept having to fight those mad thoughts at God that would try to overtake me for quite awhile). It was sin that caused my circumstance, not God.
I understand. I’ve been there!

What I want to share with you today is that I understand your pain, anguish, and despair, but I also want to give you hope from someone who is on the other side of this. Although it may not seem like it right now, what I want you to know is this:

There IS light at the end of the tunnel.
You WILL get through this.
You WILL smile again.
There IS hope.
Things WILL get better.
God WILL comfort you if you will let Him.

I know you are in so much pain that you may not believe what I just said, but please take heart. The pain that you are feeling is normal, whatever the circumstances. I believe God designed our bodies in a way that we will feel all these intense feelings that you are feeling when we are going through deep, dark, painful experiences of pain and loss and betrayal in our lives. He knew we would experience these and says He will be our Comforter. Cry out to Him for help. He already knows what you are going through. Tell Him all about it anyway. Tell Him how you feel. He WILL be there for you.

I know when I was going through this time of my life, which is the worst period of my life EVER, all I wanted from people is for them to understand that I had this unbearable pain, this anguish, and just acknowledge it and tell me they knew it must hurt so bad and they were sorry, they would pray for me, was there anything they could do? I just wanted them to know I was making the best decisions I could at the time and not judge me because they had NO idea what it was like being in my shoes. Is this how you feel right now? Do you want someone to just come and hold you and cry with you? To acknowledge your pain and that everything is NOT okay?

Take care of yourself!

While you are going through this awful time, your emotions will be all over the place. One thing I discovered is the more I cried the more sleep I needed. Any time I am really stressed, it makes me sleepy and I need more rest. If this is the case for you, please try to get some rest. Another benefit of sleeping is it gives you a break from the mind numbing thoughts and feelings warring inside you. Now, I’m not saying to sleep all the time because of the pain because that will get you nowhere. Your body will need more rest though. It will also need you to MAKE it take care of itself. If you aren’t careful, you won’t bathe, will stay in the same clothes for days, won’t eat, won’t brush your hair or teeth, etc. Believe it or not, doing these things, even though they don’t seem that important, will help you feel better in several ways. So don’t let yourself just drift away.

Time will heal you, but it does take awhile.

I know right now you don’t want to hear the saying that “time heals all wounds” but let me expound on it for a moment please. In my situation, it has been 5 long, drawn out, painful years. I can tell you with certainty that if you will trust God to help you make good decisions and let Him heal your pain, some time down the road you will start feeling human again. For awhile, everything around you has probably felt numbing. As time goes on, you will discover you get kinda numbed out. I know just standing there doing the dishes your mind can start to wander and the pain overwhelm you again. This will happen for awhile. It really is normal, although it feels absolutely awful and heart wrenching. I understand. The more you loved someone the more pain you will feel when they are gone. The more pain you may have caused the more pain you will feel. All I know is that we love deeply and when that love is betrayed or broken or we lose someone to death or whatever is causing your pain, the pain in our hearts is more than we think we can bear. I am here to tell you that if you can just get through this excruciating time, it will get better slowly. It will take a long time, but it will get better. Now, after 5 years, I am a very happy person because God is in my life and He is the one who got me through it. Also, I had to come to terms with my part in the situation and had to just learn to let it go. There were a lot of things I tried to put my hand to at first and change, but when I realized I couldn’t change them, I just had to submit them to God. That was very hard to do and sometimes I would think I had given it to Him and then I’d take it back. You will know when you have really given it over to Him. The peace will be awesome!

Your pain will always be there in the background, but after awhile, you will be able to put it on a shelf so to speak and it will only pain you when you take it down and look at it again. I could break down in tears right this moment if I thought about my situation back then and the pain, but I know that isn’t a smart road to go down if I want to be happy. There is no point digging it all up and suffering all over again. It has taken me a very long time to get where I am today and I don’t ever want to be in that painful situation again.

You are weak at this time. Be careful!

My point here is that while you are going through this, your mind and body will be weaker than normal It is the perfect time for the enemy of your soul to try and take advantage of you. He will try to make you blame yourself when you really did nothing wrong or couldn’t have known or changed anything anyway. If your situation is that you are the one that caused pain to others, part of your healing process will be in forgiving yourself. We don’t have time to go into that here, but let me tell you, it is a hard thing to do and you will probably need help and counseling to get it done. Even though God may forgive us, forgiving ourselves is not easy. Just be aware that you are more vulnerable at this point in your life and be careful to watch for ways the devil may try to sneak in.

HAVE HOPE FRIEND!

Right now, I know you are thinking you’ll never be able to smile again, but I know that isn’t true because too many people have proved it to be true. Too many people have lost loved ones or been betrayed by the very ones they loved or maybe they caused terrible pain to the ones they loved themselves. A good majority of these people were eventually able to recover their lives and be happy. So, know this is just temporary, maybe a long temporary, but a temporary situation just the same. I am in no way making light of what you are going through by no means. Trust me. I just want you to have HOPE. I want you to know I’ll be waiting on the other side. If I could, I would hold you and let you cry on my shoulder and I would cry with you. I would tell you I understand your pain and know how you need support and that everything is NOT okay! I would pray for you and ask the very God of the Universe to help you and comfort you.

I am here.

I have been there.

I will be here for you when you come out on the other side and can smile again.

I know this pain you are suffering and how devastating it can be. I really do understand.

So please, have Hope and not despair; cry all you need to and don’t be ashamed of it; know it’s okay to not be okay; know it’s okay to need people to support you during this time; don’t shove people away, let them help you, and most important of all — Seek God with all your heart and He will help you.

I hope this has been encouraging to you in some way. I will be praying for all that read this that you will find comfort and hope from it.

With love from a former sufferer who is now on the other side. You can be here some day too!