Some people get more attention by sharing their problems than by striving to go beyond their limitations. This is especially true when you face a health challenge, for it is easier to get sympathy and kindness from others than to get praise for being well. When you focus on what is wrong with you, you are actually giving life to your problems. Our weakness seems to grab our attention and trigger the need to seek getting care from others. When we are sick, we need to consciously avoid falling into these habits.

We need to tap inner resources and develop new habits that use powerful inner resources to better our health. This may sacrifice attention-getting from others, but it strengthens the ability to be independent. When you are independent, you naturally break out of this approval-seeking from others. The simple act of self-discovery and the pride of independence may separate you from family and friends, but they are the most important parts of healing. When you discover habits that strengthen the healing process, they make you dependent on inner resources and lessen dependence on other people.

Imagine this independence as a requirement to become a powerful partner with your doctor. When inner resources team up with outer resources, like the doctor’s treatment and medication, the best healing results occur. This requires breaking the habit of focusing on what is wrong with you. This means that the simple act of healing has to be more important than getting the pity and kindness of those around you.

Now, I want to make a new point; some illnesses are real and require you to give the symptoms priority. Norman Cousins said that awareness is curative. That means that when you have a goal of healing and can actually see yourself in a healthy state, awareness of what is wrong sends messages to your brain that activate inner resources. Without awareness, crucial messages are not sent to your brain and the healing process is not activated.

Healing is a natural process in the body and our ego, when caught up in an attention-seeking habit, only limits this process. This is why healing happens best when the patient experiences being loved. Not only does love quiet the ego, it activates the Wisdom of the Body to heal. We cannot always feel about us, but we can always create a loving inner healing environment.

The power of self-love is probably the most powerful factor in the healing process. It is very hard to heal when a patient does not feel self-love and love of life. Most people think love of life involves the people, places and things in our live. The way I describe life is that it is the power that keeps you alive.

When you love life, this is a tender way of creating an inner healing environment and promoting healing.

© 2010 Marc Lerner and Life Skills

Author's Bio: 

Marc Lerner is the President of Life Skills Institute and has been working with people in a health struggle for over 29 years. He is the author of A HEALTHY WAY TO BE SICK, which teaches you how to consciously create yourself in the midst of a health challenge. You can view a mini-copy of this book at: He also conducts tele-seminars that lead you through the main techniques of this book, where you will do over 20 experiential techniques on your own to support the main techniques. We have to be conscious of how you create yourself.