Hello again and welcome to part 2 of 7.
This part is based upon so called friends as promised in part 1.
Please understand that this next part is in no way meant to offend you or any of your friends. It is however meant to make you think about a few aspects of how friends can influence circumstances in many areas of our lives.

Now it’s great to have good friends but how many of them have you also divorced over the years? The reason I say this is some really do need weeding out, because some friends, as you either know from experience or will learn from in the future are not always what and who they portray to be.

A true friend will listen to you and be there for you always. If they ever do give advice then it should only be taken if you know this person can “walk their talk” You see it’s very easy to give others advice but if these people do not take their own medicine and demonstrate it, then to me that speaks volumes.
Remember this, if your friends give you advice that does not work for you what will you do? Will they still be there for you?

Will they be there on your lonely nights? Will they put you up for a few weeks or months if you lose your marital home?
Will they pay your bills if you run into financial difficulties?
It goes with out saying if you had a friend/friends like this then you are truly so lucky and you should do all you can for them also. Friends like this are hard to find so hang on to them by showing love and support always to them.

If you are any thing like me then you won’t want to depend on any one if you can help it, but it’s important to know that IF you ever needed to accept help in this way that it would be genuinely there for you. You see, it’s the ones that always have an opinion on this and that and advice just flows from them continuously that you need to question as to if they would be such a friend in times of need. Unfortunately you will only really find this out when push comes to shove, but that’s the beauty of experience. What I am offering here is an in-sight into what usually happens in many types of circles of friends.

The worst aspect of advice from some friends is the financial advisors! Wow they all become experts on money and what is fair and what is not, its amazing how they all know what’s in your best interest. Its worth noting that your partners friends will also be doing and saying exactly the same things in ways of advice etc. Before you know it, it’s your friends that are running the show from the outside and it becomes Male friends versus Female friends and the two of you are just in the middle trying to make head and tale of what’s already an emotional and confusing time.

You can find yourselves not doing what you feel but trying to please your friends and trying to follow their advice. If you find yourself in this position you may find your self doing as they say in fear that if you don’t that they will abandon you. DO NOT fall into this trap of false loyalty. I would suggest that you make your own decisions based on what you feel is fair or not.
Use your heart felt intuitions and your own values and beliefs to decide on what it is right, what you feel and believe that you deserve and should have, make your own decisions.

The reason I say this is what ever happens you will be able to own the results. You will learn from this and you can become a stronger individual. Its times like this that you can look at your values and beliefs (V/B) and decide if these such values/beliefs are once again serving you in this part of your life. We all need to be adaptable and be constantly analysing our V/B because what served you once may not be relevant at every stage of your life. Think about your V/B as a fashionable pair of shoes, they are fantastic at the time and may serve you for many years but there will be a time when you need to change them because they can not serve you forever without not fitting in with the changing world of fashion.

Part 3 of 7 will focus on facing up to what you think divorce will achieve for you.
Feel free to look at my web site at www.bjacoaching.co.uk and look for the link in PINK called Products, Enjoy.

Copyright 2005 bjacoaching.co.uk. All rights reserved.

Author's Bio: 

Hello to all you lovely people out there!
My name is Brian Allen,I am 47 years of age and since I can remember I have always wanted to be happy and have all those around me happy as well. But this was not the case for many, many years.

I have had a very varied and colourful life to say the least.
From the age of 13 I started to be controversial, unafraid, and outspoken at times. Nothing was too dangerous or beyond me. I had to be the one to do the " Dare " or be the first to jump in for the underdog. As long as it either brought me respect or earned me a laugh it was ok by me. I learnt to stand up for myself and since then, I have always done the same for people that were less confident than me, yes I was the one that would stick his nose in when others were too afraid for one reason or another.

This had been due to many factors that I will not go into, but I can tell you that due to being bullied at an early age, going to 14 different schools, and having a rough upbringing has had an big impact on my values, beliefs, and also me as well. I do not complain about any of these issues above as they are the very reasons for what and who I am today.

My main reason in my life now is to make I difference in other peoples lives, I have chosen coaching because in essence it is what I am all about. Through choosing this as my new profession I can both serve a purpose and make a humble living from it as well. My wish is to become so successful in the achievement in others that my practice increases ten fold. I hope that I resonate with you here and now and if so then it ' s ok for you to give me a call for a free 30 min consultation. Good Luck, God Bless.