How do you gain your self respect?! Steps to lead you to the way.

Some of us ignore his identity and doesn’t know who he is? Is he a liar or honest? Good or bad? Sincere or hypocrite? And the answer is very simple: you have first to remove the dust from the surface and you will see the deep!

Who I’m?!

I’m a human gifted by God with all the talents and abilities which I will use to find my way. My nature is pure 100%, and I have both good and evil and I’m the one who will choose which direction I’ll take by my own will. Also I’m the one who control all the human dealing which run through me.

Who I’m?!

I’m a human who recognize very well that both good and evil are there and I had to choose my own way, and I’m the one who will bear all the consequences of all my different dealing with life, and I’ll be judged by myself, the society and above all from God, therefore, there is no way except to be a human.

So If I’m right; I’ll continue this right way and never change it no matter what are the circumstances and pressure.

And If I’m wrong; I’ll go back fast and correct the faults I made and never do it in the future.

As I know that I’m human that may be right or wrong, this doesn’t reduce myself, unless I became stubborn and insist that I’m right, and this is the great fault.
Now to gain your self respect, you have to work on it and tame it through follow the following instructions:

1.to respect yourself, you have first to respect the others:
As it doesn’t make sense to respect myself while talking to someone as if I love him, and behind his back, I destroy his image and reputation in front of people, and interfere in his life and his private matters without his permission and in inappropriate way. Now, How I respect myself?!

You have to respect the others and their life, in order not to feel guilty toward them, and you will feel very small and you will not respect yourself, because when you seed you will harvest. And you should watch the creator not the creatures.

2.don’t prove yourself to anybody, not even to yourself:
When you prove yourself, you weaken it, so be sincere in all your dealing regardless the others opinion, as you can satisfy yourself, but you will never satisfy all the people no matter how hard you tried. Be yourself and make from your life a perfect lyric, according to your personality and your vision not to the others opinion and needs, and who doesn’t want to accept what you are, he will not find any other personality. As for the image the others draw for you, doesn’t concern or oblige you, they are free with their ideas and imagination, and you are free, as it is you.

3.Manners: have a good manner and be friendly:
Your manners is your passport to your self respect, as human without manners is inhuman, prophet Mohamed PBUH says “I was send to complete the manners”, so is your manners is good? Wake up brothers and sisters as the manners are what made us better human and better believer.

4.Don’t criticize, don’t blame and don’t despise:
I think you know the story of Adam PBUH and how the devil despise that Adam PBUH was made from mud and that he was made from fire, so how was his punishment?!
My dear reader: don’t criticize as you may find who criticize you, don’t blame as you may find who blame you, and don’t despise anyone as you may find who despise you, and may God punish you to despise yourself, as God punishment is severe.

5.Don’t achieve other’s targets in life, just achieve your own targets:
Don’t study in a certain college to satisfy your family, don’t marry someone because you will be profit from the marriage, and don’t take a certain job because your father was dreaming of it all his life.

Identify your goals in life and achieve what you want for your life not what the others want from you. Don’t live in others dress, respect your self and make your future by your own thought, hard work, and inspiration.

6.To see your personality’s beauty, forget the past and start from the beginning:
Throw the old and negative thoughts which you occupy yourself with for all your life, and start a new era with yourself full of respect and appreciation for yourself. Refuse the old person and begin again from your inner pure nature, only begin depending on God, and be sincere in the new beginning, and God will help you to win. Now ask God forgiveness for your sin and don’t come back to surface without the new person, and you will ask me who is it? I will answer, it is you!
Isn’t it much easier than you thought, be yourself, and let go all the years faults, as you deserve to honor this person you wronged for years, it deserve the trial.

And here is two ways to free you from the past and begin again: (From Internet):

The first way: The free Talking:

It is an effective way that some may be ashamed to do it, but if they knew its benefit they won’t feel like this, and it is as follow:
You assign to it half an hour each day, where you leave all your work and troubles, and lock yourself in a comfortable room, where you can talk with yourself without interruption.

Then sit and imagine that someone is sitting in front of you and start talking to him about yourself. Start your speech about the things that is annoying you all your life, about the person who you feel that he control your life, and you want to end his control, you can speak about the most painful events in your life, just talk, don’t let any principle or manners control your speech, talk freely, it doesn’t matter if you get tense and begin to yell and call names, because this is the most important part of the exercise; it is the hidden emotion coming out and take with it all its negativity in the form of yelling and insults.
It would be much better if you had a ball to hit the walls with during the angry fits, as it make you feel better.

This is an examples of what the people exercise this treatment do, the point is don’t make anything prevent you from expression, do whatever you want. Talk, and talk, and express until you feel that you begin to calm down and that you had no more speech, only then you will feel that you are much comfortable than before.
Does this exercise for two weeks at least, every time you get out of the room you will feel that you are a different person, because you get rid of all the worries you had for years.

The second way: The free Writing:

It is the same idea but you substitute talking with writing. The psychological doctors may have a different ways in how their patient should write, they may give them question regarding their life and let them answer it. But we will use the common way which is revealing the hidden by writing the obvious, meaning the more we write and express what we remember the more we get all the memories and forgotten feeling from the unconsciousness.

The way of writing doesn’t depend on art or culture or even manners, you only hold the pen lightly, don’t press it hard, and don’t be tense, write what ever you want, get everything out of your deep, starting from the most annoying thing for you all your life, weather it is person, situation, government, or even nature in you.
For example, you can write about your good or bad intention you had all your life, if it came true or not, write about a situation when you felt you are coward and failure, write about person you hate, write your true feeling toward him, and try to know what do you hate in him and why?

Everyday with the recently writing you will find more topics to write about until you finish two weeks, which is the period of the treatment.
For ordinary person, it is enough to do this exercise or the one before once a year.

My dear reader:
It is not enough to have the wish to respect ourselves; we must do what we can to prove our self respect. Be human, be yourself, and do what will prove it.