5 Ways To Stay Positive During The Dating Process

After briefly discussing the importance of maintaining a positive attitude about dating in a previous article; one reader commented that although it would probably be much easier for younger women to remain positive when attempting to attract a man, for someone her age, being positive was a lot more challenging.

Of course, when we are younger, we tend to be more idealistic and resilient. We have no problem throwing caution to the wind, expecting the best because we don’t have a personal point of reference. It’s not until we have experienced the sting of unrequited love for ourselves that the reality of cultivating a long-term commitment maybe more challenging than we originally thought.

Being a 40 something women myself, I can definitely appreciate the challenges of getting back on the horse, so to speak.

So how do you stay positive during the dating process, especially after an unpleasant, and for many of us, several past unpleasant relationship experiences? If the disappointment of previous relationships has left you jaded about dating, the 5 following tips may be just what you need to feel more positive about dating again.

1. See your past relationships as learning experiences – Because many women don’t learn the lessons that past relationships have come into their lives to teach them,they find themselves constantly attracting the same types of men and engaging in the same or similar unhealthy or toxic scenarios.

As the old adage goes, if you keep doing what you’ve been doing, you’re going to keep getting what you’ve been getting. Ask yourself, what lesson was I supposed to learn from my previous involvements? Doing this will give you some insight on what you need to differently when dating.

2. Don’t project qualities and characteristics onto someone you don’t even know yet – Be careful not to try and make someone into somebody they are not in order to justify being in a relationship with them. This is a sure fire way to set yourself up for disappointment.

Remaining objective as you get to know someone allows you to not only see and accept them for who they are, it will allow you to be honest with yourself about the potential for a more serious relationship.

3. Have a strategy in place for dating – Just socializing and networking isn’t enough. In order to achieve success, you need to have a plan of action. Setting boundaries, pacing yourself, and determining your deal breakers will make you more confident and feel more empowered.

4. Have realistic expectations about the dating process –The truth is your knight in shining armor is not going to ride in on his white haired mare and sweep you off your feet, (well not in this day and age anyway). The reality is you may end up dating several men before your Prince comes along. In the meantime, learn to go with the flow and be in the moment.

Enjoy the process of just getting to know men while dating. Realize that every date is not always meant to turn into a life time commitment and some relationships are coming into your life to prepare you for “Mr. Right”.

5. Don’t put all of your eggs in one basket – Many women are so anxious to be in a relationship so quickly, they often skip the screening process. This causes women to not only put all of their eggs in one basket when it comes to men, they often end up putting all of their eggs in a basket that‘s often frayed and full of holes!

Becoming too attached to one guy to soon in the dating process can create feelings of desperation which in turn often causes you to compromise yourself in unhealthy ways to maintain a relationship. Keep in mind that you don’t have to settle for a guy who happens to be convenient or because he has shown some interest in you.

Approaching the dating process from an empowered perspective will provide you with confidence which is a great way to not only stay positive, but will also allow you to remain objective and realistic while you’re navigating the dating maze.

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