Roommates, you may have had one when you were in college or just starting out so that you had someone to share the burden of expenses while you worked to become financially independent. Then eventually you met someone, took the leap of marriage and rather than having a roommate you now had a spouse.
I actually had both! Yep, I was married about 5 years or so and one day my husband informs me that a friend of his will be coming to town to work with him in his new business venture. I asked "when is he coming". Husband says "he's on his way now"!
Being married, you would think that you would discuss guests that were coming to visit before committing to the guest, right?! No! OK, OK, so you have company coming that will be staying with you for a period of time. You can deal with this, after all, what's a guest room for anyway? GUEST or Houseguest: (according to Dictionary.com) is a person staying with a household as a guest for one night or longer. The "longer" part is what I apparently chose to overlook. So, OK, houseguest, I'm thinking he'll come in, stay with us for about a month or so until he finds a place and gets settled into the job. Wrong again!
Shame on me for not asking for details! So here I was, married with a roommate. Weird. But it all worked out, because my "single" husband had a friend he could hang out in bars and watch sports with and I had someone who would actually cut the grass, clean the kitchen, help me paint and stop what he was doing to help me with any project I needed help with. This gave my husband time to surf the internet, play games or whatever he felt like doing.
All that sounds good, but what it didn't give us was privacy! It didn't give us the one-on-one time that I feel should be a priority in any marriage. No intimate dinners in front of the fire, no running around the house half naked, no sneaking up behind my husband while he was cooking and stealing a hug. We no longer talked to each other, but rather had group discussions!
Believe it or not, that all actually worked out also. As I quickly grew to where I didn't really like even being around my husband, let alone talking to him or touching him! So having a roommate at this point, actually worked to my advantage, and prevented me from having to make up excuses!
My ex is married for the third time. There was another man in my marriage; I just wasn’t the one in the relationship with him! The roommate is the only one who has survived three marriages and two divorces! Yep, he's still there!
So next time, if there is a next time, there will be NO roommates!
I am 51 years old and I have survived divorced!
I grew up in a large family. I am the youngest of 7 (for my Mom) the second to the youngest of 8 (for my Dad). My parents divorced when I was in kindergarten. I grew up in government housing not knowing each day if we would be having dinner or not. My Mom worked full time, but made just enough to get by. So, I was determined that I would be financially able to stand on my own two feet before I even considered getting into a serious relationship.
I was 31 when I finally took the leap into marriage. Twelve years later, I found myself with two wonderful boys and going through a divorce. Divorce is something I don't wish on anyone, however, I do feel, that for me, it was much better than remaining in a loveless marriage. Admitting that I married for the wrong reasons and then having the courage to correct it, was a huge turning point in my life.
I have now been divorced for 7 years (February 2015). Each year getting easier and easier as I strived to rebuild my life and get me and my life back on track. Three more years and I will have complete freedom as both of my boys will be 18.
Best of all, I love who I am, where I am and especially where I am headed!