There he is, that guy you had been admiring for some time now. Will he ever notice you? You have to let him know you are there. If not you tell his pal that you would like to meet him for a drink. The butterflies are flying around in your belly, you turn your head for a moment and turn back around and there he is, right in front of you.
This was the start of it all. From that moment on you fell in love and you had passion and adventure and spontaneaty. It was blissful, out of a romance novel some would say.
The ring is on your finger and you are now united as one. You are excited but once you move in to your new place after the wedding, it suddenly feels odd. You love it and love the fact that you come home to eachother every night. Months go by and than years go by and you ask yourself, " What is so different"?
Intimacy was automatic when we were dating, passion was hot and breathtaking, where is it now?
In nearly all marriages, passion and intimacy becomes secondary for many reasons, work, children, life in general. It does not have to be like this and it should not be. There has to be time made for intimacy and passion between couples.
Small things go a very long way for a woman to feel desired, wanted and needed and it is not all sexual. A woman needs appreciation, if she feels she is doing everything in the household and in the relationship, she will tend to shy away from intimacy. A woman needs little things like a wink or a small kiss on the forehead or behind the ear, something subtle but loving.
A woman needs compliments, when she is dressed up, she needs to hear she looks nice and even if she is in sweat pants she wants to know you desire her. A woman needs passion.
Without passion in a relationship, there is a huge void, one that can even cripple a marriage. Passion about goals and dreams and desires, passion for one another and that passion has to be communicated. If a couple shares the same passion and dreams, they will come to surface much sooner working together as a team.
A marriage takes work and there really is no Answer Key to what one can do to make it last but there are many simple things one can do to make their spouse feel loved, lusted and appreciated.
1. Start each day with a kind word to one another,example: If your husband is dressed for work, tell him he looks handsome or sexy. If your wife is still lying in bed, tell her something like I could stay and lay with you all day long. Something that both will think of through out the day. Or even right something on the bathroom mirror with lipstick.
2. In this day and age of texting, you can send your spouse a text, saying you are thinking of them, or you miss them or you cannot wait until they get home so you can be together. Say something that will make their heart flutter.
3. Notice what your spouse has done, maybe cleaned the house or mowed the lawn and tell them it looks nice, let them know that you noticed and you appreciate what was done.
4. Flirt: It does not matter how long you have been married, you can always flirt with your spouse. Think back to the dating days and relive them. With a simple smile or a gentle touch, it can make all the difference in the world.
5. Respect your spouse, for their goals and wants and support them, praise them and let them know you will be by their side all the way.
6. Listen and Hear your spouse: Anyone can listen but you must hear in a marriage. You must pay attention and hear the words so if there is any miscommunication you will more accurately be able to respond.
7. Trust your spouse, do not second guess and do not doubt.
8. Take time to be a couple, whether you have children or long hour careers, you must take time to be a couple and be silly together and play together, laugh, smile at one another and feel what you felt when you fell in love.
9. Communicate: All too often there is a break in communication in any marriage and if this happens so many different paths can be taken. Always say what you feel whether it is good or bad because no matter what there was love and passion at one time otherwise there would be no marriage in existence.
10. Be creative together and keep the flame alive. Want one another and show it. Go up to your spouse when they least expect it and kiss them and whisper something sexy in their ear. Try new things to spice up your sex life. Have it be about the two of you in intimacy not just one. Keep it fun and unplanned and memorable. Being creative in the bedroom is not difficult, it can be fun and it will keep the flame alive.
In a marriage keeping the love, intimacy, trust, communication and passion alive will prove a life long marriage. If you feel stagnant in your marriage, it is not too late, it is time to kick it up a notch and do something about it. If you are feeling less desired or sexy make a move that will show your spouse that you are and you still desire them.
All too often couples think the other one is no longer interested so they stop trying, this cannot happen, you have to make the effort, there is nothing wrong with one making a move first, someone has to.
Love, be passionate, be friends and be happy~!
Kristen L. Baker is a Certified Master life Coach, Wellness Coach that coaches people world wide. She coaches individuals, couples and families. Anything to do with Life, Kristen will help you reach your desired goals.
She is married, a mother of two, a business owner and a published author. Her passion is to make a difference in people's lives and to never live in fear.