Type 8s are from Mars, type 4s are from Venus? They might as well be, considering the potential for misunderstanding between different Enneagram types.
The first point to understand is that we aren't wrong because we're different. If you would like to get a handle on each type, visit the Enneagram page on my website or have a look at my last article on Enneagram and relationships.
In order to build happier, more connected relationships, it helps dramatically to understand what type your colleague, friend, or partner is. Whether they are operating primarily from a thinking orientation (types 6, 7, 8), a feeling approach (types 2, 3, 4), or a gut-instinct "knowing" (types 8, 9, 1), is crucial to understand their world and perspective. If, for example, you are a thinking type, and your boss is a feeling type, know that they are reacting to news and developments from that orientation, and that you need to speak their language in order to have the most positive and productive connection.
You need to travel to meet the other person in their world, understand where you and they are in terms of personality, and then build bridges between your world and theirs, helping you understand, relate, and learn.
Conscious relationships at work: how to build great teams
Working recently with the senior management team of one of my corporate clients, I saw first-hand how transformative it is for people to understand their own Enneagram type and that of their colleagues.
With that insight, you are able to consciously focus on bringing out your best and working to your highest potential, understanding how to leverage the positives in your personality to create great connections and results, and also how to manage and avoid the pitfalls that can cause friction and misunderstanding.
Understanding the Enneagram type of your colleagues allows you to maximise your relationship, showing you how to get the best out of them, how to build connections, and equally not to take personally or get frustrated by behaviour you might find difficult.
In terms of team dynamics, it's exciting to understand how the spectrum of Enneagram types within a team can take the team forward to new levels of cooperation and success, where you're actively and consciously working together to harness your individual and collective strengths and achieve greatness.
Conscious Loving in your personal relationships
Clients often ask me what types are most compatible in personal relationships. Interestingly there is a pattern in what type we tend to be most attracted to in relationships.
The happy news, though, is that any Enneagram type is compatible with any other type, depending on how emotionally/mentally healthy they are.
Within each Enneagram type there is a dynamic spectrum of development. Understanding our own type allows us to create our own personalized development plan to be our best.
Any individual who is at the very healthy level of development within their type, can get along beautifully with healthy levels of any other type. It is when we start to go down the scale of awareness and development that we start to clash with other types, and some more than others at that point.
So being conscious of your own Enneagram type and how it affects your behaviour in personal relationships, gives you the map to bring out the best in yourself and your partner.
If you are both aware of these dynamics and present in the moment, you can practise conscious loving in your personal relationships and become closer and more in love with every day.
The idea is to transcend the ego limitations of your personality, understand the other person, and cultivate your heart connection....
To learn more about how working with the Enneagram can enhance your personal and professional relationships and success, have a look at the Enneagram books on my website La Vita Nuova, or contact me to explore individual or group coaching nicola@la-vita-nuova.com.
Dr. Nicola Bunting is a top international personal and professional coach, one of only 1% of coaches in the world to have attained the Master Certified Coach credential from the ICF (International Coach Federation). Nicola's company, La Vita Nuova (the New Life!) Personal and Professional Coaching, is devoted to expert bespoke executive and life coaching for successful and ambitious professionals (in Europe and the USA) who want to dramatically accelerate their success and fulfilment. With individual, group, and corporate coaching programmes on offer, La Vita Nuova can create a coaching plan to help you design and create an extraordinary life and work.
You can learn more at www.la-vita-nuova.com