How good is your relationship?
When John Gray wrote Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus in 1992, it fast became a ‘must have’ for anyone seriously interested in understanding how to communicate with the opposite sex. 18 years on and it is as relevant today as it was then. Which of us, even those who have been with their partner for more years than we care to remember, do not sometimes look at our loved one across the table and wonder whether they dropped in from another planet? How could they possibly think like that or say and do those things which seem to us to be so totally bizarre? It’s just not normal!
It’s no easier for those of us who are beginning a new relationship later on in life. At least when you meet someone when you are in your teens or twenties you tend to grow into each other and learn ways of being together.
What about when you meet someone in your 40s or 50s and find that they don’t share your views on sex and you can’t abide the way they leave everything to the last minute?
What do you do if your new partner expects to spend every minute of the day with you and you are used to your own space and “me time”?
These things can be a real threat to your fledgling relationship, to say nothing of challenging your own identity and independence.
But if you know anything about the Law of Attraction you will know that what we focus on expands. If we focus on the things about our partner that we don’t like, we only have ourselves to blame when those things appear to become greater in number and frequency. However, focus on what attracts us and look for every opportunity to be thankful for the good things, and you can expect your relationship to just get better and better.
Therefore I encourage you, for the good of your relationship and your own health, to make a list of all the things that you like about your loved one, and when you think it is complete, think some more. Then look for opportunities to thank them for each of those things. I guarantee that every time you do that you will be adding more things to your list.
So rather than focussing on what irritates you, focus on what gives you joy. The more you are willing to give of yourself, the more will come back to you, in abundance.
“And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make” (The Beatles)
Carol Page, New Page Life Coach
Carol Page is a Life Coach, based in Cyprus, providing individualised coaching programmes for personal and business clients on a one-to-one and group basis.
Carol coaches to a full spectrum of life issues including relationships, sexuality and communication. Spirituality in its broadest sense forms the basis for all of Carol's work, supporting clients in their personal religious or spiritual journey as is appropriate.
Carol has a Diploma with merit in Personal Performance Coaching, having trained with The Coaching Academy. She is an ordained Minister, has significant experience working in spiritual healthcare, holds a First Class Honours degree in Theology, an MA in Pastoral Studies and a Certificate in Counselling. She has eight years experience within the NHS, both at the front-line as a spiritual healthcare provider, caring and supporting people through painful and difficult circumstances and also supervising, teaching and facilitating staff. She has training and experience as a Harassment Advisor, in Supervision and Mentoring.
Carol has a genuine sensitivity, care and concern for people and enjoys seeing them reach their goals and becoming all they want to be.
If you would like to discuss any of the issues raised in this article, please get in touch with Carol at: carolpage@newpagelc.co.uk