Belittling our partner––or a child, for that matter––either directly or by innuendo, is a direct hit to the heart. Eventually, love is replaced by resentment, loathing or even hate.
In the moment, we don’t realize the damage we’re causing when we belittle those we “say” we love. We’re blinded by our own feelings. Our hurtful comments are driven by frustration, anger, disappointment, and sadly, simply from the “relationship skills” we learned as children from our family environment.
I’m all about personal growth. In my opinion, that is absolutely the number one reason we are on this planet…to learn to be the best person we can be. As we evolve our heart, spirit and soul we expand our capacity to love. The more space love takes up within us, the less room there will be for anything else.
When we catch ourselves being “ugly” to another, or even to ourselves, we need to look in the mirror and notice how we’re disappointed, frustrated, not loving, or angry toward ourselves, because with everything we put out into the world, it comes from within us first. Inner love begets outer love, inner disappointment begets outer disappointment, etc. There’s a reason it’s called personal growth “work.” The work part is being brutally honest with ourselves so we can take charge, stop running on automatic and STOP BLAMING what’s going on outside. Because you know what, in every situation and every person, you are right smack in the middle of it.
The only way we are going to choose to change our habits is if we become aware of them. Then, and only then, will we take charge of how we behave and begin to choose from a place of love.
Bottom line, it’s all about living and loving full out.
Kara Oh, relationship coach, best-selling author and public speaker, offers a full range of products and services to assist women and men with everything they need to create fulfilling relationships that are filled with love, playfulness, romance and passion.
Whether you are single and looking for the right partner, involved and frustrated, or married and struggling with everything from an affair to falling out of love, her unique resources offer everything that you need to enjoy the kind of relationship you desire.