Every once in a while we need to acknowledge how far we’ve come in our relationship. Think back on how things were, when you were having a hard time in your relationship and had not started making a conscious and guided effort to make things better.
If your relationship is fairly new and you don’t have that much history together yet but are having a difficult time, if you just started working on making things better, or if you are new to this publication and to “consciously” working on your relationship, you might feel like there really hasn’t been that much progress yet. That’s ok – your time shall come, I promise.
But for those of you who have been putting in an “appropriate” effort – I’m sure you are seeing the results and therefore I want to congratulate you!! I want YOU to also acknowledge how your relating has improved and how things are looking up. Mind you, the relationship doesn’t have to be completely satisfying yet for you to take credit on the changes that have been made. After all, “Rome wasn’t built in a day”!
By “appropriate” effort I mean that you are able to see things from your partner’s point of view also and that you are not just entrenched in yours and how much you do, and that you are able to give your partner credit for their efforts. Remember, “It takes two to tango.”
However small are the results you’ve gotten thus far, I want you to acknowledge that there has been a change. I want you to give yourself credit for your paradigm shift – how you are using a different lens to look at your partner and your relationship. I want you to take credit for trying and for looking for resources. Take credit for putting in more time and effort. Take credit for the baby steps taken. Take credit for noticing that, in their own way, your partner is trying.
In noticing the small changes, you are aware that movement is happening and that you are on your way to creating a satisfying relationship. This is empowering, motivating and heart lifting. This is the fuel needed to keep you going and on the right track.
So, go ahead and pat yourself on the back and do something nice for yourself to reward your efforts. A little acknowledgement goes a long way!
Happy Acknowledging!!!
http://www.metrorelationship.com/SuccessfulCouples/2014/06/give-pat-back/
Emma K. Viglucci is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couples ™ programs and products that assist couples succeed at their relationship and life. To get your downloadable relationship enrichment insights and receive her weekly successful couples articles, nurturing nuggets (sm) and other resources visit: www.metro-relationship.com.