If you’re a parent of a growing child, maybe you already experienced being lied to by your kid. If you have yet to discover your kid telling a lie, well, you should prepare yourself for it eventually. All children lie. Now, should you be worried about it? Should you question your modern parenting skills? What should you do if you catch your children spinning stories?
Fortunately, your kid’s nose will not become like this.
Photo courtesy of Rosy via Flickr, Creative Commons
Why Kids Lie to Their Parents?
In order to deal with the problem, you need to find out the reasons why children lie. First common reason for lying is the kid’s fear of punishment. A child tends to lie with this reason in mind if the parent tends to hand down severe punishments or if the parent has high expectations for his children. The kid will lie in order to get out of punishments or to avoid having the parent get disappointed at him. This is common among younger children.
Second, a kid may lie as part of his playing habits. Young kids are prone to conjuring up stories involving imaginary friends and imaginary worlds. Since this is a harmless reason for lying, you may want to take advantage of this creative and playful stage of your kid’s growth by initiating more play interaction between the kid and yourself.
Third, a child may lie to enhance his self-esteem and social status. This is something older kids are more likely to do. Common lies involve telling other people that they have met movie stars, rock stars, and other people that they consider cool. If a kid feels inadequate in terms of social status when he compares himself to his friends or other kids, lies may be told to make themselves look better in the eyes of others.
Fourth, rebellion against authority can become a reason why a kid lies. The kid will tell lies to challenge the parent’s authority. This is especially true for pre-teens, who feel that they should not be forced to tell their parents everything. If a kid feels that a particular question is intrusive, he may respond with a lie as a way to rebel against the parent.
Top Lies That Kids Tell Their Parents
Here are some of the common lies that children tell their parents, coming from different age brackets.
Maybe he DOES know, but just refuses to tell you. If the outcome of his answer will not swing in his favor, lying is the easiest way out of a scolding or punishment.
“He” (or she) may involve another person or an imaginary friend. The truth is that your kid did do it but he’s putting the blame on the other person as an easy way out. The poor, unsuspecting person is usually a younger sibling who can’t defend himself. Or the dog.
It’s not me, it’s the cat!
Photo courtesy of Mary Gereis via Pinterest
3. I ate the lunch you packed for me.”
School kids are notorious for not eating their own meals and asking food from other kids. He may have thrown that peanut butter sandwich away or gave it to a friend in exchange for his potato chips, or even non-food items.
4. “I already did my homework.”
Kids hate doing homework, period. So it should be no surprise to you that your child may lie about finishing his homework. Maybe he would rather play outside. Maybe he wants to play video games instead of studying. Or maybe he just hates doing homework.
Maybe the dog DID eat the homework.
Photo courtesy of Megan Keylovitz via Pinterest
This is commonly used for stalling or getting out of a scolding. Toddlers often use this excuse to delay their bedtime. They will swear they have to go to the bathroom to pee and minutes after getting out of bed, you will hear them playing, laughing or just wandering around the house.
6. “I feel sick.”
Your kid may want to skip school and watch TV all day instead, so he feigns sickness.
7. “Yes, I will behave.”
It’s just the thing your kid will say so that you’ll take him somewhere you don’t plan to take him. You make him promise to behave and he solemnly agrees. It’s a trap.
8. “But everyone else failed, too!”
This is a ready excuse when you confront him about the angry, red “D” on his report card.
9. “Oh, Taylor Swift and I go way back.”
Or insert another celebrity name here that kids tend to go for these days. The kid who gets to hang out with somebody cool automatically becomes cool by association. Obviously, this is more common among pre-teens, who seek the approval of their peers.
10. “But George is allowed to go!”
Telling you that his friend gets to go to camp or his parents bought him an iPhone should be enough to convince you to allow him to go to wherever or get a fancy new gadget, right?
11. “I swear I won’t ask for anything again after this.”
No parent should ever fall for this one.
12. “But Dad said I could do it.”
It’s best to check with your spouse just to make sure your kid is not using this as an excuse.
Should You Worry and Do Something About It?
Kids lie as they grow to the tweens stage, which is perfectly normal. It’s when lying becomes chronic or habitual that it becomes an issue for concern. There are several things you can do to address the problem. You can establish an honesty rule that applies to everyone in the household. Setting an example for your kid is a good way to enforce this rule. Here’s when the benefits of kid and parent interaction comes in. Even at a young age, your kid should learn to distinguish the lie from the truth and the consequences of being dishonest.
Anna Rodriguez is a manager and a passionate writer. She owns Homey Guide Blog. You can follow her at @annrodriguez021.