Heal Pain and Fear

Healing the Pain Body

1. How Our Pain, Fear and Defensiveness Surfaces

The “Law Of Attraction”
As pointed out by Michael Losier and Esther Hicks, both teachers of, “The Law Of Attraction,” we attract what we vibrate at the level of our emotional bodies, not necessarily what we think or want. Although our thoughts have energy, the strongest energy vibration of our emotional body, whether it is of pain, fear or love, will always manifest. The “Law of Attraction” responds only to our energy vibration and is unable to distinguish between what we want or don’t want. When we cry out painfully, “I can’t stand this abuse,” we vibrate, the pain and fear of abuse and receive just that, more pain, fear and abuse. Whenever we attack or resist any experience, this same principle or law operates to strengthen and bring to us more of that same experience. Unfortunately, our pain and fear-based cries for what we don’t want are often stronger than what we do want, until the pain and fear within us is brought to the surface, experienced fully and released. The process and practice of this healing is what I hope to accomplish here.

This means that as long as we have repressed pain and fear vibrating within us, we will attract situations and relationships of like vibration that will bring this pain or fear into our experience and conscious awareness. For example, if we house a strong fear of abandonment, we will draw a relationship into our experience where we will be abandoned. If we have an obsessive fear of losing our home, we will draw to ourselves a situation where we will lose our home. Everything in this world is built and destroyed through the vibration of our wishes and fears. Our Soul Self, operating with or through these inner vibrations, seems to know unerringly and draws to us, when we are ready, the relationships and situations that can best serve our need to heal our pain and fear and return us to the peace of our Spiritual Home. To assist in this process, our intimate relationships become important mirrors and triggers that bring to the surface the pain and fear we project from within us that need to be healed. In all these situations, it is very difficult to appreciate or accept that the pain and fear we experience has been called forth from within us through our vibrations. It is equally difficult for us to appreciate or use these opportunities for the healing gifts that they provide us. “All things are gently planned by One, (Soul Self) whose only purpose is our good.” (ACIM, L135)

Like it or not, the world we see and experience is a reflection of our own consciousness, a consciousness we vibrate and project onto the screen of our relationships and the situations we encounter here, much like a movie is projected onto a screen. As such, it becomes an opportunity to heal any part of our consciousness, not of love, (the pain & fear) that is being reflected back to us from the mirror of these relationships and experiences in the world. It is as impossible to see and heal our consciousness without some kind of reflection, as it is to comb our hair properly without a mirror. This is why we can never heal alone. This healing is accomplished through learning and applying the process of “Authentic Forgiveness.” “Seek not to change the world, but to change your mind about the world, and the world will then change.” (ACIM)

2. OUR REFLEX REACTION TO THIS EXPERIENCE

Whenever our “pain body” is brought into our conscious experience or awareness, our first response is one of fear-based defense, attack or avoidance. Most often we project the responsibility for the pain and fear we experience onto someone outside us with some form of criticism, judgment, blame or anger. We can also sedate and distract ourselves in any number of ways. In addition to this, we can hold on tight or hold back creating chronic muscle tension and armor. Sometimes we just run away. None of these strategies will release or heal the pain and fear within us. The pain and fear will, in fact, persist and strengthen whenever we defend against or attack it. Our “pain body” feeds, grows and survives on the degree to which we resist, attack or defend against it. “If I attack I suffer. If I forgive, salvation will be given me.” (ACIM.) It is a tragedy how long it seems to take us to change these choices that do nothing but drain our energy and cause various forms of illness, disease and great unhappiness. Whatever we fight against grows in strength. For example, the war on drugs and terrorism in the U.S. has strengthened both the drug trade and the terrorist movement.

3. Gaining Readiness

There will come a time of readiness through suffering where we will turn and face our pain and fear without defense. Through this trembling and courageous act, we find our freedom and inner Peace. Before we can begin to practice “Authentic Forgiveness,” we need to learn better ways to handle the emotional pain and fear that arises within our consciousness, projected onto and played out through the dramas of our relationships and life experiences. Remember, until we give up our resistance and defensive reaction to the pain and fear we encounter within this dream of separation, it will remain unhealed within us and strengthen. Until we allow ourselves to fully experience our pain and fear and find out, it does not destroy us and that it “can have no power over us,” (JG) we will be unable to release it and practice “Authentic Forgiveness.” The steps for healing or releasing our pain and fear and practicing “Authentic Forgiveness” are relatively straightforward and simple. The difficulty arises in developing the awareness of our defenses or destructive reaction at the time and the courage and willingness to give up our reflex, well learned, defensive resistance, attack or retreat. This means becoming defenseless at a time when our well-trained ego response is to defend, attack or retreat while holding in repressed anger. “In my defenseless my safety lies.” (ACIM.W. L.153)

4. Gaining Skills To Experience Pain And Fear

Begin to pay attention to your inner physical body, especially in the area of your stomach, chest and abdomen in an ongoing way. Emotional pain and fear are always felt in the body, usually in these areas. At the same time, and when you go to sleep at night as well, begin to train yourself to relax on your out breath; let go and practice breathing abdominally, more slowly and fully. Place your hands on your abdomen and feel them rise and fall as you breathe in and out. Let go and let yourself sink downward and deeper with every out breath. This is called grounding and it will reduce the fear you experience because it places you fully in the present where all healing energy is.Then, as soon as you begin to feel any kind of pain, fear, upset, or tension within your mind or body, begin to practice this more relaxed and full abdominal breathing. Be sure you let go and sink deeper and deeper on every out breath, into the area of your body where you are experiencing your pain and fear. Learning to breathe abdominally in a relaxed and full way under stress, will take almost a year to learn, but it is a sure gateway to reducing the amount of pain fear and panic you experience. It will also allow you to achieve “authentic forgiveness” more quickly. It is very important that you give into the pain and fear you experience, without resistance. Whatever you resist will always persist and strengthen. Letting go physically into the pain and fear you experience, on every out breath, is the way you accomplish this very difficult task and lessen the pain and fear you feel.

The willingness to experience your fear and pain and suffer through them more fully, will release the unconscious, catastrophic fear you hold that feeling this pain and fear will somehow destroy or hurt you beyond repair. Free from this “false fear factor,” You can then face them with less panic, resistance and defensiveness the next time they arise. This also allows you some time to think and decide how you want to deal more constructively with every fear-based situation you encounter.

5. Preparation

“You do not know the meaning of anything you perceive, not one thought you hold is wholly true. The recognition of this is your firm beginning.” (ACIM.T.C.11.VIII.3)

Although from your ego’s perspective, when the pain and fear within you becomes activated, it will seem like you are being attacked from without and need to defend or attack back, you must begin to appreciate at a very deep level that this is a triggered reflection of the pain and fear within you that cries out to be healed. You must also understand and accept that what your ego perceives at this moment is not real, is not the truth. You are facing a “mirage in the desert.” (JG) There is no need to respond in any way. Also, be very clear that if you attack or defend, you will strengthen this pain and fear within you, the hold it has over you, and lose any chance to release or heal it. By keeping these ideas in mind at all times, you will have the understanding, motivation and determination necessary to set aside your reflex defenses and deal with your activated “pain body” in a more constructive way. Just “accept what is,” (ET) without resistance.

Your pain and fear will be activated as much by your past and future fear-based thoughts as by current situations and relationship issues. Use the same strategy for dealing with all cases when they arise. All are misperceptions of your fear-based ego.

Anger is always a defensive strategy used to cover up fear, control and protect you in situations where you are feeling vulnerable, not in control and threatened. Remember also that anger is always a “cry for love.”
This will make it less threatening for you to deal with when it arises in yourself and others. When we are feeling anger, it becomes necessary to release it and get beneath it in some constructive way. Through this awareness and acceptance, you will be able to discover feelings like helplessness, sadness, despair, loss, etc, beneath your anger. These are the emotions that need to be experienced and healed. Remember, anger is an ego defense, not an emotion. Try releasing it constructively by screaming into a pillow or taking a tennis racket to a mattress or going for a long walk or run. Remember that your anger is just the projected cover-up for your own fear and pain, being reflected back to you for your healing.

Steps In Releasing Pain And Fear

1. If you are feeling anger and blame, identify and express the anger, blame and judgment long enough to find the pain or fear that lies beneath, feelings like sadness, worthlessness, emptiness, oneness, loss, and separation. To achieve this, imagine the person who upset you in an empty chair and express out loud, “I’m hurt and angry that you …… When you did this, I felt…!

2. Keep breathing fully in and out without pause, relaxing and giving into the fear and pain on every out breath. In this way, relax, breathe and surrender into and through any painful feeling as deeply as you can. Experience this pain and fear in your physical body letting go into it as fully as you can on each out breath. Remember, you will usually find the pain and fear located somewhere in your stomach, abdomen, or heart area. If you can, allow yourself to release this pain and fear through tears. The relief will come sooner and the peace you gain as a result will be great. A steady, full, breath of relaxed surrender must flow continually beneath the process of all these steps. There must be a determined willingness and ability to let go and relax into any fear-based tension on every out breath, without resistance or defense.

“Whatever is given to the Holy (Healing) Spirit that is not of God is gone. Yet you must look at it (first) in perfect willingness (without resistance) for otherwise his knowledge remains useless to you.” (ACIM.T.C.12.II.4)

Summary:

Keeping this quote in mind, respond to any fear or pain by breathing and relaxing into it fully on every out breath, without defense or resistance. While you continue to let go fully into the physical experience of your pain and fear and hold it in your consciousness, begin to address it with these words:

“You are an effect projected and caused by my own consciousness. Like any dream, you are an appearance only, not real, with no power over me. (JG) Healing Spirit, I give this appearance of pain and fear to You to dissolve into the nothingness from which it was born.”

Then, let it go, for it is gone! With much practice, your ego’s fear-based hold over your mind will dissolve and the peace of your Eternal Self will awaken fully. To your ego mind this "denial of perception," will appear to make no sense and be insane. If, however, you begin to practice this form of denial or "Authentic Forgiveness" you will come to see through your own personal experience its value and truth. I urge you therefore not to turn away in stubborn disbelief without a willingness to practice my suggestions. Remember always that as soon as you attend to, react or resist any fear-based threat you face, you make it real for you in your dream and give it the power to hurt you. By overlooking or denying its appearance or reality (Authentic Forgiveness) however, you take away it power to hurt you in any way.

What We Achieve Through This Process

The rewards we achieve through this process are monumental. By experiencing the pain and fear of our emotional body and surviving, we eliminate the catastrophic fear we hold concerning its unknown depths that somehow by experiencing this part of us, we will be swept away and permanently hurt or even destroyed. Much of the fear and pain we have experience around our emotions and “pain body,” has come from this catastrophic “fear of the unknown.” Without this fear, we travel through the world with far less defensive armament, much lighter and brighter. Giving up our resistance to feeling our pain and fear reduces chronic muscle tension (armor) and this releases trapped healing energy. This will further dissolve the pain and fear within us that feeds on our resistance and fear of survival. “What we resist persists and strengthens.” With the continued practice of feeling and accepting our emotions we will dissolve all fear around them. Then we can deal with them as a natural and non-threatening part of our human experience. This is what gives us the readiness to begin the ongoing practice of “Authentic Forgiveness” when any pain or fear surfaces within us. This means to accept without judgment, reaction, or resistance and overlook with compassion anything not of Love (fear-based) within our consciousness reflected or activated in our dream of separation here. Through this ongoing denial of our ego dreams, and misperceptions of pain and fear, we slowly awaken from our ego dream to the Peace, Power, Joy, and Love WITHIN US that is our Real Self, our SPIRITUAL IDENTITY.

Foot Notes:
ET: Eckhart Tolle, “The Power Of Now.”
JG: Joel Goldsmith, “The Infinite Way.”

Author:
David Ott, M.Ed. November 21, 2014
http://www.peakrecovery.com