One of the most direct ways to transform your life is to let go of the past. Many people try to let go of painful memories or forget the past. Another option is to let go of emotional wounds from the past.
Emotions are different from thoughts. Emotions are experienced in the body. According to Candace Pert (who wrote the Molecules of Emotion: The Science Behind Mind-Body Medicine and appeared in the movie, What the BLEEP Do We Know!?), your brain produces chemical messengers or neuropeptides. These neuropeptides attach to cells through out your body. Feeling an emotion is the result of these chemicals interacting with your cells.
In an ideal world you experience an emotion and release it. When a child is unable to feel an emotion and release it, the emotion becomes stuck in the mind and body. Over time these stuck emotions can build up in your cells preventing you from experiencing life affirming emotions.
Releasing painful emotions one at a time can seem like a daunting task for many people. There is an easier way. Over time your emotions become organized into your emotional personality, your emotional identity and your limiting beliefs. These do not represent your true self; this is your false or mask self. This mask self may reflect traumatic events from your past.
Emotional Personality
Your emotional personality describes your relationship with the world and other people. You have a basic way of interacting with the world and other people that is independent of the situation.
This relationship is best described by a short phrase or question. Here are some examples:
Everything is going to be okay.
Do you like me?
What do I need to do next?
I am never satisfied.
How can I be respected?
Some people know their personality question or phrase. If you don’t know or you are unsure, you can discover your emotional personality by examining the most common emotions you feel on a typical day. Pick 5 to 7 of the most common emotions you feel each day. Ask yourself: How are these emotions connected? Is there a common thread? Now, turn this common thread into a short question or phrase. You will know the right one by the way it resonates in your mind and body. It just feels right. This is your emotional personality.
Emotional Identity
Your emotional identity describes your relationship with yourself. Every time you refer to yourself, you have an emotion. These emotions taken together create your false identity.
You can discover your false identity by examining the emotions connected to your name and the personal pronouns you use (I, me, myself, etc.). Every time you say “I” or your name you experience an emotion. We have become so accustomed to these emotions that we don’t even notice them.
Most of us have mixed emotions about ourselves. For example, we may feel confident when we say “I” and unsure when we say “we.” Mixed feelings limit us. Motivation is a problem when we can’t decide if we are confident or unsure. All of your self referral emotions come together to create your false identity.
Limiting Beliefs
Beliefs are a combination of a thought and an emotion. The stronger the emotion, the stronger the belief. Many of our limiting beliefs were formed in early childhood when we had limited experience of the world. We can also inherit beliefs from our family.
The beliefs you want to investigate are the ones that limit you. Common limiting beliefs include:
I’m not good enough.
I’m not worthy.
I’m not lovable.
I’m not smart enough.
These beliefs are false and do not reflect your true self.
How does your false self limit you?
May (not her real name) seemed to have everything going for her. She had a wonderful family and a good job, yet she always felt like a fake. She worried that other people would not like her if they really knew her.
She discovered that her emotional personality was: “Do you like me?” She constantly worried that other people did not like her. Most of her emotional identity was positive, except for “me.” When she thought or said “me” she felt like a little kid who had been caught doing something wrong. Having a mixed identity caused her to second guess herself. Decision making was a problem. Her main limiting belief was: “I am never good enough.”
When May released her false personality, identity and limiting beliefs she was amazed at how good she felt. She was able to feel more love from her family and found it easier to show her love. Decision making was easier. She felt more confident at work.
How you can reclaim your life.
Once you have identified your false personality, identity, and limiting beliefs the next step is to release the associated emotions. You will find that these emotions are from the past and may have been formed at a young age.
One method to release these emotions is to use the process, described in my post, “3 Steps to Releasing a Painful Past.” I call this method the poetry of emotion process because you will be working with metaphors, not facts, and using the part of your brain that dreams.
Limiting emotions from the past do not need to define you. You are much more wonderful than you realize.
Donna Weber, M.A., LPC is an emotional change consultant. Her goal is to help you release emotional wounds, reclaim your true self, and start living the life you dream about. To find more information and self-help techniques, visit her web site: www.ReclaimYourTrueEmotions.com.