Many women encounter this problem but never share it with anybody. It feels strange and stupid to complain about being successful or managing a great company. But this is not something that you should be ashamed of. We know a lot of good reasons why you feel this way. And yes, feelings are not bad, either. Your first step towards dealing with this problem is to analyze the root of unhappiness – and then take actions accordingly.
You don’t have plans for “after” – you were planning and taking strategic actions with one focus – getting there. You are a thriving expert and you need to be challenged. Probably this is your biggest fear – the loss of challenges. You can find a lot more things to focus your energy on but you might lack the motivation. You might need to find a new goal, a more personal - but don’t think it’s that easy. You have been following your previous one for a long time – probably more than 15 years. It’s not easy to just choose something new you want to achieve. You are not the same person that you used to be 15 years ago – you’ve changed and it’s normal for your decision making process to be different. But are you willing to accept this fact?
It’s different than what you expected – a cognitive bias is not an unusual thing. It’s really disturbing, I know, because you are used to having a lot of energy. The gap between your expectations and the reality might not be too big but is still demotivating. What you need is to take a deep breath and evaluate – does this mean that you don’t really like where you’re at? Do you want change or are you willing to go on and make this position fit your expectations? It’s up to you.
It’s designed to fit men better than women – and this is not your fault. It’s really common – the definition of success is a good suit, export cigars, matured drinks and young companions. But this idea doesn’t fit the women success definition. You want to keep on winning and not just bragging with being good. You want meaningful success and not meaningless achievements. Women simply want to define success on their own terms. You all need to accept that you have different perceptions of success and express them.
That was not your goal.- Did you go with the flow and follow the path that everyone was drawing ahead of you? Or maybe you wanted to make someone proud? Or prove that you can do it? If this wasn’t your genuine path, the one that you chose for yourself, it’s no wonder that you have a problem finding your comfort here. This might be your biggest problem. You have been a real leader by playing by the rule of others so far but now you feel disconnected and that something is missing. This is not what you wanted after all… This is the time to evaluate, regroup and draw another strategy – if you need help, hire a Women Success Expert or an executive coach – someone who understands and can help you re-define success on your own terms and be who you are wherever you are.
People around you don’t appreciate your success.- Sometimes we all need a little push, a pat on the shoulder to let us know we are doing great: a friend to listen, a mentor to guide us. We also need support – and understanding. Is your family unhappy about your achievement? Are there people around you who are jealous of your success? Let them know how you feel – the ones who are genuinely happy might not know how to show it. The others – those who can’t accept you being better than them – are just not right for your life.
You feel like you didn’t deserve it. It’s strange that everyone else but yourself knows how capable you are. It’s possible that you use this reason as a shield – you have other concerns that might fit the problems listed above. Or another – personal insecurities based on some previous experiences. It’s important to focus and find what makes you feel like this – this will take you closer to solving the problem. What should you do if you realize you are facing one of the mentioned problems? Make new strategic plans, reevaluate your goals and find what stops you from being content with the results. You might need help from someone who has faced similar situation – this is when a professional executive coach is of a great value.
Belinda MJ. Brown is a Women Success Expert, the CEO of two organizations: Equanimity Executive and Total Alignment Partners.
Born and raised in France, she moved to the United States in 2007. She brings her extensive experience working across multiple male dominated industries in different cultures. In 2011, she decides to become a Certified Professional Coach and Associate Certified Coach with the ICF.
She developed a passion for partnering with women leaders and executives after decades working particularly with men. Belinda helps women leaders to successfully enhance their performance in a wide range of areas including leadership, communication skills, lifestyle and organizational culture.
Her expertise resides in her ability to guide her clients through a powerful process she has designed. This journey leads them to define success on their own terms so they can BE who they are wherever they are.
http://www.equanimityexecutive.com/women-success-factor-course