Sometimes you know something needs to change, but maybe it’s something big and you’re not even sure where to start, let alone every step you will need to take. Maybe it seems too big and like if you aren’t able to do it “all” then it’s not worth doing anything. Maybe it seems impossible and too overwhelming.
Maybe some days you are able to focus on how far you’ve come, but then there will be other days, and I believe almost all of us have those days, where your mind gets busy focusing on the negative, and you feel like you haven’t done anything and haven’t gotten anywhere. In those moments, you may wonder whether you should even bother trying.
Most people have a lot of trouble making a major change all in one moment. It’s possible. Some people do it, but it’s not common. If you’ve spent years with a certain habit, it’s not likely easy to give up just like that, cold turkey.
This is true whether the habit is the way you eat, your exercise habits, your punctuality, the way you think, the way you respond to any given situation.
It’s not about judging yourself and your past behaviour. It’s not about feeling so guilty about the past and what you’ve done that you can’t move forward. It’s not about feeling like you “should” be somewhere else by now or doing things differently now, and then beating yourself up about it since you’re not.
It’s also not about imagining the future and feeling like it’s impossible to always live with this new, more positive and healthier habit. It would likely seem overwhelming and too difficult.
The key is focus on the right now. You’ve likely heard about living in the moment, and that is definitely a part of this.
But there’s even more. The key is also to focus on your next choice right now. When you are in a similar situation, what will you choose? The chocolate or the cucumber? Or maybe it’s a few small bites of chocolate or the whole bar? Is it exercising – even 5-10 minutes – or watching that TV show? Or one that’s especially challenging for me sometimes – going to bed or checking your email one more time or watching just those few more minutes of TV?
It’s not about making that massive, possibly unsustainable change. It’s all about that next small choice.
What will you choose?
Elizabeth Spevack is the founder of Heart and Soul Living. Elizabeth specializes in empowering women by helping them believe in themselves and be true to who they are. Her passion is helping women who long to be more realize they are more than enough even when they are not perfect and to help them dream big and take steps towards their unlikeliest of goals. Through questioning, listening and encouraging, she helps women realize that they are not alone on their personal journey.
Having lived with anxiety and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder for years, Elizabeth loves to connect deeply with others and help them break down the walls that have been holding them back.
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