One of the best pieces of relationship advice I can give is to work on your relationship with yourself first and always... Your inner world dictates what happens around you and how others react to you.
The kinder your inner critic becomes, the kinder you are to your partner and everyone else in your life too. It can be so easy to get upset with your loved one over trivial things. Yet how often do you hold your ground just because you feel upset? Granted, it can be a tricky energy to shift.
It is important to remember that you are not your feelings and you are not your thoughts - you are an eternal creator being with the power to grow and change in any way you truly wish. Even though your feelings create your actions most of the time, you always have the power to change them!
When you move towards forgiveness, you get your life-force back. Forgive to be in that joyous feeling of love - even if it is only with yourself - or, especially to be in love with yourself! But how? - How do you forgive and let go when you have that seething anger, heavy hatred or dull disconnection overwhelming your senses?
By noticing it. By willing yourself to take action next time you are stuck in anger. Ask yourself, "Do I really want to be mean, rather than kind?, Do I actually want to be angry?" Sometimes the answer is a firm "YES!" And that's OK.
Notice the anger, and allow it to be, whilst breathing and leaning your heart towards the feeling - without trying to change it at all. Simply let it be and send it love. If you believe in Angels you might ask your guides to help transmute the energy from darkness into light. Your goal is to accept the feeling and let your emotions know they are completely valid and that you understand them.
Your next step is to ask again... But to ask the four magic words that work every time, "May I be happy?" Asked silently in your mind, you might feel an interesting shift occur. Sometimes it's subtle at first, but keep gently asking... "May I be happy?"
Usually a little thought comes back, and says something like... "Well, I guess..... Maybe... Why not?" Keep repeating, relaxing your heart towards the experience and before too long a significant shift occurs. The little thought will become more enthusiastic as you are allowing yourself to consider joy. Because isn't it your greatest goal in this world is to live in joy and happiness. This is where the magic happens and your dreams come true!
The more times you do this, the quicker the anger will dissolve. This is important for your relationship because then you can make clearer decisions about what to do next... Sometimes it might be to simply say sorry and other times, it will allow you to have a real talk to your partner about your boundaries and give clear rules of how you wish to be treated. This is something that happens most effectively from a place of clarity, which goes hand in hand with peace and joy.
If this resonates with you, we would love to hear how you handle anger and arguments? What are the wonderful ways you have found to bring yourself back into joy, kindness and clarity? Comment below to share the love!
With Love and Appreciation
Kai Ashley
Kai Ashley is one of The World's leading experts in healing and transformation. She specializes in helping leaders who have a big vision to make the world a better place and want to make great money doing so!
Kai uses a unique mix of Deep EFT and breathwork that gives extremely powerful results for her clients, often where nothing else has worked before.
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