The holiday season is upon you. This can be a challenging time if you are single. Invitations to parties are flooding your mailbox. Various television channels seem to devote their entire lineup with movies depicting Santa bringing single women their true love. Jewelry stores are airing commercials showing husbands buying wives big shiny objects. Food companies are playing mind games too by showing how much fun it is to bake cookies with children and create enormous feasts for family and friends. Then there are the commercials showing you where to pick out the perfect ornament for your perfect tree. All this can send your head spinning and make you feel a bit down in the dumps if you are single. You may find yourself feeling isolated and alone. Oh and the final blow to your ego; let’s not forget your email is being flooded with discount offers from Match.com, eHarmony, Senior Singles and more.
From experience I have noticed this is the time of year that singles make dumb dating choices. I don’t want you to wake up in March with regrets. November through February are filled with events for couples. No one wants to attend holiday parties alone. No one wants to spend New Year’s Eve, the Super Bowl, or Valentine’s Day alone. This is the time of year when people settle for less than true love so they don’t have to be alone during the holidays. I want you to take an honest look at my tips below and see if you are guilty of committing any of them in the past.
Tips to Remember when Dating During the Holidays
1. Remember: There is nothing wrong with being single during the holidays. It is better to be single than in a fake relationship.
2. Watch out for the person that only wants a date during the holidays. Ask about past relationships. It is ok to ask the person what they want – do they just want a date for holiday parties or do they want a relationship.
3. Don’t lower your dating standards during the holidays: Don’t let holiday party invitations cause you to act desperate and settle for less than you deserve.
4. Don’t spend excessive amounts of money on your new date for Christmas presents. I recommend you don’t buy each other gifts.
5. Actively listen: Pay attention to the little thing – like what he or she isn’t saying i.e. excessive drinking, selfish behavior, letting you pays for everything, complaining about child support etc... Don’t settle for the guy or gal that can’t or won’t say “I’m sorry” or that won’t communicate.
6. Keep your eyes open: Actions speak louder than words. Watch out for the person that blames you for his bad behavior. This is the person that turns the tables and makes it your fault.
7. It takes two people to make a relationship work. Don’t be the only one working on it. What is your walk away point? It is ok to end a relationship during the holidays.
8. Don’t compromise your safety. Follow your intuition. Be careful of the person that immediately professes to be in love with you and then asks for money.
9. Keep busy – whether it is staying home alone reading or writing or being with friends – no pity party allowed.
Now that you have reviewed the list and self reflected on past holiday relationships I want you to promise you will make wise choices when dating during the holidays. Singles can enjoy the holidays. When you implement my Nine Tips for Holiday Dating Safety you will have more money in your bank account, remember your self-worth, and have no regrets in March. Remember, there is nothing wrong with being single during the holidays.
Coach Jaynine is the author of Attract Love Keep Love. As a retired United States Marine and former psychotherapist she actively listens to what you are not saying and designs a coaching program specifically for you. Are you ready to take action to turn your dreams into reality? When you work with Coach Jaynine you are guaranteed to have her undivided attention as you work together on achieving your goals. Your success is her business! Visit her online store at www.coachforthemilitary.com to download your copy of Attract Love Keep Love today.