Self love; this is a powerful practice we explored last month. We have heard often how crucial it is to our authentic success and joy. There is one very insidious trap that sabotages self love; something many of us may be all too familiar with… Comparing…
Have you ever found that you compare yourself to others and either feeling “more than or less than”? Most of us have participated in this no win thinking. We can always find someone more accomplished or better off than we are in our subjective mind and someone not doing as well. Notice how you feel when you are in this patterned thought behavior. Those comparisons and the associated feelings are actually toxic to our own well-being.
According to Eric Hoffer, an American philosopher and author, “No matter what our achievements might be, we think well of ourselves only in rare moments. We need other people to bear witness against our inner judge, who keeps book on our shortcomings and transgressions. We need other people to convince us that we are not as bad we think we are.”
When we look outside ourselves for validation, we loose. When we confirm that we are not worthy by comparing ourselves to another, we loose. Yet most people habitually look to others for validation.
If you are in a habit of this, hit your internal pause button next time you notice yourself comparing yourself to anyone. Notice how you feel. Usually there is not a sense of peace. There is a great saying that, “Comparison is the death of joy” ~anonymous.
You and I are not here to compare ourselves to anyone else. We could say that we are here to compare the difference between how we are BEing now and who we truly are. We can compare ourselves to our own progress and get curious about what we are learning about ourselves…the things we love and our shadow side as well.
Each person is a unique expression. No one in the world can do a better job of BEing YOU than YOU. Imitation is not true flattery.
Let’s practice this week and remember to hit our internal pause button if we find ourselves in this toxic habit. We can just say, “I can be more today than I was yesterday. I am choosing to have my own personal best day. I choose peace!
You Are Incomparable!
As a certified coach and Life Mastery Consulant, Valerie has trained and mentored with some of the elite mentors in the field of personal development.