Fifty Gates

I turned 50 years old last night, the fourth night of Chanukah. Debbie had presented me with a list of extravagant gluten-free desserts and offered to make the one of my choice.

Having difficulty with decisions regarding Debbie’s treats, I told her that for such an important birthday, it would only be proper for her to make all of the desserts offered.

I was joking, kind of, but Debbie as always, generous beyond measure, agreed to make all of them and to invite a few of my favorite people to share my special treats.

The few people turned out to be more than 65. Friends, more like siblings than friends, flew in from Los Angeles, Boca Raton, Palm Beach and St. Louis. One has been a friend/brother since 1974. There were people from practically every stage of my adult life.

Each and every person there had gone out of their way to help me in good times and bad, and had shared in joyous times, illness, suffering, and life-changing decisions. I would not be where or who I am if not for them.

I was so moved by the people who cared enough to come and share the moment, and steal some of my desserts,

which they claimed were “just,” (sorry! I couldn’t resist) that I barely had time to eat any of my treats. (I did offer to manage all the leftovers, and have been granted the 24 hours of my birthday to add a few pounds.)

We were gathered in our living room, where we also host a minyan for Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. Just before the obligatory speech I recalled the last time I had spoken in the room, just before Neilah.

At that time I reflected on gates that are in the process of closing. Before and during Neilah, we tend to picture ourselves standing outside the gates, and their closing as a loss of opportunity. What if, I asked, rather than standing outside the gates, we were standing inside? We could picture the gates as protecting us and all we gained over Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur.

I always picture the closing gates of Neilah as holding me in the courtyards of prayer and Teshuva. I don’t see them as shutting me out, because I have learned through, what many consider, great suffering, that God never closes the Heavenly Gates before us.

Gates represent new opportunities. A slave, who refuses to accept an opportunity for freedom, has his ear pieced on a gate! The Heavenly gates close us in when we need protection, but they constantly open toward more opportunities.

50 represents the 50 Gates of Binah – Understanding. Turning 50 is all about recognizing when the Gates of Opportunity are open wide, inviting us to step through them into even better places.

I have walked through many gates, but I was never alone. Each one of the people who came to steal some of my desserts, and the many who could not come but were there in spirit, had held my arm and helped me walk through every one of those gates.

Thanks for being there with me and for me. I see the gates opening once again: Walk with me.