There may be a difference of opinion on the exact number but there is no doubt that the divorce rate in this country is outrageously high.
It's so out of control that one person in California is gathering signatures in an effort to have a referendum on banning divorce.
Will it work? Not even a little bit. If by some chance it gets on the ballot and voters support it there is no way two people who have had enough of each other are going to remain together.
Many marriages start off with such hope and promise. Both parties are committed to each other and vow to make it work "for better or worse". And then it is over.
What went wrong? While there not be a one size fits all answer the following reasons rank very highly.
1. Money
It seems like there is never enough. When one bill is paid here comes another. It doesn't help that the spouses have two different mindsets when it comes to money. One wants to save and the other wants to spend. It seems like a problem that could be resolved but unfortunately it drives a wedge between many couples that just gets wider and more difficult to overcome as time goes on.
2. The Thrill Is Gone
When they started dating they couldn't keep their hands off each other. Ditto for the early years of the marriage. But somewhere along the way things cooled off dramatically. Where before there was a wonderful excitement when they looked at each other now all the two of them can muster is an indifferent shrug of the shoulders. It is not long before both parties are looking elsewhere to find that thrill.
3. Change You Cannot Believe In
They accepted each other for who they were. Then as the marriage went on they decided their spouse could use a tune up. More to the point they discovered that their spouse was not perfect so the best thing they could do is remold that person to exactly what they wanted them to be. Of course they told themselves they were doing it for the spouse's own good. Needless to say it did not work.
4. Separate Lives
Different work schedules and family responsibilities take priority. The promise to set aside time for each other keeps getting postponed until both spouses drop the pretense. Separate lives exist because consciously or not neither party is making the effort to reconnect. Separate lives just like the thrill is gone eventually lead to outside interest.
5. The Outsiders
People outside the marriage never warmed up to the idea of this couple being together. So they plant some seeds of doubt and do some behind the scenes sabotage. A well placed negative word here combined with some lingering doubt can be quite powerful. This kind of destruction is made easier if the couple is experiencing some tough times within their relationship and is not taking the necessary steps to come together and compare notes.
For more information about divorce and the seven ways to save your marriage please visit The Relationship Tip. Article written by Daryl Campbell.