How to Stop Being a Victim of Your Own Stress - Part 3

True Forgiveness and the Benefits

When you practice true forgiveness, you get in touch with your Higher Self and you are willing to see with its eyes through the false images of your ego. You accept that your Higher Self sees the person you are angry with, as their true essence, unconditional love, unending peace, expanding joy and in Oneness at all times. You accept this about yourself as well. You remember that you are never upset for what you think you are upset about. You recognize the reflection of what is unconsciously in your ego. You agree to allow your Higher Self to shine healing light and remove those thoughts from your mind.

While true forgiveness is simple, it is not easy. It’s not easy, because we have been operating with our ego for so long that this change of perspective is uncomfortable and our ego hates it. Our ego loves to blame and does not want to be found out.

The benefits of practicing true forgiveness are endless and lead to inner peace, love and joy. Stress is dramatically reduced and at times eliminated.

For a real example we will look at my repeated story of my ex-husband cheating on me. The whole experience of my marriage falling apart and going through a divorce was extremely traumatic, painful, embarrassing, and of course, I was the perfect wife who was victimized by the whole affair. I won’t go into the gory details, but I can assure you it was not a pleasant experience.

For years I replayed numerous stories in my head. Some were all the things I wish I had said, some were all the things I wish I had not said, and some were all the mean things I wish I had done. Some involved my ex husband and some involved the other woman. My mind was swimming day and night. My sleep was disrupted, I lost a lot of weight since I could not eat, and at times I felt depressed and my stress was through the roof.

What was going on here was that I was trapped in my past and I could not get out. My ego was in full gear, and I was blaming my ex husband and the other woman for how my life had turned out. Poor me.

It was years later I learned true forgiveness and began using the process to heal my open wounds, hidden hates and grudges.

My Higher Self revealed to me the illusion of lack I held in my unconscious ego mind, this said to me that I did not deserve love. I released this thought to my Higher Self to shine light on my ego and the false thoughts about myself. I forgave my ex husband and myself. I accepted in both of us that in truth, at our very essence of being, we are only love, peace, and joy. I kept using true forgiveness until I felt peace filling me. Each time I slipped back, I did the process again.

At first and very slowly, my repeated stories became less intense and then they totally slipped away. I still had gut reactions to things associated with my ex husband, like his name, songs we liked, or places we visited so I applied true forgiveness to these as well. Like the stories, these too disappeared into nothingness.

I began experiencing peace, my life blossomed again, my fear of running into him evaporated, happiness filled me and I was not afraid any more.

I can look back and see that each time I repeated my stories in my mind it was like pouring alcohol on an open wound. My ego in wanting to blame my ex husband kept me distracted so that I would not see the unconscious false image of “not deserving love”, that I had created about myself.

In practicing true forgiveness with my Higher Self, my open wound was gently healed with love and light. It was healed slowly each time I was willing to see all of us as unconditional love, unending peace and expanding joy. This took time as I made a commitment to myself to be willing to listen to my Higher Self and let go of the false images from my ego.

The Practice of True Forgiveness

To experience the benefits of true forgiveness, make a commitment to yourself to practice anytime you feel stressed. Be willing to allow your Higher Self to lead you in seeing beyond all false images. Below are the explained steps to assist you in practicing true forgiveness.

First, take a step back and get yourself into a calm state. Once you feel you are calm and somewhat relaxed, state to yourself that you have received a false image of the person and/or the situation from your ego. Next, state to yourself that you choose to give up these false images to your Higher Self to heal your ego thoughts. State to yourself in truth you are only love, peace and joy. Finally, you acknowledge yourself that you want to align your thoughts with your Higher Self in peace. Now just let it all go.

Steps in first person
1. I have received a false image of (name) and/or (situation) from my ego, this is not true
2. I give this false image up to my Higher Self to heal these thoughts in my mind
3. In truth (name) and I are One in love, peace and joy
4. I choose to align my thoughts with my Higher Self in peace

Write steps 1-4 down on index cards and place them in locations that you can remember to use. I had one by my computer at work and one in my meditation room. This helped me until I could memorize the steps.

Begin by taking small steps with practicing. Be aware that you may feel some resistance from your ego at first. That is normal, be kind to yourself. Take is slow, but try it. You may be surprised that the next time something reminds you of that old grudge and you simply don’t react. A small smile begins to form with an inner knowing of peace. Namaste.