Human beings are, of course, quite complicated, and they don’t stop being complicated when they punch their time card. People bring all their shortcomings, issues, insecurities, problems and straight out weirdness with them to the office place. You need to be prepared of all the complexities of the human animal when you at work. One of the most difficult emotions to deal with at the office is jealousy. So how do you deal with someone that is envious of you at the office? It can be tricky, but with the right approach, you can keep a jealous person from ruining your day.
It is important to remember that most jealousy is directly derived from insecurity. The problem is that you can’t either stop shining at work to keep others from being jealous or stop being you, can you? What then are your options? Let’s take a close look at how you can deal with a jealous coworker.
As we mentioned, jealousy is linked to insecurity. It is important to realize that most insecure feelings are originally derived from fear. Your first step is to attempt to determine what it is about you that your coworker fears. Put yourself in their “shoes” and see what comes to mind. If you can figure out a clear reason why they might be afraid of you, then you can start taking steps to nullify that fear. For example, you can start making simple statements to change this person's mind about the situation and start to feel better about him or herself in the process.
But sometimes you may not be able to find the root of their fear and, in this case, it may be loathing instead of fear that you are dealing with, and that issue can be trickier to tame. Yet, if you can locate the source of the fear, you still have a great deal of useful information at your disposal. Your next step is to take measures to reduce their fear of you.
Since so much fear can be distilled down to a fear of the unknown, so you may find that it is helpful to make attempts for your jealous coworker to know more about you. A direct attempt at friendship isn’t always a good idea. Instead, try “leaking” information slowly to your coworker. Allow him or her to overhear or learn information that shows you in a more human and vulnerable light. Keep in mind that this strategy shouldn't mean revealing information your co-worker could use against you. Simply reveal information that shows you are indeed human and thus less of a threat.
Dr. Madeline Ann Lewis is the President/CEO of the Executive Women’s Success Institute (www.exwsi.com) in Maryland. She is a career strategist, speaker, trainer, consultant and the author of Finding Your Best Inside: How to Become the Person You Are Meant to Be and Playing from the Blue Tee: Women in the Federal Government. Reach her by e-mail at info@executivewomenssuccessinstitute.com.