No matter where you are on your journey to romance there is always a reason to get more love in your life. The magical thing about love is that it’s free; you can’t buy it, trade it or win it in a lottery. Love is an action you extend to others that benefits you more than it does them.
So why do so many of us resist what might help us get more love in our lives? You might not think you keep love at arms length but if you give yourself a reality check, you’ll probably find that you are. The ways we do this are subtle and many times subconscious. It takes asking yourself the hard questions and making changes that take you out of your comfort zone.
1. Do you find yourself being overly judgmental?
We may not be aware of how often we judge others harshly. Mother Teresa says, “If you judge other people you have no time to love them.” Our judgment blocks the free flow of feelings that connect us to each other. We end up giving that person a certain “place” and importance in our lives, limiting the possibilities of what could unfold.
In order to stop judging and love more we must first become aware that we are. Try to listen to the dialogue you’re having with yourself about how other people look or act. When you realize that you’re just telling yourself a story about them you can catch yourself.
We will never be able to completely stop judgment; it is part of our survival. But we can fight the tendency and learn to look at people with kinder eyes.
2. Do you express your love to others?
Some of us grew up with parents who never said, “I love you.” Some of us grew up with parents who said it so much that it lost its meaning. Whatever your background, you have to cultivate your own language of love and become comfortable expressing it to others.
I had the tendency to want to withhold my love for a special man, so I found that when that man came into my life it was awkward and strange for me to express my feelings. I had to teach myself to share love in ways other than in romance. I had to learn that love is never wasted.
At the bottom of my emails you will see my favorite quote by Henry David Thoreau, “There is no remedy for love but to love more.”
You can do a simple meditation of closing your eyes and focusing you awareness on your heart center. Let yourself feel the love in your heart and imagine sending it out to anyone you know who is in need. As you project your love outward this way it will change your vibration and draw more love back to you. It will also give you a greater sense of peace and fulfillment that comes from you taking the action of loving.
3. Do you always look for the good?
Have you ever been called a “Pollyanna?” It’s supposedly a derogatory term that’s meant to put someone who has a positive attitude in their place. Negative people don’t like being around positive people, it makes them even more irritable and unhappy. Why? Misery loves company.
If you cultivate the ability to find the good in your experiences, no matter how difficult, you’ll find yourself more open to love. Looking for the best in everything creates a sense of appreciation and gratitude within you that is a magnet for love.
Don’t be afraid of being judged by others for being a positive person. It’s a choice you make that will profoundly affect the quality of your life. Negative feelings of blame, guilt and remorse make your life smaller and sad.
Ultimately, we all want to get more love.
Love feels good. It’s expansive and opens your heart. Let yourself be a conduit for love to flow through you and watch how beautifully you’ll be supported as you go through life.
Virginia Clark (aka Virginia Feingold Clark) has coached hundreds of woman by helping them to uncover their blocks to love and marriage. With over 12 years of experience as a successful Certified Hypnotherapist, she is an expert on the power of the subconscious mind and its ability to transform one's love life.
Virginia met her husband in her mid 40s, and has now has been married to the love of her life for twelve years. Her years of struggle and desperation as a single woman have given her a unique insight into what it takes to find your true love and create the marriage of your dreams.
Her past experiences as an actress and founder of a theatre company in Boston and the owner of her own successful personnel agency in Los Angeles has given her insight into both the corporate world and the Arts. She was also a leader in a spiritual community where she gave guidance on love and life problems for 19 years.
She holds a M.F.A. degree from Brandeis University in Theatre and was chosen to be one of the Pioneering Nine — the first women ever invited to attend Dartmouth College. They would later be hailed as the women who sparked the movement that turned the entrenched, all male Ivy League school co-ed.
Virginia’s direct approach and natural intuition gives her clients just what they need to create powerful breakthroughs in their romantic relationships.
She works with women who are in troubled relationships as well as with single women who are looking for their Mr. Right. She helps women find true love throughout the United States as well as internationally.