Finding out your man carried on an affair is generally a distressing reality for any woman. You don't want to believe it is true. When you realize that it really is it feels as though you are in a very bad dream.
All of the expectations for a wonderful marital relationship are no longer. Everything the two of you built together is destroyed. It is not fair to the other family members but in particular it isn't fair toward you. Because of your husband's selfishness it's you who has to take the full impact.
And now comes one of the toughest parts of this whole ordeal which is confronting your unfaithful husband. A part of you dreads this more than anything. It is truly scary having to face somebody you love and state an unpleasant truth.
On the flip side there's part of you that is definitely ready and waiting to make sure they know precisely what they did as well as the way it has impacted you for the worst.
Needless to say there is also a lot of stored up rage that needs to be let out and the fact that your husband had an affair makes him the perfect target.
But be careful not to make these mistakes whenever the one on one encounter occurs.
1. Insufficient Evidence
You over heard, you assumed, your own intuition told you, a family member told you something they think they saw or you simply put two and two together are not sufficient.
When you are confronting an unfaithful husband you need to be absolutely certain that you can prove what you are accusing him of doing.
Intuition is not proof. Eyewitnesses have been known to be wrong (especially when they do not like your spouse in the first place) and stringing together a few ideas means nothing if your starting equation is faulty.
Therefore assemble concrete facts. Whether lipstick on their collar, an incriminating email or phone message or perhaps you catch your mate in the act the aim is to obtain proof.
If you feel this might be too much for you then think about working with a reputable private investigator. Just be sure that whenever the moment comes to confront your spouse you're equipped to back up your charges.
2. Emotions Control Reaction
Needless to say you're upset and you wish to give it to your husband. But nevertheless losing all control is not going to get it done. Allowing your feelings to take command will often make things a lot worse than they are.
They could also prompt your spouse to manipulate the situation and reaffirm to themselves why exactly he carried on an affair in the first place.
As hard as it might be you must take a step back and provide the facts similar to a researcher. Preserve a certain amount of space.
Staying in control of your emotions will have a dynamic impact on you as well as your spouse.
3. Looking To Anticipate Their Reaction
You think you know precisely what makes your husband tick. After all he and you have been with each other for many years. So you expect a certain reaction. And then suddenly he fools you by reacting in a manner you never saw coming.
It takes you by surprise and the next thing you realize he has taken complete control of the situation or all those intense feelings that you had come to the surface.
Instead don't anticipate. Prepare for any and all responses and in this way you will not be shocked at anything that happens. You have to stay in charge of the encounter.
Your mate had an extramarital affair. In doing so there is absolutely no way to know where his mind is. Therefore be ready for anything that comes your way.
For more info on confronting an unfaithful mate go to surviving an affair