Clients who are divorcing or just divorced frequently find it is very difficult to get through the weekends, especially at first. That was a "together" time where things were done as a couple or as a family.
Here are five tips to help you adjust to a different lifestyle:
1) Have a plan in place for either Saturday or Sunday by the Wednesday before.
What movie have you and/or the kids wanted to see? add lunch before or dinner after. If it's just you, how about two movies? What about a trip to a local museum, either alone or one where the children can participate in hands-on? If you are an empty-nester and its feasible, plan a day with your son or daughter where ever they are. What about a visit to a day spa for a massage or just pampering? Perhaps plan a hike either with or without the children. Make a picnic in a beautiful spot in warm weather; don't think you can picnic when it's cold? Bundle up and bring chairs to sit on rather than a blanket! You may be lucky enough to find an area with fire pits! Look for a local small theater that will offer either a matinée or night out to see a play or a comedy show. Have other single friends? How about a games night at your place? Have everyone bring a snack and their favorite game.
2) Your friends want to support you. Take advantage of that.
Invite them for dinner. Invite yourself to dinner at their house! (you'd be surprised at how delighted a friend is when you call up and say "Hey, I'd like to come by on Saturday! Can I bring a pizza and we'll hang out?" ) Make plans to drive to see a long-distance friend and if possible stay overnight with them.
3) Plan a day trip.
Almost everyone lives within reasonable driving distance to some "fun" area, whether it is the ocean, a lake, a skiing spot or a city with all sorts of possibilities. Boutiques for browsing, restaurants, book stores, arcades, trails... endless possibilities in all these spots. Check out your local recreation department; they frequently have bus trips planned and the fees are generally affordable.
4) Have a pajama day.
Who says you can't have a day where you don't get dressed, you just stay cozy in your sleepwear and watch movies or read a book? It will be a nice change of pace from getting up early, rushing to get dressed and out the door. Nowhere to be, nothing to do but just hang out at home. The kids may think it's fun, too. When has Mom or Dad said "DON'T get dressed!"
5) Take a class.
Many local school systems offer classes in all sorts of things from honing computer skills to drawing, painting and even ceramics, usually at very reasonable cost. Find a dance studio and learn swing, salsa, ballroom or even tap dance! Check out local grocery and culinary supply stores... there are often classes that you can either participate in or just watch the chef demonstrate and enjoy the fruits of his or her labor!
Life goes on after divorce, it just goes on differently... and "different" doesn't always mean "bad"...
Judy Mastracchio is a certified life coach specializing in supporting individuals through divorce and is completing course study to become a Certified Divorce Coach in 2013.
Smith Barlay has a wild passion of IT, especially IT Certifications, IT Exams, Internet, Searchengine Optimization techniques and Social Media.