***Michael Jackson: An Unfortunate Example of "What You Resist, Persists"

I was not surprised to learn in recent interviews with Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, former close confidante to Michael Jackson, that Michael lost the will to live. He was embarrassed to go out in public. He had mutilated his face so much through unnecessary plastic surgery that he thought he looked like "a lizard". All of his face enhancement procedures were in a desperate desire to look like someone who could be loveable. The more he resisted his misguided feelings of inadequacy the more inadequate he felt about himself.

"What you resist persists." – Carl Jung

As phenomenally talented as he was, all he saw when he looked in the mirror was ugliness. What he wanted most was to be loved. Oh, he was idolized by fans, then criticized and finally, laughed at for being "Wacko Jacko". In the taped conversations between Rabbi Boteach and Michael Jackson, Michael reveled that he wrapped his self validation around his physical appearance. Here again, he completely discounts his natural talents and tremendous gift to the world. For Michael, if he didn't look like his warped definition of what was lovable, love would be fleeting if not impossible to achieve.

There isn't a plastic surgeon, adoring fan or intimate relationship in the world that can make a person feel lovable and loved if they don't hold love for themselves within. Period. Add several exclamation points for extra emphasis. Since Michael didn't think that he was someone who could be loved for who he is, he feared that he would enter into his elder years alone and lonely. This self-loathing and fear was so intense that Michael, perhaps unknowingly, found a way to make sure that dreaded state of existence never became his reality. He didn't live beyond 50 years of age.

That's the sad truth of it all. If you hold a belief about yourself - good or bad - you will make sure that your thoughts, actions and outcomes justify, support and validate that belief. If you think you are unloveable you will make it hard for anyone else, let alone yourself, to love you. If you think you're not smart/talented/rich/lucky/good/worthy/ or "whatever" enough to experience your deepest desires you will work hard to make sure to create evidence to validate that belief. You bought into that belief and, by gosh, you'll do whatever you have to do to justify that purchase.

"We don't see things as they are. We see things as we are." Anais Nin

Not smart enough - you'll hold yourself back from challenges that require a higher level of intelligence than you think you have.
Not talented enough - you'll hold yourself back from pushing beyond where you think the limits of your talent lie.
Not worthy enough - you'll make sure that you don't acquire (or keep if acquired) possessions, career positions or relationship that you think are beyond your worth.

"Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours." -Richard Bach

When you see or read about someone who seemingly has everything - a fabulous career and all the abundance that can come with it - self-destruct in public humiliation there is a good chance that their self-sabotaging behavior is rooted in a belief system that does not support all they have achieved. Usually the fallen friend, celebrity, or politician will Find Excuses And Reasons (F.E.A.R.) to explain their erratic behavior. The truth is, they often just fear that it's only a matter of time before the public finds out the 'truth' about them. This truth is the misguided belief.

Know this, if you discover that you're complaining (resisting) that someone doesn't love, value, respect, consider, appreciate, or whatever you think they don't give you enough of, what is really going on is that you do not hold this same belief about yourself. You don't love, value, respect, consider, appreciate, etc. yourself. If you held those things within you for yourself you would not be looking to others to feel loved, valued or respected. You would have it whether anyone else gave it to you or not. And as presented earlier, you cannot receive what you don't already have within.

So, stop resisting! Be willing to accept and embrace all parts of your. Where you feel "not enough" look for evidence to shine light on experiences where you were most certainly, enough! For example, if you think you are not smart enough, look at all the things you've learned! If you think you're not pretty enough, let the beauty that is within you shine through. There is nothing more stunning than a person who carries beauty and grace within them.

Be willing to let go of your resistance. Notice how your energy shifts and increases as you show up in your day going with the flow instead of pushing against it. If you don't believe me know that your unwillingness to consider this possibility is a form of resistance. All you have to do is turn your focus upon that which you want instead of what you do not want. Just 'try it on' for a couple of days and see if your experiences shift a bit as you create this new perspective.

"Life is the color you paint it." ~ Sophia Elise