How would you rate your communication skills with money?
Have you ever had a conversation with it?
Try it.
Place a bill in front of you.
Ask of it, "How well have I taken care of you?"
What do you hear back?
As odd as it may sound, you will be surprised at how emotional an experience it can be.
I once heard someone equate the way we need to treat our money to the way one needs to raise a healthy child; a lot of nurturing, patience, love, boundaries, support without suffocation, discipline, fun, attention and obviously, much more. You wouldn't abandon or neglect it, would you?
I am sure you can add your own here as to how one needs to "raise" money, but can you see the correlation between the two?
Nurturing - When you nurture something, you lovingly care for and nourish it. You provide the proper environment, the proper food, the proper attention and cultivation. If not, money will suffer in ways that would become obvious, sooner or later..
Patience - It takes time for money to grow. Although I am an advocate of taking immediate action-steps towards your intended outcome, quick fix solutions can make things worse, especially if you are trying to break old habits and do it without self-awareness. Patience is required.
Love - Without it, what is there? If you don't love your money, it will be difficult for money to express its love back to you given your negative feelings towards it.
Boundaries - You must respect money's boundaries. If you overstep them by abusing your position and not allowing money to grow up and become independent and strong, money will suffer.
Support without suffocation - Money needs to flow. If you hoard it or strangle its energy, you will stunt its growth and it could run the risk of being the smallest portfolio in its class.
Discipline - When money is disciplined, it is organized in form and function. Discipline assures money that there is a solid foundation on which it can depend.
Fun and Play! - Spending and making money is fun if you are really living your purpose. Have you considered this in relation to your money? Do you feel that you can't have fun and play and make money? Scientific researcher, Stuart Brown, has proven that the idea of play is not just for fun, but that it is actually necessary for growth!
If that exercise wasn't potent for you, you can also ask yourself, "If Money is my best friend, how would I treat it?"
Your actions are driven by your emotions and that most definitely includes those you feel towards money. If you do one of these exercises, mind what emotions are surfacing as this will help inform you as to how you truly feel about money.
As in any relationship, keep open lines of communication and take care of it. It's one of the most important, yet satisfying relationships you could have in your lifetime!
Helen Kim is an active workshop presenter, speaker and founder of YourMoneyRelationship.com, a company devoted to helping people gain clarity around their relationship to money so they can make conscious financial decisions. Through her workshops, coaching programs, articles and products, Helen helps you loosen the grip that money holds over you, allowing you to experience freedom from the inside, out. With her mindful approach, Helen gives you the opportunity to create a positive, dynamic and nurturing relationship to money and therefore, yourself. The results; a foundation from which you can create a conscious-based, fulfilling life.
Whether you are held hostage to money because you are unable to spend it, you overspend on unnecessary objects or things that you don’t even need or want, you find yourself caught in a debting cycle or you are a chronic under earner, Helen helps you help yourself, believing that we all hold our own answers. Awareness is key in this work of undercovering your money beliefs and coming to understand that which prevents you from moving into your desired place of being.
With 20 years of professional experience as a consultant in business development, career counseling, and management, she has led many workshops and seminars for entrepreneurs, artists and professionals working in the corporate and not-for-profit worlds. Some of her many clients have included the Yale University, Juilliard School, University of Maryland, Boston University, Rutgers University, Riverside Church, International Events Group and the Sony Foundation. She has also been interviewed on National Public Radio’s daily program, Marketplace.
Helen is a Certified Financial Recovery Counselor. A former cellist, she also earned a Bachelor’s Degree from the Juilliard School of Music and studied privately in London, England. And yes, she did practice, practice, practice and eventually got to Carnegie Hall.
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