ABC’s of a Happy Marriage
By Barbara Eubanks
“Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage,” once quipped Ambrose Bierce. If love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage, why do so may end in divorce? Even some couples who stay together seem to do nothing but make each other miserable. This was emphasized when a pastor friend rushed to the hospital to minister to a lady who had been admitted for emergency surgery. Knowing her husband was away on a business trip, the concerned pastor offered to track him down to inform him of his wife’s medical crisis.
“Oh, no, Pastor. Please don’t do that. I look forward to spending at least one peaceful night in the hospital without him.”
Although the pastor was dismayed and somewhat amused by her unusual response, he realized she had stayed in a marriage unhappily for forty years.
Falling in love, having a big wedding, going on an exotic honeymoon may all seem glamorous, but the reality is a good marriage takes work and constant commitment. The end result of unhappiness in marriage doesn’t necessarily have to be divorce. With effort, that unhappiness can be transformed into joy. If people put the energy into keeping their mates as they do in getting them, the divorce rate would drop drastically.
As Steve and I prepared to facilitate a marriage retreat, we came up with the ABC’s of marriage which have worked for us for over fifty years. Perhaps if you implement them, you will discover a renewed happiness and romance.
Affirm daily.
Bury forgiven offenses.
Care for one another in sickness and in health.
Do unto each other as you would have the other do unto you.
Encourage each other in his/her endeavors.
Face each day with a prayer and a smile.
Give generously.
Help with daily tasks (cheerfully).
Ignore minor offenses.
Join hands and hearts in making a happy home.
Keep working at it.
Love with all your heart – agape, philos, eros.
Marriage is a covenant made before God; it’s forever. Remember that daily.
Never let the sun go down upon your wrath.
Open heart and home to God.
Play and pray together.
Quit complaining.
Respect each other, both privately and publicly.
Seek to please rather than to be pleased.
Trust God and each other.
Until the twelfth of never, keep loving.
Value each other.
Worship together
X-out negativity.
Yield not to temptation.
Zealously strive to honor God in your marriage.
Who Am I?
“Who is this Barbara Eubanks? What does she do? What’s she about?” you might ask.
First of all, I am a member of a royal family – a child of the King. That being said, I attempt to live out the principle set down in Proverbs 16:3 - Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. NIV That philosophy hasn’t failed me yet.
Presently, I fill my days telling people, through my writing and speaking, that God WANTS His children to be happy – to laugh and enjoy the blessings he provides. I begin most of my presentations exclaiming, “Rejoice, and again I say rejoice.”
Yes, I’m an author. I have written two humorous, yet inspiring, devotional books – Humorous Happenings in Holy Places (Tate Publishing, 2004) and And the Angels Laughed (Tate Publishing, 2006). Each of these contains 101 humorous, true anecdotes which have taken place in church or which have spiritual implications. I have chapters in two compiled books – Whispering in God’s Ear and 101 Great ways to Improve Your Life Vol. 3.
I find humor wherever I am whether it is in church, with family, or with friends. I believe we should Remind An English proverb says, “Laughter is the best medicine.” The Bible says it a little differently: Proverbs 17:22 -A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones. We should Remind ourselves to look for something to laugh about every day.
Secondly, I believe we should Remember the funny stuff when it happens. That’s why I write down these funny stories. Another way I remember is by doing the third R – Retell it. That is what I do as a Christian humorist.
I am the wife of a minister, mother of three sons, and grandmother to eight grandchildren. I am a retired English teacher, a Sunday school teacher, and a person who loves people and loves life.