Teaching Skills
No matter the age, consistency is the key to teaching good habits and hygiene with the parent being the most influential example. You will find that children will mimic their parents in practically everything and will reflect a lot more back when they become a young adult. Children learn faster when the parent is interacting on their level, such as getting down on the floor and putting their toys away along side them. Walk them through things at a pace that they can follow as they have very short attention spans even without ADHD. Once they have learn something like tying their shoes or taking the bus, step aside and let them do it from then on or you will be taking away their pride in personal growth.
Another enforcer is to let the child show you how it's done as it makes them feel even better about themselves as well as showing you that can actually do it. Children learn well in an entertaining atmosphere as seen on educational shows that are clearly in tune with their leaning capabilities. You can learn a lot of little tricks from those shows as well as imitate the scenarios for quality time with your child if you don't have many ideas of your own yet. Find another angle if bad habits continue as children are always demanding attention and a scolding is attention they will vie for just the same.
Rather than cranking out the angry words when someone leaves their dirty shoes where they don't belong: pull back and take a few seconds to look at the shoes and see them for what they are, just shoes that people where on their feet to go outside.
Be objective by removing your emotional attachment from the shoes and then say in a matter-of-fact or story-telling voice, "Hmm. Dirty shoes, right there, staring at me. Gee...I know they don't belong there. Gosh...I wonder what anyone can do about it?" Or something similar, and then go on with your day. When the culprit comes in the room, tell them the puzzling story of the dirty shoes you found. Eventually they will get the message and you won't make your household sick with bad vibes. Retrain your PPR (Personal Perception Response).
Now every time you think of dirty shoes you will remember the silly story instead of an angry scene.
Realize that children do learn well when taught in the way that each of them learns which is why the school curriculum works well for some kids and not at all for others. Some kids are very bright and get bored easily in the classroom setting, especially those with ADHD. You may have to invest in special tutoring or be your child's tutor in order for them to learn in depth. Also, there are now many computer aids to pick up the slack where the teachers leave off.
See the entire page on Parenting at http://www.dedan.com/Parenting.htm
A single parent of one son with a deadbeat dad since 1981. My son and I had a unique relationship in that he treated me more like an older sister than a mother, which allowed us to be friends, but made discipline hard. We've gone through ADHD, father neglect, family interference and jealousies and of course the raging hormones of the teen-age years. He is one of those miracles where I had planned to never have children and got pregnant with protection, but didn't find out until I was 19 weeks along and I had just split up with his father two weeks prior and moved back to my own town. I have almost lost him a few times through a neglectful babysitter when he was three where he was about to be picked up on walking along the highway and a near abduction when he was four while playing in the park.
I still remember the first time I ever felt real love in my life and it was just a few months after he was born, so he truly taught me that.