A lot has changed since the publication of my book. I shared my personal story dealing with an emotionally unavailable man (EUM) I was seeing at the time. The friendship was great -we couldn't have bonded any tighter- but true to my own integrity as an author and coach (as per my own advice in the book), I moved on when I saw a greener pasture.
No drama. No crying. No emotional mess.
He's Really That Into You, He's Just Not Ready
During my 10 month "stint" with my EUM, not only I was prepared to deal with any man, I was also prepared to raise my vibration to attract the right guy who was not only more ready, yet also would give me most things I wanted in a relationship and in a man. It's because my transformation has given me the high-value woman accolade.
How's that as a proposition?
So I met a new guy who within weeks claimed me in a way I never saw it done to me before.
How did I do that? There was no special "technique" or "strategy" other than the things I have always preached: be confident, be happy, be feminine and let him lead.
Really, just be a woman. And if you are he'll feel like a man. But you wonder what being a woman actually means, right? I think a lot of women -post feminist movement- have lost the sense of what womanhood entails. To them, it seems that being a woman is a lost art and with it gone also the masculine-feminine polarity because femininity is seen as a weakness, instead of an incredible power.
Be The Woman that Captures His Heart: 3 Steps To Make Him Fall In Love
Now I know a lot of women are in this desperate place. They want it so bad for their men to commit to them and only them. The thing is they go around it the wrong way: nagging, threatening, ultimatums. They go around it relying on their masculine energy of controlling instead of the feminine energy they are naturally gifted with.
Many women fell for a classic trap that simply never works.
We think that by "communicating" what we desire again and again will somehow make him see. Women often don't understand the way that gets to a man. It's not through nagging and expressing our expectations over and over, but through letting him process whatever it is he's feeling on his own.
If you want to know why men disappear after a hot beginning, this can be why. There are other reasons too of course. Find out once and for all why all the men you've been attracted to seem to always fade into thin air.
I'll say it right now, a man will never truly commit to a woman unless he CHOOSES to commit to her.
If you give him an ultimatum, beg or plead or cry or do anything to "force" him to commit he'll always have one foot already out the emotional door from day one and your relationship will be pretty much doomed.
Nope, to have a guy REALLY fall in love with you (and STAY in love with you) he's got to make the CONSCIOUS choice to stop "playing the field" and be with you.
So how do you inspire a guy to make a conscious choice to just be with you and claim you?
Is He Emotionally Unavailable Or Is He Just Not That Into You?
A lot of times women have issues with a man's journey. His journey isn't complete yet -hence he's not ready and you are lucky he tells you nothing but the whole truth-, and he is not a bad man for that. And it's exactly why people who have issues with other people's journeys will forever be at the mercy of the roller-coaster emotions.
One thing that a woman needs to learn and embrace is not to try to control him and the outcome of relationship. Instead of trying to change him and clinging on whatever it is you think you need, it's so much easier to hang loose and let go. You become the dignified person in his eyes. And when you accept instead of resisting, you create a space within yourself to create the kind of life you really want. Resisting makes you cling and the vibe you radiate is the one of a repellent. You also become a slave to other people's will power. That's the most frustrating place to be.
Many women though need to hit rock bottom to really see this and eventually just let go.
And when you truly let go you will see things really start to change....
Can "Friends With Benefits" Turn Into A Relationship?
Clinging -be it to an idea or a person- is tiring. It doesn't give you peace of mind and it doesn't endear whoever you are clinging to toward you. It's also a form of chasing and most men will run away when they are chased by a woman. Nagging about his lack of commitment is a waste of time. And the reason you are here reading this is because you have tried it for so many months and years already and it always leads to the same outcome: heartache.
Am I right?
A high-value woman doesn't cling. She loves herself so much she will only deal with guys who treat her like a gem. Those who aren't sure about her will not be her priority. She mirrors and doesn't get ahead of any guy. She knows that over-investing will only ends in emotional disaster because the very act lowers her value in a guy's eyes.
If you are currently in a casual relationship and you're wondering if you can turn that around, you can talk to me personally. I'd like to help you transform yourself and with it your relationship.
Casual to Committed: How to Turn Your Relationship Around
This article is one of the breakup series I write. Please check my author page for more articles on the subejct or join me in my ex-back support group and relationship forum for more tips on how to deal with your breakup and how to get yourself on the path of getting your love and your life back. Please also follow me on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/katarina.phang for my daily nuggets of reflections/insights/advice and tips on attracting and maintaining a lasting relationship and fixing a broken one.
Katarina Phang is an author, love/life coach specializing on reuniting couples and curing troubled relationship. She founded a free ex-back support group and relationship forum http://gettheloveyoudeserve.info.