Peace Through Inner Resolution - You Are More Than Your “Story”

What if you are more than your story of who you think you are? Have you ever wondered who you would be, if you put down your story? These words can sound like a puzzle, confusing and convoluted, yet this is the way many people live their lives; from a story of who they think they are. This story is our ego, often made up of faulty beliefs and misconceptions.

I have had the opportunity to be trained in a variety of different healing techniques that challenge, in a gentle way, the image of who we think we are. Many of these techniques go beyond the psychological or conscious realm and into the unconscious or mystical realm. Within the unconscious lie the answers to our programming or conditioning of how we view the world. From the time we were in the womb we were being “fed” messages of how safe the world was. If our mother was happy and balanced, we were being fed contentment. If our mother was feeling depressed or anxious, we were being fed fear. Before we even entered into this physical world, we were wired chemically and energetically toward a pre-disposition of how we would view our life. Once we were born, from the ages 1 – 7 years old we were learning and downloading life. Depending on the different messages that we directly or indirectly received from the people who had the most influence in our lives, we either learned that we were wonderful and brilliant or disgusting and stupid. If we were born with the propensity or condition for anxiety, the messages that we received from significant others greatly influenced how we showed up in our life. This is also known as resiliency; the ability to bounce back when life is less than kind. If a little one is born with the wiring of well-being and love, they will download life with more of an optimist outlook, thus being more resilient. From the ages of 7 – 12 years old, beliefs and attitudes lock in to one’s psyche and create our unconscious, which tends to lead us to live out our stories. The unconscious part of us motivates our behavior and actions in a manner that sometimes has us reacting to situations in the same way, over and over again rather then consciously responding in a different way.

All of this leads to my initial point, which is, we are more than our story. If we are raised in a family that has a lot of trauma, abuse, discord and chaos, we may build a story of who we think we are in relation to the environment that we grew up in. As a way of surviving, we take on behaviors, attitudes, beliefs and conditions in which we live our lives. These behaviors, attitudes, beliefs and conditions may be faulty or not true, yet as a coping mechanism or way to survive, we take them on as our truth or our story.

Once this story becomes ingrained or a part of us, seldom do we question it. Instead we reference it; “I am a victim” or “I am a failure”. We can go on our whole life not questioning our story or who we think we are. We begin to gather evidence that we are what we think we are in the form of relationships, the type of job that we have or the amount of money that we earn. Until we become conscious and question our story we will not be able to move forward. As one evolves in their life, they may come to a place where they start to challenge the “story” of who they think they are. When this happens, it’s as if a light bulb went off. Suddenly, there is the questioning of “who am I, if I move beyond my story?” Angeles Arrien noted that as we move forward in our spiritual growth we discover that the ego has a FACE. This face is Fear, Attachment, Control and Entitlement. As we begin looking at our story with loving kindness, we can begin to look at the areas of us that are in Fear of releasing our story, Attached to how our story has served us, Controlled with how our story has kept us, Entitled to the drama of our story and how it has served us. These are considerations or realities that can be difficult to come to terms with, yet when we do, the truth can set us free.

To really look at our life and our story can be a challenge and at time difficult. This article is an invitation to perhaps begin to look at who you think you are with loving kindness and compassion. When we can release ourselves from who we think we are, separating the facts from our “story”, then we can fully step into the wholeness and perfectness of who we are.